Chapter 73
Gonzalo
POV
I've been worried about Kassie since she left. I felt tired and weak, but I could also feel her hurt and anger when she left a lot clearer than before since I bear her mark. Something I hadn't realized I was feeling until her anger pushed through my own emotions. I wanted to go after her, but Nat came in and asked me what was going on and I've now spent 3 hours being chastised by my family about what an i***t I was to even suggest she didn't want to mark me and proceeded to tell me everything that happened after I passed out. When she didn't answer or return any of our phone calls and texts, I was determined to go find her, but it had only been 9 hours since I bled out at the lab. I got dizzy and didn't manage to get very far before they threatened to tie me down if I didn't get back in bed. I was so relieved to see her walk back into our room, but now...I am man enough to admit I'm scared of what she has to say.
We will eat our medicine and then beg her for forgiveness. - Dario said. He had been worried about how she felt about marking us when he hadn't been able to heal me as much as I needed. Neither of us felt worthy. Despite his exhaustion, he'd had his ears down and tail between his legs in the back of my head since we realized we'd royally f****d up.
Speaking of royal, are we vampire royalty now? I've never heard of a wolf being marked by a vampire. Do we get any cool gifts? - He asked as he followed my thought process.
I don't know. How about we focus on remaining her Beloved first - I told him as we watched Kassie pacing the room in silence.
Right, not the time. Sorry - He said as we felt her anger mounting.
"You..." She said angrily before she took another step. "I forgave you when you pushed me away when I got here. I forgave you because I knew you didn't know the whole story. You have no idea what I felt. How much it hurt, to see you brush me off and push me away when all I wanted was a chance. Just a once chance to explain. One chance to love you," she said as her eyes teared up. She swept the rug from under me at her words. I know I've hurt her and I know it took a big person to forgive me as easily as she did. Now I've f****d up again and I was about to find out just how shitty a mate I was. "When you told me, you were ready to listen, I thought you had finally understood what you meant to me. This whole time, I have done everything in my power to make you see what you mean to me. I was patient when you wanted to take it slow and get to know each other. I was patient when you didn't want to mark me right away before Celeste warned us why."
"Kassie-" I tried.
"No, Gonzalo. You give lots of pretty speeches. Now it's time to hear a hard one," she said with a hard look on her face.
"You broke my heart." She said as she angrily wiped a tear from her eyes angrily. Dario howled in my head. I wish he would stop. It made it hard not to break down and cry myself. "I have given you everything I have. I never discussed marking you as my Beloved because I have nothing to offer you. I am broken. I am disgraced. You gain nothing from being bound to me except a world of vampires who will look at you with contempt." She looked away from me then and paced the other way. I wanted to go to her, but I knew better than to stop her halfway. She needed to get this out. I needed to listen. "The only thing I will ever regret, about marking you, is the fact that I took that choice from you. But never in my wildest dream, did I think I would have to explain to you, after everything that we've been through, that I want you to be by my side. That I would want you to be tied to me in every f*****g way possible. How dare you doubt that? How dare you doubt my love for you? You have all of the information now. You know me. You know everything I've been through. I have shown you that I would, have, and will always walk away from EVERYTHING to follow you. So how dare you?" She wrapped her arms around her abdomen and finally let herself cry. "What else do you want from me, to believe me when I say, you're it for me. You always have been. Tell me, Gonzalo, what else do I do to make you believe me?"
"Nothing. You don't have to do anything. I have no excuse. I let my insecurities and fears slip through. I'm an i***t. I shouldn't have said what I said. You should have made me grovel for a chance after the way I treated you." I said in shame.
"But why, Gonzalo. Why do you have these fears? Why do you doubt that I love you? Have I not proven to you that I do?" She asked desperately.
"Because I don't deserve you." I said, panting slightly as I got worked up, "and I'm afraid you'll realize that. I am nothing special, Kassie. I'm just me and I have already f****d up more than enough for you to leave me if you wanted to and no one would judge you for it. You are...you are you. You are this amazing person with a giant kind heart that can kick anyone's a's without even so much as breaking a sweat and you're gorgeous to boot. I'm average at best. A good warrior. I've almost died twice in the last month alone. Each time someone else saved me. I should have noticed the revolver had eight bullets. I should have moved quicker. I don't know. I should have just...been better." I finished, looking down at the ground unable to meet her eyes anymore. "Can you really blame me for wondering if you want to be tied to someone like me? I couldn't even give you that special moment to mark me. Instead of a special moment your mother told you about, all I gave you was worry and heartache."
