Hatred With Benefits

T H I R T Y - N I N E

EVA.

I make my way inside the bathroom and Emerson walks in through his side at the same time. His gaze

drops down my body and without a word, he moves out of the room.

A sigh leaves my mouth as I turn to the sink. It's been a week since that morning on his bed, and things

have turned wholly bad for both of us. There have been no snarky comments from him, no looks of

annoyance and no mocking words just to taunt me; no form of interaction at all and the only time he

speaks to me is when he's buried inside me. Whatever came over him from that day, he's following

strictly with our arrangement and I'm aggravated to admit that I miss the other side of him. I told him to

follow the rules, only to discover following the rules rigidly might not be so fun after all.

Pulling out of Emerson's thoughts and stripping out of my clothes, I walk through the glass door and

move under the shower. I turn it on and place my hands on the wall with my head hanging between the

space as I let the cold water run down my body, soothing the skin and calming my nerves.

After spending a longer time than necessary inside the bathroom, I make my way out of the room and it

isn't long before I hear the click of the door and the running of the shower– which tells me Emerson is

inside.

I bite down on my lips as I move from my spot and stride towards my closet for my clothing for the day,

and I settle with a short skirt and a boxy crop top.

I clad my body in the clothing and pull my hair into a tight bun before I slide my feet into my flats and

walk out of the room with my bag hanging off my shoulder.

As I walk inside the living room, Emerson emerges from the kitchen dressed in his usual attire with a

key dangling off his pinky finger.

To strike a conversation, I part my lips to speak. "Hey, do you think–" Emerson doesn't let me finish my

words before he cut me off. "I'm heading out first. See you later, Carson. " And those are the only

words he utters before he walks past me, and shuts the door behind him as he moves out, leaving me

on my spot.

~

"She asked you out on a date?" I repeat Aliya's words as we walk across the field after class and she

bobs her head in response to my words before she opens her mouth to speak, "A formal date, or at

least that's what she called it. She said I can't decline either. "

"And you said Chloe? Not Sage?" I point out for clarification and Aliya's shoulders sink into a sigh as

she halts her steps and turns to me. "I was just as surprised as you are when she told me. "

At the indecision that encircles my best friend's entire form; I open my mouth and say, "I think you

should go. "

Aliya's head snaps to me, and before she can speak; I continue, "To get a chance to see another side

of Chloe. Maybe that'll heighten your opinion about her. It'll give you a clearer view of the kind of person

she is, and I think that'll make things easier for the three of you. I mean, you got to meet that side of

Sage, it only makes sense that you give the other one a chance too. "

"Eva Carson. " Aliya calls with a grin. "Sometimes, you're just too smart for yourself. "

"I know. " I mumble with a proud smile. "Brain is the new sexy, bitch. "

Aliya laughs and shakes her head before the sound dies down from a voice that doesn't belong to

either of us.

"Hey ladies. " Dan stands in front of me, and I throw him a smile as I say, "Hey, you. "

"Evie, I need to leave. " Aliya says, and I turn to meet her eyes. She waves her phone in front of her

with an apologetic look on her face and I nod in understanding, giving her the gesture to move.

"Text me, yeah?" She squeezes my shoulder and nods her head as a form of greeting to Dan before

she skips away from us. And as I watch her go, my eyes catch the sight of Emerson moving out of the

campus with a new girl I've never seen with him. They look close. Ridiculously close with his arm

across her shoulder and her body perched to his side. Closer than necessary.

"I guess luck is on my side today. " I tear my gaze away from him at Dan's words, to settle it on his and

he says, "I was going to ask you to come to my place? Hang out a bit?"

I should decline. I shouldn't agree with it, knowing what's bound to come from it, but it's said that

people tend to make crazier decisions when they're not in the right state of mind and that's the only

excuse for the answer I give Dan.

"I don't see why not. " His lips curve into a wide smile and he places his hand on the small of my back

as he leads me to where his bike is parked.

~

"I didn't know you were in the fraternity. " I tell Dan as I climb off his bike and pass him his helmet, and

he removes his before he says, "You met me here, remember?"

