Finding Forgiveness

“And if he does?” I asked.

“We’ll kill him,” Max said, “Right, Alpha?”

Leo swallowed and nodded, “Yes.”

I watched as Leo slunk down in a chair next to where Luciano lay. He stared at him for a few seconds before resting his chin on his hand.

“Why didn’t you make sure he was dead in the first place?” I questioned, “Save us the trouble?”

“The moment I did this was the same moment I learnt Martinez knew where the vault is,” he snapped, “I was more concerned about you and the kids than bringing my self to finally kill someone who used to be a best friend to me. I hate him wholeheartedly and I know his evil has to be stopped. And he will be killed… but I can’t just do it like it means nothing, okay?”

I sighed and stepped behind Leo, resting my hands on his shoulders. He seemed to release a deep breath as he rested his hand on top of mine.

“I understand,” I said, kissing his cheek.

“Max, would you take him to the pack prison? Make sure he’s chained and guarded at all times,” Leo said, “Ella and I will clean up this mess. Hopefully, before the kids wake up.”

Max nodded and heaved Luciano off the table. Leo had to help him carry the huge mass of unconscious man to his car before he drove off, leaving us to scrub, mop, wipe and disinfect the entire kitchen.

“Are you okay, Leo?” I asked as he rinsed out the cloth for the final time after wiping up the last smear of Luciano’s blood.

He’d been quiet for a while and seemed so exhausted and down.

“I saw hundreds of good men die last night,” he said, “Luca is in the ICU and now all of this with Luciano. I know I should be happy that Martinez is finally dead but…”

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel all the grief, loss and anxiety too, Leo,” I said, “You may be an Alpha but you shouldn’t feel guilty for your human half having feelings.”

He rested his hands on my hips and took yet another deep breath, “I’ve learnt a lot about feelings recently,” he said, “Sometimes I wish I was 100% wolf. Sometimes I feel like I’d rather not have feelings. But then I remember how important it is to feel guilt… and remorse… because without it you don’t take responsibility for your actions and make it your mission to learn from them.”

I gave a half-smile, “You’re referring to what happened with Connor?”

Since the day Leo killed Connor months ago, we hadn’t talked much about it. It was too painful and with so much else going on, I couldn’t take it.

I took a sharp breath in and clasped my hands together.

“We have to talk about this at some point,” he said, “We can’t just pretend it never happened.”

“We agreed to go back to normal,” I replied, “Before Andrea reappeared, we had gone back to normal.”

He shook his head, “No we hadn’t,” he said, “Nothing was normal. Not whilst Andrea Martinez was still roaming around. But now he is dead and everything is over, we have the chance to go back to our lives. But we can’t with this massive elephant in the room. If we just carry on like this it will always just loom over us, casting a shadow on our happiness… so please… I know it’s been a long night but tell me how you feel.”

Forgiveness: the act of releasing resentment and anger towards someone who has wronged you.

Leo certainly wronged me by taking Connor from me. His reasons to protect me and his people may have been valid but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel an intense amount of resentment and anger towards him.

But the longer I held onto those negative feelings, the longer they held me back from healing.

I missed Connor dearly and I always will. And some part of me still denied that he was gone because with everything that had been going on, I’d been able to distract myself and avoid accepting the painful truth.

But Leo was right. This was our chance.

My chance to make peace with the pain he caused me, let it go and be happy again with the man I love.

And I was so ready. So very ready.

“I forgive you, Leo,” I said, “There’ll be no shadow on our happiness. Nothing is going to stop us from living out the rest of our lives together peacefully and joyfully. After everything, we deserve it. And I deserve to let myself heal.”

He smiled and wrapped his arms gently around me, guiding my head to his chest.

“I love you so much, Ella Jones,” he said, “We won’t ever forget Connor or what I did. But it’s healing and happiness from now on. For both you and the pack.”

I nodded and stood on my tiptoes to reach his lips, “I love you too,” I whispered before I kissed him, placing my hand behind his neck and pulling him close to me.

Just then, Leo’s phone buzzed.

“It’s Blair,” he said, “Oh thank the Goddesses,” he said as a relieved smile came onto his face, “Luca’s woken up and triggered the healing process. He’s going to be fine.”

I let out a deep sigh as I looked up and thanked whoever was up there.

“That little shit has caused me a lot of hassle through the years but I love him,” Leo continued, “We’ll go and visit him later, yes?”

I nodded before a wide smile crept onto my face and I cupped his cheeks in my hands and kissed him again, this time for longer and deeper.

Just as he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to his chest, a small voice came from the hallway.

“Eww, Mama and Papa are kissing!” Cato exclaimed just as Silas appeared next to him.

“That’s so gross,” Silas said, wrinkling his little nose.

Leo and I laughed before our sons ran towards us and jumped into our arms.

“You’re both home,” Cato said, hugging Leo, “And Daddy smells sweaty but I’m glad he’s okay,” he added looking to me, “You smell quite sweaty too actually.”

I rolled my eyes and tickled his tummy.

“I think we all need a bath after last night,” I said, “Even you, you little rascal.”

He giggled and squirmed until I gave him mercy from my tickles to hug Silas tighter.

“And then once you’re all clean and you’ve had something to eat, I need to talk to you in my office, Cato,” Leo said, still holding his eldest son, “You’re growing up and we need to talk about what happened last night. I can tell you have a lot of questions.”

Cato nodded, “It’s our office now, Dad,” he said.

Leo smiled, “Fine. In our office.”

A few hours later, Leo and I walked hand in hand through the hospital until we reached the room labelled ‘Luca Romano’.

He grinned widely as he saw us through the window and started wiggling his legs like an excited child.

Seeing the colour was back in his cheeks and his eyes with their sparkle again was such a huge relief.

“Ella!” He exclaimed, “Alpha! I knew you two wouldn’t be able to stay away for long.”

“I brought you these,” I said reaching into my bag and pulling out a bunch of bananas.

His eyes lit up in glee, “Are those Musa sapientum bananas?”

I nodded, “Only the best for you.”