I saw her feet in front of me but I refused to look up at her face, afraid of what it would show. She put her hand in my hair and pulled it back until I could meet her eyes. "Ow," I said and she smiled. She bent down and crushed her lips to mine.
"I just spent 3 hours on a ghost tour that talked about all the idiotic reasons why their story ended in tragedy. But yours is by far the most idiotic. You are brave, loving, empathetic, and loyal. When I finally decided to fight to survive, I didn't do it because I found some random sense of purpose or will to live. I did it because I thought your life deserved to be honored with more than just a pathetic existence. When I thought I was dying in that lab, all I could think of was you. A part of me welcomed the pain because all I wanted was to find you in another life again. By some mercy of the goddess, we haven't ended up as another tragic love story someone pays to hear. So get your head out of your a*s Beta, because I'm not going anywhere." She used her fingers to brush her mark on my neck, making me shiver, "you're stuck with me now and if you ever doubt that I love you while you bear my mark again, I will make Sebastian partner you with me during training."
I chuckled as the tears left my eyes. I grabbed her and pulled her to me. I rested my head on her stomach and sighed. We stayed there for a few minutes. "I'm sorry Kassie. I really am." I told her.
She pulled me back by my hair again, more gently this time, and gave me a sweet kiss. "You need more sleep. Let our Alpha know you're still alive. I am going to grab a bag of blood from Adrien and I'll be back." I smiled and nodded. I was exhausted. I still wasn't fully recovered from the blood loss. I linked Helios and let him know everything was OK and he laughed at me when I let him know what she threatened me with. He told me not to worry about linking Theo and Seb, they were currently out having dinner and would bring back food for me.
Kassie came back a while later with a book and she let me sleep on her lap. Before I could fall asleep her voice brought me out of my bliss as I snuggled into her lap. "Did you see anything while you were... unconscious?" She hesitated before finishing her sentence, and I knew she couldn't bring herself to say when I died. I furrowed my brow, something was tickling the back of my brain but I couldn't find it.
"Not that I can remember. Why?" I asked, looking up at her
"When you were on the bus, still bleeding, you said 'I saw her," she shrugged, "I just curious as to who 'her' was."
I smirked, "Jealous, muñeca?"
She grabbed my hair and bent down to kiss me. "Not a chance Beta. You're mine. Go to sleep."
Thankfully, I had no nightmares this time and I woke up feeling rested. I looked over at Kassie. She was still sleeping sitting up against the headboard. The book is still open at her side. I felt guilty that she'd fallen asleep in such an uncomfortable position. I sat up and looked around. Dario was still resting from healing me in the back of my head. There was a bag of food on the table and my phone was on the nightstand. It was close to sundown. I took the book from her hand and tried to move her. The least I could do was let her get another half hour of sleep before we got on the plane. As I put my arms around her shoulders and pulled her to rest on my shoulder, her nose went straight to my neck and she inhaled deeply. Her arms went around my torso and she held me flush to her. I thought she was awake and kissed her neck, noticing that her scent was much more lavender than usual again. She moaned at my kiss and I heard her voice in my ear. "Mmma" I pulled back and her eyes were flashing red.
"Kassie, baby wake up," I shook her. I felt Dario stirring in the back of my head, his tail wagging in his sleep. "Kassie, wake up for me please," I said, hoping she wouldn't have a full episode.
"MMMaaa Hh" she said before I grabbed her face and kissed her. I heard her moan and when her lips began kissing me back, I pulled back.
"Gonzalo? Are you feeling OK?" Kassie asked when I sighed, relieved to see her violet shades back in control.
"You were sleep talking again," I said as I check her nose. There's a small bead of blood but nothing more. "Are you feeling OK? Not the usual pressure or your hand?" I asked, taking her hand and holding it in mine to see if there was even a slight tremor. "I feel fine. I'm sorry I scared you. What did I say?" She asked.
"I don't know. You still couldn't get anything out," I told her as I laid back down on the bed, pulling her with me.
"Hmm." She hummed.
"What?"
"Maybe next time we should let it keep going. See what I am trying to say. Aren't you curious?" She asked.
"Not if it means you start hemorrhaging," I answer her instantly. She bites her lip and looks away but nods. "Kassie, I know you want answers but I...I can't lose you. Nat can't heal whatever is happening to you for some reason. I am not strong enough to live without you again." I tried to make her understand.
