Filthy Beautiful Lust (Filthy Beautiful Lies, #3)

PaceI’m amazed to be here, sharing this moment with Kylie and her son. It’s something so normal – having lunch – yet it feels like so much more. Her eyes stay glued to me as I move around the kitchen, helping clean off Max’s hands and dumping the remnants of his tray of food into the trash.

After lunch, Kylie lays Max down in his crib for a nap, and then rejoins me in the living room. She begins picking up toys and tossing them into a basket beside the couch. I get the sense she doesn’t often have downtime – time just for herself – time to be a woman and not just a mom. It’s strange how being near her makes me think of things I’ve never before considered.

“Come sit down for a bit,” I encourage, patting the seat next to me.

She does, falling back into the plush sofa with a soft sigh. “I love him, but God, he’s exhausting,” she laughs.

“He’s great,” I say.

Her eyes slide over to mine and she studies me quietly, her face suddenly serious.

Today hasn’t been about romance. We weren’t trying to impress one another, well, maybe I was trying a little – showing up here with that pool, but I wonder if all of this – the slow start, the conversation, the getting to know someone, is the key to it all. Talking, building a friendship first, having it lead to something on a deeper level than I’ve ever operated at before. I’ve never approached a relationship with a woman like this before. And it feels so entirely different, I’m beside myself for what comes next.

It’s been interesting seeing her in her space all day. Unlike my tidy and sparse condo, her house actually feels like a home. It feels lived in and alive. There are candid photographs on the walls and decorating the shelves and mantle. Selfies with her and Max, or just Max alone, because she’s the one behind the camera. There are no happy family portraits, just a beautiful girl who doesn’t understand her worth, and her baby son.

“So what’s a swinging single man like you doing on a play date on a Saturday?” she asks.

“Swinging, huh?” I lift an eyebrow, watching her.

“Swinging.”

“You have heard the stories, huh?”

“Sure have.”

“I’m going to kill Colton,” I say.

“I figured, but seriously, nothing better to do today than play with a one year old?”

“You know why I’m here, Kylie.” At least she should.

“Enlighten me.”

“The playdate with Max was a rouse. I’m actually kind of digging his mom.”

She laughs, her eyes not straying from mine.

“That wasn’t obvious? I figured I had no game and you were on to me.”

“Is that what all this is to you? A game?” she asks, her voice suddenly going serious.

“Of course not.” This is the most real experience I’ve had in a long time.

“You make me nervous, Pace. You make me want things I didn’t think I could have.”

“Same here,” I answer.

“Explain.”

“Being here today, this is all new for me. I’m just as much out of my element as you are.”

“I doubt that,” she challenges, her voice steady.

“Hanging out with a woman and her child? It’s something I’ve never done, never wanted to do before…but you make me want to try something new. I’ll be the first to admit, sex is all I know. It’s been my way of life for the past…” I do a quick mental calculation… “Twelve years.” From seducing my high school chemistry teacher to fucking the housekeeper, to sleeping my way through the LA singles scene for the fun of it. It was the only thing I was good at. I’ve always been the fun one – the guy you called for a good time. Yet now, in the face of this gorgeous woman, it all seemed fucking pointless. Had I even derived any pleasure from it? “Maybe I’m getting tired of the same-old, same-old,” I tell her. I pause, watching her reaction. Kylie is closely watching me, breathing softly through parted lips, but she’s quiet and still.

“I can’t take a chance on maybes and somedays. I have too much at stake, too much to lose to gamble like that.”

“If you were any other woman, I’d be balls deep inside of you by now. Trust me, I can be different, you make me feel different.”

Her cheeks flush pink and her pulse thrums at the side of her neck.

“Does that make you nervous?”

She nods. “Y-yes.”

“Why?” I don’t know if we’re talking about the sex, or the fact that I want to stick around.

“There’s been no one since Elan,” she says.

She’s been with no one since…nine months of pregnancy and now Max is thirteen months old… Nearly two years. Damn. That’s a long ass time to be celibate. Way too long.

“Don’t you miss it?” I ask.

“It? Meaning cock?” Her mouth lifts in a sassy grin.

“Among other things. Intimacy is what I was referring to.”

“And what does a man like you know of intimacy?”

She hasn’t answered my question, yet hers is spot on, stripping me bare, making me look inside at the man I am and examining him in the harsh light. There is nothing intimate about a quick fuck in a bathroom stall at a nightclub with a girl whose name and face I won’t remember in the morning. Even if I don’t like examining my past in her presence, I love her ability to challenge me.

“I know that I haven’t spent this much time talking, getting to know a woman in a long, long time,” I say.

I lift her hand from where it rests on the couch between us. I know we both feel this pull –this tug of sexual awareness and energy and desire. It permeates the air around us, drawing me to her.

“Tell me what you need,” I ask, lacing my fingers with her. The simple act of holding her hand makes my blood pump faster.