Find Me Alastar

His eyes fill with tears this time and I run my hand through his stubble as I stare into his beautiful face.

He pulls me into an embrace and we stay in each other’s arms for an extended time and my chest starts

to wrack with tears.

He shakes his head angrily. “No.” He stands. “No. I’m not letting you go.”

“You have no choice.” I stand with renewed purpose. “The decision has been made.”

“By you.” he snaps.

I nod. “Yes.”

His eyes ignite with fury. “Why do you think I came back for Emmaline?”

I frown. “Because you couldn’t stay away,” I whisper.

He shakes his head. “No.”

I frown.

“I made a conscious decision to come back.”

I frown.

“I came to the realization. What point is life if you are constantly scared of dying?”

My eyes hold his.

“I don’t care how long you have. I only know that you are the reason I live.”

His bottom lip quivers. “And I will take any time I can have with you. Every day is a gift,” his voice

cracks betraying his hurt.

“Alastar, I won’t put you through this.” I shake my head. “This is my choice. Fate has stepped in and

handed me that letter. I was supposed to know this. I am supposed to act on this.”

“And what about Ester?” he yells, infuriated.

I frown and step back as my heart free falls from my chest.

“You are supposed to give birth to her. You have been drawing her for eight weeks. The wee child

with the ringlets in your notepad is our daughter Ester.” He shakes his head in an outrage. “Why did she

come to you if she was never meant to be born?”

I stare at him through my tears. “Ester needs her mother for more life than one. She will return to us

next life,” I whisper through the lump in throat.

“What if you break it completely and we remember nothing?” he yells in a panic. “What if I never find

you again?”

I screw up my face in pain. This had crossed my mind, too. “Then I will have peace knowing you are

not anxious all the time, that you are not suffering and dreading the future.”

“Do not use me as an excuse.”

I stare at him and I kiss him softly on his lips, tasting my own salty tears. “Twinkle, I love you.”

His tortured eyes hold mine. “No, Em. Don’t do this. Please. I beg.” The tears run freely down his

face.

I hold his cheeks in my hands as I try to calm him down, even though my heart is completely breaking.

“Alastar, listen to me,” I whisper.

He shakes his head, too distraught to function. I bring his eyes to meet mine.

“Not all fairy tales have happy endings, Twinkle.” I kiss him softly on the lips. “But all fairy tales

have a hero and this time, it’s me,” I whisper sadly.

“Em,” he whispers.

“I love you.” I sob. “The next life is ours.”

He holds me tight for an extended time.

“Find me, Alastar,” I whisper through my pain. “Because of us, find me.”

“Can I get you a drink or anything?” the stewardess asks.

“I stare out the small round airplane window as I see London disappear beneath me, and I turn to her

in slow motion. “Can I have a vodka, lime and soda please?” I ask flatly.

She smiles warmly. “Of course, dear.” She disappears up the airplane aisle.

I have never felt so distraught. I came to London because I wanted to learn about history.

I guess I got the full package with optional extras.

The sound of the engine drowns out the sound of my heart sobbing and I stare into the clouds as we fly.

I don’t feel like a hero.

With every mile that we fly farther away from my love, a part of me dies.

He will find me in our next life.

I know he will.

Because of Us.

He has to.