Find Me Alastar

I smile broadly.

Vanessa walks back into the lounge room, she is wearing a black nighty with a huge gold glitter Hello

Kitty on the front. I smile when I see her attire.

She smirks when she sees my old man checked pajamas. “Fuck. We need a makeover, don’t we?”

I nod as I make my way to the kitchen. “Coffee?” I call.

“Speak for yourself,” Hank snorts.

“Yes, please,” they both call.

“I wear these boxers for a reason.” “And what is that?” Vanessa asks.

“Tiger pants is code for me being a tiger in the bedroom.”

I giggle and pop my head around the corner to see her face. Vanessa looks at me in horror. “When are

you a frigging tiger in the bedroom?”

He shrugs. “I will be… when I meet the right girl.”

My mouth drops open.

“Don’t tell me.” Vanessa frowns.

“Shut up.” Hank turns back to watching his cartoon shows.

I walk back into the lounge room. “Are you a virgin, Hank?”

“I’m not listening to you,” he replies.

I bite my lip to hold back my smile and Vanessa covers her mouth with her hands.

“What?” she mouths at me in horror.

I shrug. “I don’t know?” I mouth back.

She sits down on the lounger next to where he lays on the floor. “We need to rectify this situation,” she

replies.

He shrugs. “Tell me something I don’t know. I have been trying to rectify it since I was fourteen.”

I laugh out loud. “Oh my God, Hank. What are you doing? You are wasting away.”

“I am not discussing my sexual status with you two busy bodies,” he snaps.

Vanessa puts her hands on her cheeks in horror and widens her eyes at me.

“How has this happened?” I ask. “I don’t know any virgins.”

He shrugs. “When I was at school, I wasn’t really into girls. Then it got to now and I’m too late to the

party. Who wants to date a biochem virgin?”

“Holy shit! We are so getting you laid, Hank,” Vanessa cries. “This is abysmal.”

I laugh and high five Vanessa as I walk back into the kitchen. “Can I take you two out for lunch

today?” I ask.

“What for?” They both call.

“For letting me stay with you, and I want you to meet my friend Brielle.”

“I have no money,” Hank replies flatly.

“I’m paying,” I call out.

“I’m in.”

“Me, too,” They both chime with renewed excitement.

I smile as I make the coffee. “And that will be good, Vanessa, because we can start our planning.”

“Planning what?” Hank calls.

“Operation Hump Hank,” I call as I pour the milk into the cups.

“Oh, fuck off,” he groans.

“Yessss.” Vanessa giggles. “From now on you are our project. You wear what we say. You do what

we say. Basically, you are our bitch.”

“Oh God. What’s fucking new?” he groans and I laugh.

“We will have girls lining up for you,” Vanessa teases as she pushes his hair to the side of his

forehead to try and work out a new hairstyle.

He swats her away and I hand him his coffee. “Don’t touch my hair,” he mumbles.

She smiles as she takes her coffee from me. “Extreme Hank makeover, coming right up.”

The thing I hate about being the new girl is basically everything about being the new girl. What do I do?

Where do I go? Who do I talk to? Am I even allowed to talk? I stand nervously at reception in Chesters

Auction House on my first day of work as the receptionist buzzes someone from the offices.

“Emerson Mathews is here.” She fakes a smile and I see her eyes scan me up and down. I don’t like

this already. My eyes nervously cast down to take a look at myself in the mirrors on the lift doors. I bought

this suit from home. I’m in a navy knee high skirt and blazer with an ice pink cotton shirt underneath. I

even wore stockings. It’s a special day. I hope they wear this sort of stuff here.

“Send her up,” the bored voice replies through the monitor.