Forbidden Desire

Standing there, I watched as tears filled the woman’s eyes, her despair evident. Yet, I felt unmoved. She had a man any woman would want, yet she was cheating on him.

“This is none of my business,” I said firmly.

“Please, Jane! Listen to me! I’m not this monster you imagine,” she pleaded.

“I’m not imagining anything,” I retorted.

“Please don’t tell Jason anything. If he asks for a divorce on the grounds of betrayal, the company’s contract will be broken and my parents will disinherit me,” she implored, tears streaming down her face.

As she wept, I remembered Jason’s declaration of love earlier. Eunji stood nearby, hands in his pockets, his gaze fixed on the ground. He knew Jason and likely recognized the woman as his wife. The tension was palpable.

“Please, let’s talk! I’m begging you, Jane!” she begged, her grip tightening on my hand.

“I’m not going to say anything to Mr. Park. Not for you, but for him,” I said, thinking of Jason’s potential devastation. “The way he loves you, I don’t think he could bear it.”

“Yes! If it’s not for me, please do it for him!” she pleaded.

“No problem,” I conceded, attempting to walk away, but she caught my arm gently, seeking my attention.

“I still wanted to talk to you! Could you excuse us, please?” she asked, turning to Eunji, who smiled and looked to me for guidance. I nodded, and he left with a farewell.

“Alright then, see you tomorrow Jane! I’ll pick you up tomorrow!” he called before leaving.

“Thanks! See you tomorrow!” I responded, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He blushed and departed.

“Come on! We’ll walk home and talk in the garden,” she suggested.

Silent, I followed her, and once inside, we settled on a bench in the garden. I waited for her to speak.

“Go ahead,” I prompted.

“Jane, I know that from where you’re looking at the situation, it might seem like I’m the worst person in the world,” she began.

I raised my eyebrows in agreement.

“But, before I was forced to get married, I was a girl just like you, full of dreams, plans. I was very much in love with a man, a man I’d been dating for over three years, hiding from my parents because they forbade us from seeing each other since he wasn’t well-off,” she explained, her voice cracking with emotion.

As she recounted her story, tears welled in my eyes, feeling the weight of her pain.

“When my parents announced that I was getting married, they threatened to leave me with nothing if I didn’t. When I told the person I loved about the wedding, he said we would do anything to be together. He encouraged me and understood that I couldn’t renounce my inheritance. We never separated. I know you think the man I love is the other, but for me, he’s the only one,” she confessed.

Listening, I realized the depth of her struggle.

“You look at Jason and see a handsome man. I look at him and see the reason why I couldn’t fulfill my dreams. You see a kind personality and I see a man who knows I don’t love him and still won’t let me out of this marriage. Every minute I spend in this house is a minute lost when I could be happy with the person I love!” she cried.

“But Jason isn’t to blame for all this. And he loves you so much!” I interjected.

“Do you think I don’t know that? I know it’s not fair on him, but it’s not fair on me either! I had no choice! I know Jason is handsome, I know he loves me, I know all that, but when he says he loves me, I hate myself a little more for knowing that I’ll never be able to reciprocate that feeling. When he touches me…” she trailed off, shuddering at the thought.

“I feel like I’m being forced,” she admitted, burying her face in her hands and sobbing.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my heart aching for her.

“Look, I know that Jason deserves to be happy and that’s why I try to do everything I can to get him interested in another woman, a woman who loves him, who deserves his love. Then we can both get on with our lives and be happy. Only Jason can ask for a divorce without my family losing anything. If he asks for a divorce, then I can be free! I can be happy and so can he,” she explained.

“Do you think you could be that woman for him, Jane?” she asked suddenly.

Surprised by her question, I stood up from the bench.

“Me?” I questioned.

“Yes, you! You’re young, beautiful. Doesn’t he attract you?” she prodded.

I thought of his smile, and my heart fluttered.

“Mr. Park is very attractive, but he loves you, and I’m not going to get in the middle of that,” I stated firmly.

“Jane, Jason doesn’t love me. He hasn’t known love yet, he doesn’t know what it’s like to be truly loved, and he needs someone to show him what it means to feel complete,” she argued.

“I don’t want to get involved,” I insisted.

“Don’t you like him?” she pressed.

“That’s not the point. He wouldn’t even look at a girl like me…” I trailed off.

“Jane, you’re not a girl anymore, you’re a woman!” she insisted.

“Even so, he only has eyes for you,” I countered.

“Then make him look at you!” she urged.

“How?” I asked.

“I’ll create situations for you to spend more time together. I’ll ask him to take you to college more often, I’ll…” she began.

“No! Look, I’m not going to say anything to him because I’m just an employee and good employees don’t meddle in their bosses’ lives. But I’m not going to take part in his game! I’m not going to manipulate him or take part in any of your plans, he’s a man! He’s not a puppet that you pull the strings and do what you want. He has feelings, and I’m not going to play with that. Do what you want, but don’t include me in your plans because I won’t be part of it!” I asserted.

She nodded, her gaze wandering the garden as if lost.

“All right, I understand,” she conceded, wiping away her tears and rising from the bench.

“Anyway, thank you for understanding me and not telling him anything,” she said weakly, offering a small smile.

“I’m doing it for him,” I replied firmly.

“I know that, and I hope you never have to go through what I’m going through, because that’s the only way you’ll understand me,” she concluded before leaving.

As she departed, I followed suit, entering the kitchen where my aunt was preparing food. Despite the delicious aroma, my appetite had vanished.

“Hi, auntie,” I greeted.

“Hi, my daughter! I was getting worried! How was your first day at school?” she inquired.

“It was great. I loved the teacher. I made friends with Eunji, who took me home and even offered to pick me up tomorrow, so we could go to college together,” I replied.

