Her Substitute Groom

Connor Hughes

“Are you out of your mind? Why would you even do something like that?” Khan shrieked when he heard what happened, but I only rolled my eyes at him sarcastically, sinking into the couch. Spending the whole day frustrated wasn’t for me, so I called him a few minutes ago and asked him to meet me at the club where we usually have a nice time together. I’m glad he showed up for me as always.

“It wasn’t my fault, Khan. Come to think of it, he started the fight. Why would he come to confront me?” I scoffed, trying to prove my innocence to him, but it seemed like no matter what I tell him or how I presented it, he would still end up blaming me for what happened, and it was really annoying.

“Even if he started it, you shouldn’t have done that. You fucking destroyed his eyes, and because of what you did, the doctor said he won’t be able to see ever again. Are you happy to see your brother like that?” He insisted, and I rolled my eyes. Who cares if he loses his sight?

“If he was not my brother, he would’ve been dead a long time ago. That is how I feel. I’ve only been merciful and soft toward him because he is my brother. I hate him so much that I won’t think twice about killing him if I had the chance to…”

“You are going crazy, man. You are really losing your mind, and it’s bothering me. I know this dude hurt you, but that is all in the past now. He is still your brother, no matter what happens. Just because you hate her shouldn’t justify what you did. What you did was wrong, and…”

“So what? What if I did that to him? Why is everyone turning against me as if I’m the bad guy here? Did you all think about what he did and how he ruined my life? Have you ever stopped to think about how miserable my life has become because of that bastard?” I yelled at him, slamming my hands on the center table, and he flinched.

“Connor…”

“You all talk to me as if I’m the bad person here. Have you ever thought about the pain I went through because of that bastard? Because of him, I have to live the rest of my life miserably. Do you still think he didn’t deserve what I did to him?” I couldn’t control the anger that was trying to consume me no matter how hard I tried to. Just the memories of the past that has left me in pain for years were triggering everything, and the more I thought about it, the more my thirst for vengeance kept growing. It hurts no matter how much I tried to get it off my head. It has been living in my head for years, that horrible moment has been living rent-free in my head, and it didn’t seem like it was ever going to leave.

“Come on, Connor. Don’t be like that. I’m not saying you are a bad person, what I mean is that…”

“I accept that I’m a monster, but what about him? You all go ahead and ask me always how could I have done that to my brother… Did you ask him why he did that horrible thing to me? You were aware of everything that happened, did you ask him the same question? Why he had to do that to his brother that did nothing all his life but love him?” Tears streamed down my cheeks as I roared uncontrollably. If we were not in the VIP section and if the music outside was not loud, I’m sure people would’ve gathered around by now to know what was happening, but I could only care less. You can call me crazy, but I am always a psychopath whenever I’m angry. My emotions always get the best of me, and I never made any effort to control it.

“Why are you lashing out at me? Come on, man,” He scoffed, trying to calm me down.

“I told you to let go of this already. If you are holding on to that horrible memory, you will be the one that will get hurt, and nobody else. You already had your revenge by doing that on his wedding day…”

“It’s not enough. Even if he has to pay for his life, it won’t still be enough to make up for the pain he caused me. I would do that over and over again if I have to…”

“That is not what matters, Connor. Have you ever asked yourself if this is what you really want? Does doing this make you happy or make you feel more miserable? Are you going to turn a monster just because your brother hurt you? What has come over you?” Khan yelled at me, slamming his hands on the table, and I bit my bottom lip. The tears I’ve been fighting back finally found their way down my cheeks, as I stared into space. Is this what I really want? Will this take the horrible memories away? It’s not that I’ve been so foolish to not think about this. I’ve asked myself over and over again, but what really makes me happy? There was absolutely nothing that does it, so I just wanted to do this. Who knows, maybe my anger will subside if I do.

“I am your best friend, Connor. We have been together for years, we have been through thick and thin together, and if you are doing something wrong which I failed to tell you, nobody else will. It’s high time you let go of everything and move on. You are going to keep hurting yourself if you continue like this,” He pleaded with me, but that was the last thing I would ever do. Listening to him and allowing Carl to have a peaceful life after what he did to me was the last thing I would ever do. If making his life miserable was the last thing I would do before I die, I will gladly lay my life down for it.

“I’m never going to stop, Khan. There is nothing you will tell me that will make me change my mind. I’m never going to stop, not until I destroy him,” I shook my head, and he scoffed.

“Have you ever thought about other people while thinking about yourself? Have you ever asked yourself how your parents will feel about this?” I guess he realized being nice to me won’t do the magic, so he yelled and slammed his hands on the desk, and I sighed briefly.

“It doesn’t matter. They are going to hate me after this, so what’s the point of thinking about them? I have chosen to be a villain because of Carl, and I will be that until the very end. I won’t ever stop, Khan. Not until I see Carl’s life ruined,” I stated, and he stared back at me unbelievably with his jaw dropped. It wasn’t my fault that I turned out like this, but his. He turned me into the monster I am today, and he would continue to be tormented by this monster until the very end…