"I did. " I agree with his words as he hangs the helmet by the handle and gets off the bike. "I just didn't

know you stay here. You never mentioned it either. "

"We both managed to miss that slight detail of where we live; how couple like, don't you think?" Dan

jokes and a chuckle slips through my parted lips before I say, "I don't think so. "

"You just hurt me daily, Eva. " A playful hurtful expression climbs on his face as he crosses a hand over

his chest and we both break into a laugh.

"Come on. " He says, motioning for me to follow him and I trail behind him as we walk inside the house,

and stroll down the hallway before we arrive in front of his room.

"Bigger than I expected. " I tell Dan as we walk inside the room and he hurries to gather things that are

littered across the floor.

"I pulled some strings. You can grab a seat on the bed. " He motions to the single bed in the room and I

look around for chairs, only to end up with none.

As I walk to the bed and take a seat, I tease Dan and say, "Do you have no other seats inside this room

on purpose, Dan?"

He raises his head to me as he dumps the clothes to the side with a tiny smirk playing by the corners of

his lips, "Maybe I did. Makes things easier, don't you think?" He winks and a laugh falls from my mouth.

"Do you want anything?" He asks as he strides towards me to settle beside me and I give a shake of

my head, letting my bag fall off my shoulder.

"No, I'm good for now. So... What are we doing, Dan?" I blink up at him and a smile crosses his lips as

he pushes his face closer to mine and says, "You shouldn't act innocent, Eva. "

I drop my gaze to the swipe of his tongue across his lips before I lift it to meet his eyes and I raise my

brows, "Am I supposed to know?"

Daniel chuckles and shifts closer to me till our faces are only inches away from each other and his

hand drops to my thigh, pushing forward till he's tugging my skirt up to leave the skin exposed to his

gaze.

He angles his head to the side to press a kiss to my cheek and trails it up to my ear before he pulls my

earlobe into his mouth. A moan falls from my throat as I close my eyes to the warmth of his mouth on

my earlobe before I open them when he draws back.

"Remember our conservation from that day?" He asks in a small voice, his hand, not stopping its

manoeuvres on my thighs and I say, "Which one? We've had lots of conservations, Dan. "

"The one where I promised to recreate your porn video for you?" He clarifies, his eyes dropping to my

lower face and it doesn't take a genius to tell what he's hinting at.

"I remember that. " I tell him and he pushes his face forward again, sinking his teeth into my lower lip

and eliciting a whimper from me before he pulls back with a satisfied smile and says, "I'm about to do

that, Eva and I'll make it even better for you. "

I open my mouth to speak, but before the words can slip through; Dan's lips are on mine and he's

lowering my body into the mattress, his other hand not stopping its movements on my exposed thigh as

he attacks my mouth and slides his tongue between my lips. I groan in response to the kiss and let my

hands fall to his shoulder, grabbing onto whatever I can of his clothing as the kiss gets heated and

wilder, with him not giving me a chance to take a lead.

"Dan. " I let out a moan of his name when he moves his body fully over mine– sandwiching me

between his body and the bed.

His other hand moves to my face and he aids it to tilt my head to the side, to move his lips across my

neck; sucking and scraping his teeth across the skin. When Dan moves back to my lips with his hand

across my thigh getting dangerously close to my panties, I try to speak against his lips but he swallows

each sound before it can be formed into anything meaningful.

He drops his head to my chest and sinks his teeth into my breast through the material of my top with

his hand gliding underneath my panties.

"Dan, stop. " I pant, pushing at his chest but he doesn't listen. He gives another bite to my chest as he

presses his forefinger to my core and I'm writhing underneath him.

"Dan, stop. Dan!" My voice comes out loud, but Dan doesn't seem to listen to me as he rubs my clit

with his thumb and the corners of my eyes burn with tears as the dark memories glimmer before my

eyes: Forcing his way. Not stopping despite the pleads. Incapable to prevent it. Weak and miserable.

"Dan!" I raise my knee to the front of his pants just as his finger slides inside my core and a grunt fall

from his mouth as he staggers back before he raises his head to me with wide eyes.

I'm quick to climb off the bed and yank my skirt down, grabbing my bag from his bed as guilt masks his

expression.

