Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

Chapter 183 -91

"fastest dinner ever..."

I hear Bronx say, but he sounds like he’s underwater.

The high pitch buzzing sound is trying to push its way forward, but I fight against it with all my concentration.

Lex is trying to speak to me, but she sounds like she’s miles away.I stand up so I can join Bronx in front of the table, but Milo and Lenora take my hands and pull me into my seat.

Codi is in my lap, hugging me tightly.I can feel the warmth of our special connection and hug her back.

Pack members cheer and howl silently as Bronx gives his speech.He paces slowly and confidently while his hands add emotion to his words.

Our pack looks so happy.

That’s how it should be.

Happy.

A plate of chicken cordon bleu is in front of me.I look at it curiously.

My mind can’t seem to remember how eating works.I dip my finger in the sauce and give Codi a taste.

She claps her hands, but there is no noise.

Lenora gives Bronx a worried look and shakes her head as she pulls her pup from my lap.

Red, gold, and white decorations glitter in the background, slightly out of focus.

People look up from their dinner.I can sense their worry.It hits me in crashing waves.

Milo and Reggie are on either side of me, helping me to my feet.We are walking down a hallway.

Marco is ahead of us, holding his phone to his ear.I feel a hand on the small of my back.I look up to see who it is and trip over my feet.

Bronx catches me and picks me up, carrying me the rest of the way.I don’t even know where we’ re going.I close my eyes and let the scent of coffee and dark chocolate lull me into a relaxed sleep.

"Leticia? Are you here?"иσνєℓєвσσк.¢σмI call out as I walk into the apartment.

"To..uhh...Kas?"

Leticia pops her head out from what appears to be an office.There are small symbols painted on her face that look like runes.She has her hair pulled back into a black bandana.She wipes her hand over her face and the markings magically disappear, "I wasn’t expecting you.What’s going on?"

"I have some questions.Do you have time?"

I cross my arms in frustration, trying to remember I’m not upset with her.I also don’t want to set her off.

Especially since I need her help.

Leticia looks into the room she is peeking out from, then back out at me, "O-of course, I always have time for you.Give me just a second.I’ll meet you in the living room."

She slams the door, closing herself in.

From inside, I hear a bird squawking and loud banging.

There are several crashes of glass breaking, then silence.I back away slowly into the living room and wait for her to come out.

She comes out of the room as if nothing happened, looking like she is fresh out of the shower even though she closed the door to the room two minutes ago.

Not nearly long enough to take a shower.

She holds her arms out for a hug, a huge grin on her face.My resolve softens as I look at her.I can’t imagine there are many people showing her affection these days.I approach her and wrap my arms around her tightly and she returns the embrace.

She takes a slightly ragged breath as she buries her head in my shoulder.I rub her back slightly and let her take her time.

She finally clears her throat and pulls away from me, "To what doI owe this pleasure, darling?"

"Let’s sit.I just found out a ton of stuff about myself.I want to know more from your perspective, please," I sigh, letting my hands fall heavily to my sides, then plop onto the sofa, pulling her down with me.

"This seems like a conversation that needs snacks," she smiles.

I watch as she waves her hand over our laps, exposing a bowl of popcorn, glazed pecans, and mugs of hot cocoa.

"This is perfect.You seem to always know exactly what I need," I give her cheek a little pinch, eliciting a giggle and a genuine smile from her.

Over the next hour, I tell her all the things I have learned over the past day about the Manae and about myself.She nods and listens intently as I tick off the list of important things I have been told.

"Um, I think this is the part where I give you the box of note cards?" she cringes slightly.

"Box of notecards?"

"You've always said not to give it to you unless things are at ‘ critical mass’.I think we’re there," she frowns a little and gets up from the sofa.

I watch as she disappears into the depths of a closet, and comes out dragging a foot locker sized chest with her.She sets it down in front of me and waves at it.

"Well, there you go," she puts her hands on her hips, looking at the chest.

I look at the chest, not sure what to make of it.

There is no separation where it would hinge open.I run my finger across the edge, trying to figure out what to do.

"How do I open it?" I look up at Leticia, who looks slightly guilty.

"Blood magic," she mumbles.

"Blood magic? That doesn’t help me, Leticia.I don't know magic."

"You do.You just don't remember that you do.Extend your fangs, slice your finger, and let it bleed onto the chest until your wolf heals you."I look at her suspiciously.

