FATED BOND

Damien’s POV

I was unhappy when I was asked to go to Shenyang University to study software engineering, unlike my former decision to stay in one of the Universities in America or England.

At first, I was mad at mom for not making me have a say in what institution to go to. But then, I realized she was doing that, not because she wanted me far from her but because she wanted me to feel the fatherly love she claimed she had deprived me of.

The anger I felt initially was intense. I guess I was mad at her because it was unexpected and it gave me a short time to prepare. I couldn’t even say goodbye to anyone, not even Daisy. I fucking missed her. And I’ve never met any lady like her.

She was just so unique and different.

The memories of our two nights together were still there. I remember occasionally and smile.

Even without seeing her, thinking of her alone arouses me. I tried to let go of her since we were worlds apart, but it was so difficult. The thoughts that she might be out of New York to go schooling in Oxford like she had told me and getting a man to have sex with her whenever she needs it, turns me off and made it easy to let go.

She was no longer a virgin. She would look for a lover to attend to her needs. That was how they all behaved. All the girls I’ve been with were once a virgin but when that cherry is broken, they become wild. I still hoped that my Daisy will remain different till the end. I know there was no future for us but I still wish she was different and unique, so I could cherish the moments we spent together forever.

Dad was a great man indeed and I could see the reason why mom fell in love with him at first sight. Even in his early 40’s, he was still good-looking and there was a bit of resemblance between us. We share secrets, promising each other never to disclose them, especially not to his wife or my mom.

That was a brotherly code I was already used to. It was a common thing in high school. Dad’s personality was great. He was a cool mam and he was kind. It was easy to get along with him well and he was such a funny man. Initially, I couldn’t believe he was my father. We chatted like agemates when he came to pick me up at the airport in China. He was also looking very young to be my father.

His wife on the other hand was not educated but she was down to earth. She tried to speak English to me as much as she could but I found it very hard to comprehend.

She made sweets for me and rice balls the first time I visited. She welcomed me well and I was shocked to know that she already knows of my existence.

She was a good mother indeed and I wondered why dad still doesn’t love her after all these years. Dad confessed to me but I figured that out, even before he told me.

Their relationship was more of a father-mother relationship instead of a husband-wife relationship. Their kids were oblivious to what was happening between their parents but I was quick to notice the tension and disagreement between them, probably because I was older.

Their marriage was a loveless one and I made a vow not to venture into a loveless marriage like theirs or force my children to go into a loveless marriage. I could see how they were both suffering and enduring for their kids.

I could see the sadness in dad’s eyes and the unhappiness in Lakshmi’s eyes. There was always a faraway look in her eyes. I wonder why they both ventured into marriage when it was obvious they both didn’t want it. Their hearts belonged to someone else. I know dad was still in love with my mom while Lakshmi was involved with someone else.

That was the second time I would visit their home. Dad and I planned to go somewhere quiet in China for the holiday but a day before, he got a call from home and we had to book a flight to India before the end of the day.

We got to India the next day and dad and Lakshmi went out. Dad didn’t disclose where they went. He claimed it was an emergency meeting but I knew it was a family sort of meeting. Lakshmi was crying when they came back but I pretended not to see her.

By the next morning, she was back to herself. I was curious to know what was happening but I couldn’t ask dad. I know he was going to tell me when he was ready to. I made a friend on my first visit to India. Her name was Didi and she reminded me of Daisy.

Didi was also educated and was schooling at the University of India. She looked naive but was experienced. Whenever I look at her, I always see the image of my innocent, beautiful Daisy and I wished I could see her again and if possible, make love to her so she could scream out my name to drive me to the edge. But that was impossible.

I compared the two girls together and tried to pinpoint the difference between them. It wasn’t long before I figured the difference out. Didi was like the rest of the girls but Daisy wasn’t.

Didi tried to kiss me and I could remember hearing Daisy asking me if I had ever kissed or been kissed. I gave in to Didi, visualizing it was Daisy but we got interrupted when her mother called her. We didn’t have time to continue our kissing session like she promised before I left for China again.

My birthday and that of Yashmi’s was the next day and that was what was stopping dad and I from returning to China since the so-called emergency meeting was over. I was bored being alone with an unusually quiet dad so I decided to give my mom a call.

