CHAPTER 14 - CAROLANA
CHAPTER 14 - CAROLANA
It's been twenty-four hours since we have been back and Ana refuses to move from her crib. She
hasn't eaten or drunk anything. I don't have the heart to force her into anything right now but I am so
worried about her. Jay is sitting with me in my living room, Carol on his laps, playing with her dolls.
"Daddy, is Ana awake yet?" Carol asks for the sixth time in the last hour.
"I don't think she is baby. Even if she was, I don't think she would like to play. "Jay tells her.
"Carol, Hon, maybe you can go, wake her up and you can have some ice creams together?" I suggest.
"That's a great idea!" Jay says and I go to make two bowls of lots of ice creams.
"What happened daddy, Ana sick?" Carol asks.
"She had to ...."
I interrupted Jay. "She is fine now."
She goes upstairs and I pray that Ana has the ice creams.
When Carol came back, she was mad at us. She threw tantrums and her toys at us. Ana, simply
withdrew. It's very difficult to get to her when she doesn't want to.
It's been five minutes and Carol isn't back yet. Isn't that a good sign?
"What do you think is happening up there?" Jay asks me.
"I don't want to know. But she hasn't come down yet. Maybe that's good?" I offer?
He nods. We both know that might not be the case and only be our wishful thinking.
After another five minutes, we sneak upstairs to Ana's nursery and see both Ana and Carol on her crib,
eating ice creams. I want to cry tears of relief. There is a small tool that helped Carol get on to the crib.
We see her get down from the crib with its help and then help Ana. I want to go inside and hold her, but
Jay puts a hand on my shoulders effectively stopping me.
"You want to paint?" Carol asks Niana.
"I hungwie." She says.
She has regressed further into her headspace.
"Let's ask your daddy for some food."
She says and pulls Ana, but Ana stops her.
"No hungwie." she pouts.
She doesn't want to come to me.
"Let's go ask my daddy for some food?" Carol offers.
"Not hungwie." She says and sits criss-cross apple sauce on the carpet.
Jay gestures me to wait and then goes downstairs.
Ana lies down on the carpet, Carol follows.
"My tummy hurts." She says.
"I know. They are so nasty. The docs, I hate the place. I hate Mr. G. I hate the smell." Carol rants.
Ana nods. "I want to go back home...."
"Ana, this is home."
"No, my home, back in the city where I belong."
"Ana, our daddies may do some things some times that we absolutely hate, but they love us. You know
that. Why do you want to go back to the abusive couple in the orphanage? "
Orphanage? Ana is an orphan? And who abused her?! I will fucking kill them tonight. I seethe in anger.
Ana remains quiet.
"Daddy let them do all that." She says, teary-eyed.
"He did not have a choice. My daddy did the same. Every daddy or mommy has to do that. Uncle
Christian is really nice. He won't hurt you on purpose." She tells her.
Carol is such a sweetheart.
Ana makes a face.
"I hated both our daddies when I came back from the doctors. I understand that you do too." She says
trying to go back on Ana's side again.
Soon both of them are asleep.
I know I shouldn't have eavesdropped but whatever.
Jay comes back with two bottles. I pick Ana up and change her diaper and feed her the bottle.
Jay does the same for Carol.
Thankfully, Ana doesn't wake up when I change her and apply the cream on her butt.