"Eva–" he starts, moving to his feet to step closer to me. "I'm so fucking sorry. I have no idea what

came over me. I just couldn't–"

"Yeah, you lost control. " I complete the rest of his words and his face falls as he says, "I'm so sorry,

Eva. I didn't mean to force anything on you. I just... I'm sorry? Forgive me, please. "

With another look at the man in front of me, I shake my head and say, "I'll see you around, Dan. " And I

don't wait to listen to any more of his words before I make my way to the exit and walk out of the room,

heading to the one place that I know would take control of the dark thoughts that go through my mind

from Dan's unwelcomed action.

~

Emerson is on the couch with his eyes on the screen of his phone as I walk through the door, and his

head snaps to me at the sound of the door and the drop of my bag to the floor. He takes a drag down

my body and he's about to look away until his gaze settles on my face again and a crease forms over

his forehead as he calls out my name, "Eva?"

I don't think about the mess that we've got going on between us at the moment; what I think about is

the fact that I need this man right now as I open my mouth to say, "Emerson. I need you. "

Emerson doesn't stay another second before he's on his feet and striding toward me. He takes in my

appearance again as he stands in front of me before he lifts his touch to my face; his hands cupping

my cheeks.

"Are you alright? Did something happen?" I don't fail to notice the worry in Emerson's voice and without

a word, I angle my head to the side and lean it on his shoulder, sliding a hand around his neck to bring

his body into mine and Emerson doesn't say anything as he wraps his arms around my middle and

presses his body tighter to mine– giving me exactly what I need.

"You're fine. You're fine, Carson. " He mumbles into my ear as he gives slow strokes to my back and

lets me stay in his arms for all the time I need before I pull back to look into his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks in a soft voice as he rubs his hands down my arms and I give a

nod before I let Emerson lead me to the couch. He throws his phone to the side and pulls me to his

side with his shoulder pressing into mine as we settle on the couch.

I take a few minutes to calm my breathe before I turn my head to Emerson and part my lips, letting the

words slip through, "I was with Dan. "

I notice the slight change in Emerson's expression after those words, but he doesn't act on it and waits

for me to continue.

And I do. "We were at his place. Making small talks and having fun, then it turned serious. His lips were

on mine and I–" I pause as Emerson adjusts in his seat and I swallow down my throat before I proceed.

"We were making out but he wanted more. His hand moved past my panties, slipping to my bare

pussy–"

"Eva. " Emerson calls out and I lift my head to him to say, "Listen, Ford. "

He gives a nod for me to continue and I start to speak again. "He was about to slide his finger into my

core, but I wanted him off. I tried pushing him off, but he kept going. He didn't stop. He moved to my

breasts and slide a finger into my core. He was–"

"He tried to fúcking touch you without your fucking consent?" Emerson growls, annoyance creeping

into his tone and when I give a bob of my head, he says, "I'm going to fúcking kill him. That's fucking

assault! " He's on his feet now, pacing in front of me.

"He said he lost control–"

"No fucking chance. That's a fucking shitty excuse. " Emerson fumes and I shake my head, pulling him

to my side before I speak again. "I led him on, Ford. I let him touch me, and didn't stop when he wanted

more. I didn't think to stop until it was too much. "

"It wasn't your fault. He's fúcking crazy for–" Emerson starts, but I cut him off. "I don't have a problem

with him losing control, but I do have a problem with him not stopping, because it brought memories.

Dark memories, Emerson. Memories that I've been wanting to get past. "

"Eva–" he lets out my name in a tiny voice as he turns his body to my side so my shoulder is pressing

into his chest, instead of his shoulder.

"Remember the night when I told you I'm to blame for my sister's death?" I question him and Emerson

hums in response.

Turning to meet his eyes, I gnaw my lips before I open my mouth to let out the words that I've never

spoken to anyone else. The words that have been buried deep inside my mind– to dig up the memory

that's been engraved to my soul. I open my mouth and reveal my darkest secret to Emerson Ford.

"At fourteen, me and my sister were kidnapped by some men, and they did terrible things to us.

Horrendous disgusting things that haunt me to this day. "