Lakshmi and the girls had gone out to shop for the next day.

Mom barely calls again as she used to when I first got to China. Maybe she has started dating again, I thought. Because it was obvious she was deriving joy from something else.

Or something was distracting her. I felt jealous that my love was being shared but I quickly waved it away. I could feel the happiness in her voice and I felt happy too.

Mom was always serious and she rarely jokes but she was becoming amusing every day and I found that beautiful.

Mom has finally decided to give love a chance, I concluded. I was hoping the love will last because she truly deserves it. Not because she was my mother but because she was Nina Gomez. The woman of great patience and a woman with a heart of gold. I was more than proud to call her my mother.

When mom asked for dad, I called him and I saw his face lit up when I told him it was mom. When he asked me to excuse him, I left the house. When I was out, I saw Didi coming towards the house and I smiled. I walked up to meet her. Her English wasn’t too posh but it was better than Lakshmi’s.

“You couldn’t even call to inform me of your presence in India”, she looked hurt.

“I’m sorry”, I apologized with my killer smile.

“Sorry, indeed. Lati just told me.”

“I was just about to come to look for you”, I lied.

“Really? Are you really telling the truth?” She asked with doubts.

“Of course.”

“Ok”, she finally smiled. “When are you going back to China?” She asked and held my hands as we walked back up to the front door.

“Tomorrow is Yashmi’s birthday so it depends on dad, probably the day after Yashmi’s birthday”, I replied. I didn’t bother to tell her the next day was also my birthday.

“Oh!” She said and smiled at me once again as we both sat down on the porch.

“So you said the other day that your mom is American?”

“Yes, she is.”

“And a writer?”

“Yes. Nina Gomez.”

“Nina Gomez”, she repeated like the name rings a bell.

“You haven’t come across the name before?”I asked her.

“It sounds familiar. But why is she, Gomez? That sounds like a Mexican name.”

“Her dad is from the Phillipines and her mom is American.”

“I thought as much. It doesn’t sound American.”

“Yeah.”

“So how old are you?”

“I’m going to be 23 years old soon”, I answered her.

“Oh! I’m 21”, she told me back without me asking.

“Are you a virgin?” I blurted out. She was shocked but I wanted to know. Ever since my encounter with Daisy, my taste in women changed. If I ever want to go into a serious relationship, then it has to be with a decent girl. Someone like Daisy. Innocent, kind, humble, not a spoiled brat like my ex, Vivian.

“No, I am not”, she replied honestly and I nodded. I expected that. It was obvious from the way she grabbed me and initiated the kiss the first time I visited India. She intended to put me in the mood, so I can have sex with her. I was used to that…. girls trying to seduce me, into sleeping with them, except Daisy.

“My first boyfriend raped me”, she said, jerking me out of my thoughts.

“What the hell!”I cursed. “Who the hell is he?”I asked angrily and she chuckled.

“Who do you know here? No one.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Why did he have to force himself on you when you didn’t want it?” I asked her.

My subconscious replied, “The same way you forced yourself on Daisy. She didn’t want to have sex but you wouldn’t listen until you were satisfied.”

“But we both enjoyed it”, I defended myself out aloud, without knowing.

“You enjoyed what?”She questioned, looking at me with suspicion.

“I mean did you enjoy it?”

She didn’t look convinced. “It was a rape, Damien. I’ve loved sex ever since then”, she confessed and I was surprised at her bluntness. “Do you have a girlfriend, Damien?”

“No. You?”

She grinned. “That makes us the same.”

I smiled back at her and she stood up abruptly. “Let’s go into my house, no one is home.”

I know what she meant by that but I was reluctant. I was really not in the mood but after a while, looking at her baby face that looked like someone from the past, I felt myself getting hard.

“Let me get my phone from dad”, I told her and stood up too. She nodded and smiled. I turned back into the house. When I got inside the house, I heard dad yell and I was taken back. Why is he yelling at my mom?”

Having spent 23 years of my life with her, I’ve always known her to be as calm as a dove. She only gets angry when pushed to the wall. I felt angry at dad for no reason as I entered the room to request my phone. I entered the room and was surprised to see him in tears, breathing heavily.

I didn’t know what mom said from the other side but I was shocked to hear dad saying, “Nina Gomez, fuck you too” before he broke down into tears completely.