Chapter 36: 36 - Worse
Chapter 36: 36 - Worse
I carry Ana downstairs to see Chris feeding Carol pancakes and I have not seen either of them look
happier in a long time. Grey doesn't look as pale and seems to have gained some colour again. He is
laughing at her silly antics.
"Who wants to go for some ice creams?" I ask. Chris looks at me, smile slowly fading off his face.
Both the girls squeal and jump.
"Ana won't go." He states.
"But daddy.... " She whines.
"Ana will go." I retort. "She has been having a bad day. Ice creams will cheer her up." I add more
gently.
For a second, I think, Grey's going to get into a fight again, but then he slumps back down in his chair,
like he doesn't even have the energy to fight anymore.
"Ana can go if she wants, without her daddy." He says, almost expecting Ana to go.
Ana gets down from my arms and runs to hug her daddy.
"I don't want to go anymore." She mutters close to his chest. Carol looks crest fallen.
"Grey, I am sorry." I tell him. He looks up at me, from Ana's hair.
"Thank you for all that you have done for Ana and me. Please leave now."
He says gently. I feel like I have been punched in the gut. I hold Carol's hand and help her get up and
then we leave.
We walk back home in tears and sulk all day, the both of us. Later in the evening I see Ana and Chris
walking back home. Ana has balloons and was eating an ice cream but did not look half as happy as
she was with us together in the morning. Grey looks ill.
I look at Carol, slumped on the dining table. I decide to go back to his place and confront him. This
cannot go on. All four of us are perishing without each other.
I ask Carol to go watch TV for a bit while I come from Grey's. She nods trying not to smile.
I knock on his door. He opens it, and gives me a quizzical look. Ana is almost asleep in his arms and I
don't want to speak lest my voice wakes her up.
He walks back in, leaving the door open so I walk in. He goes upstairs to put Ana to bed.
He comes back.
"What do you want?" He asks me like he means business, with both the littles nor around, this is
different.
"I am sorry." I tell him.
"It's okay. I forgive you." He says and then stares at me, as if waiting for me to leave.
"Why are you being such a jackass. It's not like you were not at fault!" I tell him, slightly angry.
He stares at me for a good minute like he wants to kill me and then sighs. Anger gives way to regret,
pain.
"Listen Jay, I am sorry. I really am and I told you that more times than I can count. Actions have
consequences. I have suffered the consequences of my actions, and now I don't want to anymore."
I remain silent and let him get it all out.
"It's been so difficult.... more than you can even fathom. I did not realise I was so dependent on you
and Carol. Life's not the same.... but it's getting a little in control every day. We will manage… Ana and
I, like we did for the past weeks. Go away, please." He looks like he will cry. I want to cry too.
"Carol and I need Ana and you too. It's not about you. It's about me." I tell him.
"I don't care, okay?! I DON'T FUCKING CARE! YOU WERE NOT HERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE
MOST! GO AWAY!" He hollers.
I just look at man I have made of a wonderful Vampire. He is hurting so bad and it's all my fault.
He starts crying. "Ana fell sick without you and Carol. I couldn't even go to the doctor to get the stitches
for I did not know what to do with Ana. I was so ashamed of how I acted. I was scared of getting mad at
Ana."
"I begged you to come back.... I fell sick and we were just barely able to take care of each other. We
did not know what was where in the house. I could not go to work. I quit. And you did not bother. You
did not let even Carol come by. We have been from hell and back.... Don't. Just don't. Go away Jay. We
don't need you anymore. We have learned to live without you." He tells me.
"Please Christian, I am sorry. Give me one chance to make it up to you.... Carol.... I.... I know nothing I
say right now will be enough. But I love you. I love Ana. Don't do this to all of us. I was hurting too. You
accused me of Raping Ana, how'd you expect me to react?" I groan, frustrated.
"Go away Jay. You cannot come and go in and out of lives as you please. We needed you more than
you need me. Us. You have shown that and we get the message loud and clear. I mean you look
around and you know how scattered our lives are. But we are picking up the pieces, one by one."
I leave quietly.