Four or Dead by G O A

Four or Dead

Emma

After the meeting, I am hit with a crazy bout of morning sickness....in the afternoon! I guess 'morning sickness' is just a phrase. I haven't had time to study anything about what goes on during pregnancy. I think subconsciously I keep thinking has to be a mistake. Not that I never want to be a mother but this is just not the time to be dealing with the side effects that growing a small human can cause. \*

I'm also terrified that I have no idea how to be a good mom. My mom died when I was young and my dad hurt me. Not exactly much of an example of great parenting. Also with the life I've fallen into, I'm not sure it's even safe for a baby. The thing is, even though I know I have the choice to end my pregnancy, I can't bring myself to consider it. It's not this baby's fault that I am completely ill-prepared. Besides...isn't that something I should talk with the father about? \* I

I don't know

I want to keep the baby but what if...Jayden doesn't? I have no doubt he's the father. We weren't exactly careful and he was the last one I was with before being with Zane. Thank god I was able to keep Zane from ever being able to get me pregnant. Knowing him he had a plan to trap me like that all along. Too bad someone else had beat him to it. That also has my stomach turning, thinking of what he would have done if he found out I was carrying another man's baby. *)

"Hey." Wyatt pops his head in and I can't help but smile. "How are you feeling?"

I grumble. "Like I lost all my breakfast too quickly and not at all in a pleasant way." I)

He chuckles at my pouting and I start to feel a little better. He has a way about him that I find relaxing and I could use that right now. The other guys would be freaking out and treating me like I'm injured. I love that they care about me that way and I know they will be amazing protectors to the baby but sometimes you just want to be treated normally

"Im sorry. Can I get you anything? Ginger Ale maybe?" He asks

"Smoothie?"

For some reason, the sound of blended fruit makes my stomach roll again. My face must reveal my thoughts because Wyatt chuckles. He walks over to where I'm laying on my bed and sits beside me

"What sounds good?" He asks and I consider the question

"Flaming hot Cheetos," I say proudly and he sputters out an amused laugh. 7)

"The sound of a smoothie is bad enough to make you sick but flaming

hot Cheetos sound good. I'm guessing this is a small peek of the weird

cravings I'm to expect the next few months." He says shaking his head, but he leans down and leaves a kiss on my forehead

When he sits up he lets out a sigh

"What?" I can tell there's something he wants to say but he's holding back

"T know you don't want to tell the other guys about the baby, but I think they need to know." He must see a hint of sadness in my eyes because he's quick to add, "Not that I won't love taking care of you through this but they have the right to be with you too. Don't you think? They're a part of your life and Jayden is the baby's father."

I know he's right but I don't want to be sidelined on what's coming next. I just need to make sure they know it

"T just don't want to be whisked away and protected, which is exactly what they will want to do once they find out. Don't get me wrong, I love how protective they can be but with everything going on I want to be in the action." I say honestly

He slips his hand into mine and entwines our fingers together. "They just want to keep you safe, and so do I. We don't know what will happen when all this stuff goes to hell. A lot of people could get hurt and none of us want you to be one of them."

I sigh. I know it's selfish of me to want to be a part of everything, but it's not just me I need to worry about now. I'm growing a tiny person inside me and I know a good mother would never put their baby at risk

Maybe I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a mom, but trying means being careful and thinking things through

"You're right." I hate that it's true, but it is. "I'll call them now."

"Why don't we go see them in person? It's not exactly the kind of news you tell someone over the phone." He raises a brow at me like I should

know this and I roll my eyes but add a smirk so he knows I'm teasing

He's been so great about all this and it feels nice to have that kind of support. These guys are all I have in the world now, and I need them if I'm going to get through this. I sit up straight and pull out my new phone and dial Asher's number. He's been off since I saw him again and I think he may be feeling a little unwanted so I need to be sure to rectify that. As much as he plays tough, he can be hurt easily and I never want to be the one to hurt him. I have been off too, but I need to get past all my nerves and hang-ups and just give in to how much I missed them. \°)

I want to be strong and independent and maybe it's the hormones but I want to be near them right now

When I hear the sound of the call going through I lift the phone to my ear and wait to hear Asher's husky voice

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"Hello?" I smile instantly

"Hey you," I say and I swear if I was there he would be smiling and trying to hide it

"Hey." He says in that casual way of his when he's trying to act cool and aloof

"T miss you," I say truthfully and I hear him let out a long breath

"...I miss you too." He says

"Are you sure? You hesitated there." I tease him

He sighs and lets out a short chuckle. "Of course I miss you. More than you know."

Those last words are muttered softly and hit my right in the heart. I have been so selfish. I have been angry and scared and wanting to feel some control in my life, and I've hurt the guys in the process. I'm giving them scraps of me when I should be there with them. The guilt hits me hard and I feel the urge to cry building...

Freakin hormones

"IT want to come to see you guys. Is that okay?" I ask

"Yeah. Actually, I would like it more if you came home but I know you want space." He says begrudgingly

I bet that tasted like sour milk coming out

"IT needed some time, but I think I need to spend time with you guys too," I say

I hadn't considered going home yet but I'm gettting there. I look to Wyatt and he gives me a small smile. Things between us have happened quickly and we are still so new that I am not sure what to do in this

situation. The motel is his home, and he brought me here to make it my home too if I wanted it. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him behind and make him feel left out of all this. \?)

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Honestly having all these guys in my life can be really confusing. I didn't really find it too odd to be with the others but we kind of just fell into it. Wyatt is different. He's new in every way. I feel a bond with him that I can't explain, but we are still learning about each other. At the same time, I feel like I already know him. I can't figure any of it out let alone explain it. I guess with some people you just know

"Are you guys home now?' I ask Asher

"Yeah, we just got back and were going to order some food." He says and I realize I'm suddenly super hungry. "Should I order something for you?"

I hear hope in his voice and I can't help but smile. "Yeah, you know what I like." UJ

He chuckles. "Sure do. Is...he coming too?"

I shake my head at the sharpness in his voice at the mention of Wyatt

"Yeah, he'll be there."

When I look at Wyatt again I see how happy he is to be included. Well, he has to get used to it because he's one of my guys now. 7

Asher grunts." I'll make sure to order enough for everyone then. See

you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in about an hour," I say

"Okay, see you then." He says

"See you soon."

When I hang up and give Wyatt an amused look. "Happy to come are you?" I ask teasingly

"Happy to be anywhere with you." He says smirking

I let out a surprised laugh. "You smooth talker."

He blushes a little and pulls me up from the bed to help me get ready like I'm already too pregnant to do it myself. It's ridiculous and super sweet. I think I will definitely keep him around. \°