“That’s great, my child. At least there’s someone happy in this house!” she remarked.

“Why is that? Are you sad?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m just a bit upset,” she admitted.

“Why?” I prodded.

“Seeing Mr. Park sad makes me sad too!” she confessed.

“Is he sad?” I asked, my heart squeezing at the thought.

“So much so that he didn’t even want to have dinner, he waited for Mrs. Park because he had bought her a piece of jewelry and even brought her flowers, but as usual she didn’t arrive to have dinner with him, and he ordered to collect everything without even touching the food,” she explained.

“Poor thing…” I murmured, imagining his sadness.

“Yes, that girl will one day realize what a foolish thing she’s doing. I just hope that when that day comes it’s not too late. Anyway, you must be hungry, right?” she redirected.

“Not really. I’m so tired that I just want to take a shower and go to sleep,” I replied honestly.

“So go on, my child, because tomorrow it starts all over again,” she reminded me.

“Really! Good night, auntie, sleep with God!” I bid her farewell.

“You too, my child!” she responded.

Retreating to my room, I opened my sketchbook and gazed at the drawing of his hands. I began a new sketch, capturing his smiling face. It was my attempt to hold onto the image of his happiness, to forget the sadness that engulfed him. Hours passed as I concentrated on the drawing, finding solace in the strokes of my pencil. Satisfied with the result, I smiled, knowing his smile would now be eternalized, if only in my drawing.

Grabbing a black silk nightgown, I headed to the bathroom for a long shower. Returning to my room, hunger gnawed at my stomach, prompting me to venture to the kitchen for a late-night snack. As I prepared noodles, the house was quiet, everyone asleep as expected. But then, a voice shattered the silence, sending shivers down my spine.

“Looks like I’m not the only one without sleep,” he said, startling me and causing me to burn myself.

“Ouch!” I exclaimed, dropping the lid to the floor.

Approaching, he assessed the burn on my arm with concern.

“Look, you’ve hurt yourself again, you need to be more careful, young lady,” he scolded gently.

His gaze softened, and he fetched a bag of ice from the fridge, applying it to the burn. I winced at the cold contact, feeling a slight moan escape my lips. His mischievous smile sent my sanity fleeing.

“Go on, sit down at the table and I’ll finish making your noodle!” he instructed, guiding me to a chair.

“No, you’re my boss!” I protested weakly.

Bending down, he leaned close, his husky voice sending shivers down my spine.

“Exactly, so I’m in charge! So sit still!” he commanded.

His proximity left me wobbly-legged, and he soon joined me at the table, noodles in hand.

“Done!” he announced.

“Thank you!” I replied gratefully.

We ate in silence, his gaze never leaving me, making me feel shy.

“What?” I asked, noticing his stare.

“It’s cute to see you trying to eat with chopsticks!” he teased.

Embarrassed, I hid my face in my hands.

“No! Don’t be embarrassed! It’s cute!” he reassured.

“But I’m embarrassed,” I admitted.

“Then I’ll teach you how to eat with chopsticks,” he offered.

Standing behind me, he guided my hand, his lips dangerously close to my ear. Despite his instructions, his presence overwhelmed me, and I struggled to focus.

“Did you understand?” he asked softly.

I nodded, feeling his warm breath on my neck.

“Good girl,” he whispered, sending shivers down my spine.

I shuddered, and he chuckled, returning his attention to his plate.

“We’d better get back to eating our noodles! Oh, and if any boy asks you to eat noodles, don’t accept!” he joked.

“Why not?” I inquired.

“Here in Korea, that’s the equivalent of ‘Shall we go home and watch Netflix?'” he explained, blushing slightly.

“What do you mean?” I pressed.

Laughing, he struggled to compose himself.

“It’s like an invitation to sex…” he admitted, chuckling nervously.

“Ah! Got it, but why noodles? Why not bibimbap or bulgogi?” I pondered.

He laughed, nearly choking on his food.

“You know, now that you’ve said it, really. What’s so erotic about noodles?” he mused.

Shrugging, we laughed like children. Finishing our meal, he insisted on doing the dishes while I dried them. Once done, we exchanged uncertain glances.

“Well, I’m going to try to sleep now, thanks for the noodles!” I announced.

Turning away, he called out to me.

“Jane?”

I turned back, meeting his gaze.

He seemed to search for words before retrieving a bowl of ice cream from the freezer, along with two spoons.

“Join me?” he asked, his eyes pleading.

Unable to resist his puppy-dog look, I nodded, and he smiled warmly. Leading me outside to the pool, he sat on the edge, dipping his feet in. I followed suit, enjoying the warm night breeze.

“Sometimes when I’m sad, I like to sit and look at the city,” he confessed, his gaze fixed on the skyline.

I joined him, finding comfort in the serene view.

He offered me a spoonful of ice cream, and I accepted, smiling as I savored the sweet treat. We shared the ice cream, alternating between feeding each other and enjoying the peaceful moment.

“How was your lesson?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“It was great! We were able to draw using realism, and I loved the teacher,” I replied.

“How nice! How did you get home?” he inquired.

“Eunji brought me,” I answered.

“If you want, I can take you back tomorrow!” he offered.

I wanted to accept eagerly, but I hesitated, wary of Jinhee’s schemes.

“You don’t have to! Eunji will pick me up, so we can go together,” I declined.

“He must have really liked you,” he observed.

“Why do you say that?” I questioned.

“Because he lives a long way from here,” he explained.

“Really? I thought he lived nearby!” I remarked.

“No! And if he’s making this effort, it’s because he’s interested in you!” he deduced.

“Well, I’m not interested in him,” I stated firmly.

He smiled, his gaze lingering on my lips for a moment.

“Yeah? And who are you interested in?” he teased.