She shrugs, "Hey, Kas.I won't lie to you.I mess with a lot of dark shit.Blood magic is not one of them.This was your idea.I just keep the trunk safe.Not that anyone could get into it except for you.You’ve been putting notes in there for centuries."

"She’s not trying to trick you, Kas,"

Lex finally chimes in, "I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier, but you have to understand my position.I have orders from our Mother.There is so much I would love to tell you but I just can’t."

"It’s okay, Lex.I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you, either.It just seems like the more I find out about my sisters and me, the more messed up being a goddess seems."

"Yeah, it’s not always a bed of roses.But on this one, you can trust Leticia.That trunk will keep you busy for a long time."

I let my cheeks blow out as I breathe out heavily, trying to decide what to do, "I’m not opening the trunk today, Leticia.Lex says it's going to keep me busy for a long time.I would rather spend my time right now speaking with you.

Besides, I probably have note cards to add to the trunk that I will bring with me next time."

Leticia smiles and slides back onto the sofa, "Okay.What’s on your mind?"

"Why does everyone else seem to remember all of their lives except for Bronx and me?"

"Ah, yeah.That is a good one,"

Leticia nods slowly, tucks her legs under her, and takes my hand, "Darling, every time you and Bronx are reincarnated, you both lose the memories of your previous lives.The rest of us do not.We remember everything.The good and the bad and trust me, there has been a lot...of both."

She pauses, choosing her next words carefully, "Thousands of years ago, Mother insisted it helps keep balance and prevents you two from being corrupted by dark forces.The kicker is, you guys are the most powerful of all the Manae and Guardians, but because you don’t have any previous memories, you just don’t know it.We're only allowed to call on you if there is a problem with our family that needs your intervention."

She pulls her hand away from me into her lap and twists her fingers together.

"What is it, Leticia? What’s wrong?" I brush her sparkly hair away from her face and tilt my head, trying to get her to look at me again.

"It’s not fair, Kas.We lose you every time you die.Even in the lives that you don’t get to know us.We have to sit back and watch.It hurts so bad.Like, especially in this life, when Katherine sent word that your old Alpha almost killed you.I couldn't take it anymore.I found that nurse and gave her money to buy you furniture, so at least you would have something nice in this lifetime.An-and I didn’t think Bronx was going to find you in time.I couldn’t let you die thinking you were a slave, and no one cared about you,"

Leticia sniffles as tears roll down her face, "I figured if one of your pack members bought the furniture, I wasn’t breaking any of Mother’s stupid rules."

"y-you gave Nurse Diane money for my furniture?" I ask, shocked at her admission.

I can feel a tear escaping my eye.

"Yeah.Diane Miller or Muller.Something like that.She was very nice to me.Good lady,"

Leticia confirms.

"She still is,"

I smile, thinking of my friend, "She’s a member of Blood River now.She just found her mate."

I look earnestly into Letica’s violet eyes.

They sparkle with a depth I may never fully understand, "Thank you, Leticia.Sincerely.I don’t think you will ever understand how much that gesture meant to me."

"you're welcome, darling,"

Leticia gently squeezes my hand, "Kas, everyone else gets to have their leader.

Everyone else gets to have that relationship forever, but we are outcasts.

Like we chose our abilities or something.

Well, we didn’t but I wouldn’t change it for the world.I’m proud of who I am and so are the rest of the Mavri Magea,"she wipes a tear away with her sleeve.

My mind churns trying to think of my next question, "I have more questions, if that’s alright?"

"Of course, I always have time for you," she grins.

I realize as we speak more that she is grateful to have an audience with me.It's something that must not happen often.

"So, you know how if the Guardians die, then so do their mates, right?"

"Yeah," she replies slowly.

"What happens if there are no leaders old enough to lead the Manae?"

"It’s never happened before.There was one time in the second century when only Cora was old enough.She was our Luna until Katherine was born and came of age.That wasn’t too bad.You're Cora's favorite, for obvious reasons, so usually leaves us alone,"

Letica shrugs at the memory.I feel like a bucket of ice water is being dumped over my head.I understand now.

It's going to take some time to wrap my head around it, but I understand.

"Leticia, how powerful is your magic? You said I have your powers, right? Can you teach me everything you know?"

Leticia’s eyes light up like a Solstice tree and a broad smile spreads across her face.She throws her head back and laughs in her sharp, high pitch cackle.I watch her as she stands on the sofa and howls at the top of her lungs, "Ladies and gentle wolves, SHE’S BACK! SHE'S FUCKING BACK!"