HAPPY FOREVER AFTER

“I would never hurt you like that.” He threw his head back. “I will never step out on you. Ever.”

Distantly, she knew that was probably true, given the betrayal he’d suffered at the hands of his ex, but all she could say was a tormented, “Why the hell would I give you the chance to say anything? You can’t even-”

“I trust you, Emma! Damn it. I do” he cut in, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I came all this way to tell you that. To make you believe it.” he said

“And started by asking why I was talking to another man? Samson was asking about the baby and you. He wanted to know if I was leaving with you. Okay? You said so without even talking to me about it. Still being controlling as always. That’s what we were talking about.” She looked blindly toward the blackened windows.

After a pulse of silence, he said, “I was talking to Isabel about getting you a ring.”

“You were talking about getting me a ring?” She repeated. She had to drag her brain back from wondering where she would sleep tonight and looked blankly at him. “Why?” she asked.

“Because..” he began and then paused, wondering if she would believe him now if he told her that he was in love with her. “Because we’re having a baby together… And it’s the right thing to do?” he said finally.

Emma took a deep breath. “Daniel…” she began. Hopelessness overwhelmed

her.

He ran his hand through his hair, seeming flummoxed. Maybe even edging toward despair. He knew what she was about to say just from the look in her eyes.

“But I told you,” she began again with a tremor in her chest.

“Don’t say you won’t marry me.” He said softly. He closed his eyes and his voice was so hushed, it was a prayer. His hand fisted as though he was enduring great pain. “Don’t tell me you’re not coming back.”

———————–

“You wouldn’t let me stay with my mom if I decided to, Would you?” Her natural optimism flared, sensing a turning point. She waited for him to say of course he wouldn’t let her stay. He loved her and couldn’t bear to let her go.

But as silence greeted her question, she knew herself to be deluded. Her last spark of hope was gutted in an agonizing burn, leaving her abandoned in a wasteland of loneliness.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Daniel said and braced his hands on the back of the sofa, arms wide, head hanging, shoulders looking ready to buckle under a weight. “I haven’t seen you smile in weeks. Then, tonight… You were radiant.”

The beds of his fingernails were white where he dug them into the sofa. “I wasn’t suspicious when you were talking to Samson. I was jealous for an entirely different reason.”

A despairing noise choked in her throat as she watched him. He picked up his head and shook it in a way that seemed like indulgent affection. Gentle exasperation, maybe.

“Men look at you, Emma. Never doubt your attraction. Everyone notices you. You don’t see it, which is part of your charm, but everyone wants to be near you. I know I do. I didn’t think you were flirting with Samson or anything like that,” he dismissed. “I was jealous because you were smiling at him. I can’t remember when you last smiled at me. Maybe I deserve that. I know I’ve hurt you. So many times. But that’s why I asked what you were talking about. I wanted to know what made you smile. I wanted some crumb of your life that isn’t the suffering I’ve inflicted on you.”

Emma wasn’t expecting all that and all she could say was “Oh, Daniel.” She sank into the armchair, defeated. “This isn’t something you’ve done to me.” she said softly.

She was the idiot who had fallen in love with a man who had warned her he had no heart. A man who had told her he didn’t want a commitment. A man who had asked for a friends with benefits relationship. As hurt as she was, she couldn’t blame everything on him.

“Like hell it isn’t! Every day I think I’ll be lucky when the baby arrives. I thought the morning sickness and baby stress was what had sucked away that brightness in you. Or the troubles with my family. I thought that once the baby came, you’d come back to life. But that’s not what’s eating away at you. It’s me.”

She couldn’t deny it. Could only swallow back her unrequited love, drained and grief stricken by the effort.

“I’m killing you by inches. I saw that today and it tears me up. I can’t make you come home with me, but I can’t imagine going home without you.” He clenched his jaw, looking as though he was taking a whipping and refusing to let his cries break free from his locked throat.

“Because of the baby?” She asked. She could hardly breathe.

“I promised you I would take care of the both of you. I’ll keep my word. Please let me” he said.

“You’ll see your child, Daniel.” Emma said, thinking that that was what he was worried about. I won’t keep the baby away from you. You will see your child. Every day if-”

“I want you.” Daniel blurted out. He looked like he would snap the sofa in two. “In my bed. In my life. Every day. But I don’t know how to keep you without destroying you.”

Emma watched him. Nothing crushed her like pain. Especially when the people she loved suffered. In that way, she was exactly like those who had made her. She couldn’t witness his agony and not want to alleviate it.

“Oh, Daniel.” She said. She buried her face in her hands but knew she would have to release her heart to him. Lay it bare and accept the imperfection and inequality of their feelings for one another.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” He said softly.

She looked up to see him taking the seat opposite her.

“I’m not crying. But, Daniel, I-” she began but he interrupted her.

“Wait. Shh. Let me do something. Will you give me your hands?” He asked. He held out his own.