"I'm not going anywhere. None of my scans ever showed actual damage to my brain. Whatever happens, it either leaves no damage or heals too quick to leave damage," She answers, "but I won't make you do it. We'll figure it out. We have the doctor. We will get answers from him."
We got up after a bit and showered. By the time we got out, Adrien was knocking on the door with Elias. I swear that man follows his mate like a puppy, but then so did I so why would I judge it. After they both got shot, I would imagine he would be tied to his side until his wolf relaxes. That reminded me. "Didn't you get shot too?" I asked Kassie as I looked to see if there was any scar on her stomach. There was a little round scar on her stomach and another one coming out the back, slightly bigger. "The damage was bad enough to leave a scar?" "No, I just wasn't healing very fast at the time," She said before she pulled her shirt down and moved away from me. Something in her eyes told me she was hiding something from me.
"What? Why? I thought wolfsbane and silver didn't affect you?" I asked. I turned to Adrien who was looking at everything else but me as he sipped from his tumbler. "Adrien?" I asked.
"Gonzalo just leave it. It's not the first or last scar I'll get. I'm fine my love." She said from behind me.
"Not until you tell me why? And why neither of you wants to tell me." I said stubbornly.
Kassie sighed and I crossed my arms to make my point. "To finish the marking, I had to give you my blood. You died, so weren't swallowing. We gave you CPR so when your heart beat on its own again, I had to feed you again. The lack of blood slowed my healing." She must have seen the guilt that smashed into me because she used her vampire speed to get to me. She hugged me. "But I DID heal, and you're here. We're both fine. That's all that matters to me." She said. I sighed and nodded as I put my head on her chest and squeezed her tight
"Umm, get a room you guys," Adrien said as he walked over to the bed and say, still sipping from his tumbler. Elias laughed and sat on a chair.
"This is their room, cariño(dear)," Elias reminded him.
"Ugh, you're so hot when you speak Spanish to me," Adrien said and I groaned as Elias blushed and laughed nervously. "I'm only doing my duty to c**k block them on occasion. What kind of son would I be otherwise?"
We arrived back in Phoenix and Helios' phone started going crazy as he turned it back on. He looked worried for a minute before he came over to us.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"I am not sure. Markus texted that we have a guest waiting for us." He said, looking down at his phone as if expecting it to ring.
"Who?" I asked.
"I asked, he hasn't answered back."
"We'll find out when we get there I guess. Let's go home. I'm hungry." I told him as we got into the SUVs and headed home. We arrive two hours later, but still no answer from Markus which begins to concern me.
We pull into the garage and straight into the kitchen.
"I'm going to link Markus," Nat said nervously as Mama Isabel starts to feed us. We still have to tell her that Kyle is dead. They had gotten very close to each other in the last year. He was always waiting on her hand and foot when he wasn't on patrol.
"Where's Kyle and Dan? I made them their favorite. Pecan banana bread," she asked. Dan comes in behind us and gives her a big hug. When she keeps looking behind him for Kyle, Helios grabs her gently and sits her down on the table. Everyone quiets as he tells her what happens.
Everyone's hearts break all over again as she begins crying. "My poor boy," she says after a few minutes. "Did you bring his body back?" she asks.
"We did," Helios responds.
She nods and stands. "Eat, I will get them ready for your ceremony."
"Mama Isabel, we can do that-" Helios began.
Like the true mother of warriors, she shakes her head. "No. You are my boys. No one else will do this. I'll go get some clothes from their rooms. I know what they liked to wear." She takes a shuddering breath and gives us all a strained smile. "Eat. If this food goes to waste, I'll make you do laps around the packhouse."
A few chuckled but quieted as some of our warriors begin to bring in the bodies. "Take them to the basement medical rooms. I'll be there shortly," she said softly.
Nat walked in a few moments later as we were serving out food. "Gonzalo, Kassie, we need you to come with us." She said as she mind links Helios and his face turns to worry.
We walk behind her as we approach one of the conference rooms. She opens the door and both Kassie and I freeze. Inside the conference room are Markus, Celeste, and Queen Karissa seating around the table with another man standing behind her.
"Hello, sister." Queen Karissa says with a tight smile. Celeste looks worried as she looks at Kassie, whose eyes are red and her hands are fisted at her side. Her anger radiating through our bond.
Why can't we catch a fucken break?