Chapter 23: Reflections on Duty and Doubt
Lucian’s POV
“Are you absolutely sure, Sire?” Frank’s voice resonated in the air as I meticulously adjusted my tie. Glancing at him through the reflection in the mirror, I observed his unwavering stance behind me, a stoic countenance etched onto his face.
“What do you mean by that?” I queried, meeting his gaze through the mirror’s glass. He maintained his posture, resolute and expressionless.
“You’ve never been an advocate of marriage,” he pointed out. I halted my tie-fixing attempts and turned to face him directly. Frank and I had grown up together, sharing a friendship that transcended the confines of our professional relationship. He had begun serving me at a young age, and our bond gradually deepened.
Indeed, he was correct. “I don’t,” I admitted.
“Yet here you are, preparing to enter into wedlock,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“I am becoming engaged,” I interjected, striving for precision.
“And subsequently, you will marry,” he highlighted the glaringly obvious. I continued to gaze at him, silently urging him to elaborate. However, he shifted his focus to the wall, adjusting his posture as if he could somehow appear more rigid.
I sensed a concealed resistance within him, something unsettling him amidst the haste of this arrangement.
“Not now,” I asserted.
“But soon,” he responded, his words lingering in the air.
I exhaled wearily, my gaze fixed upon him. Without uttering another word, I proceeded to fasten my watch around my wrist.
Tonight, I would become engaged. This day had been looming on the horizon for quite some time, though its significance held little sway over me, or so I believed.
As the intoxicating fragrance lingered in the air, she seemed to possess a certain power over me in that fleeting moment. During those moments of intimacy, sensations arose within me-perhaps nothing more than fleeting sparks ignited by the heat of the moment.
And now, here we were, engaged. There had been no coercion, no imposition of authority or responsibility. I had willingly taken this step because it promised to serve my interests, those of my company, my alliance, and my own fragile sanity.
Marriage, merely a contract bound by vows and adorned with rings, held no true weight for me. There was nothing to lose in tying this knot but everything to gain.
“A union of marriage is far from a simple affair, you know,” he remarked, breaking the silence that enveloped us.
“No,” I replied curtly, securing the buttons on my shirt.
He sighed, surrendering the facade of stoicism he had carefully constructed.
“You need not worry,” I assured him.
“I understand, Sire,” he responded, his trust evident but tinged with a subtle trace of doubt in his tone.
“Everything is within my control,” I asserted, straightening my coat. I locked eyes with my reflection in the mirror. Frank was right-this marriage might hold no significance for me, but that did not imply it would be devoid of challenges.
Despite the gratifying nature of that night, a nagging sense of incompleteness lingered within me. I knew it was Vienna with whom I had shared those intimate moments, the only woman who had been by my side.
Yet, an unsettling feeling persisted, as if something was amiss. Thoughts of that night and the woman I had slept with incessantly invaded my mind, casting a shadow over every glance I cast upon Vienna. It was as if I were beholding a different woman altogether.
But that couldn’t be. Vienna had been by my side throughout. Besides, if it wasn’t her, then who else could it possibly be?
“You still have time to reconsider, Sire,” Frank interjected.
“What is there to reconsider? This union is advantageous for the pack, the company, and my own damned sanity,” I retorted sharply.
“Yes, Sire, but-” Frank began, taking a step forward. I swiftly raised my hand, cutting him off.
“You do not question my decisions. Do not forget your place,” I snapped, seizing a glass of wine from the nearby table, and stormed out of the room.
I knew Frank’s concerns stemmed from genuine care, but he had no right to question me. Downing the wine in one gulp, I hurled the glass aside in frustration.
Making my way to the balcony, I overlooked the vast expanse of MoonStone Mansion’s grounds. The servants hurried all over, diligently preparing for the arrival of the guests.
As much as I despised admitting it, Frank’s words had managed to unsettle me. It wasn’t a matter of being prepared for marriage; it was the weight of commitment that bore down on me. If that aspect of our union were to falter, it would wreak havoc on a grand scale. The stakes were not solely personal-I was the leader of a company and a pack. This, without a doubt, was an enormous fucking risk.
Here I stood, renowned for my strength and intelligence, hailed as the King in the North, yet beneath the moon’s glow, I found myself utterly clueless about the path ahead.
For a considerable time, I had devoted every ounce of my being-time, effort, and thoughts-to pursuing my destined mate, foolishly believing it would resolve all my problems.
It hadn’t.
I hadn’t anticipated stumbling into love, but I certainly hadn’t envisioned it to be this hollow, this empty.
I gazed up at the sky and chuckled with a hint of irony.
I had been consumed by madness over the past months, consumed by the quest for my mate. And now that I had found her, not even the faintest trace of happiness stirred within me.
It was time for me to return to rationality, to quell the snapping anger, the sudden surges of heat, and the restless nights.
And yet, I couldn’t muster a bit of gratitude. It all seemed too effortless, too swift. Was it meant to be this way, or was I simply adept at finding my mate?
I shook my head, aware that I was likely overthinking the situation. I reassured myself that I would figure it out along the way, as I always had.
“My Lord,” a servant appeared behind me, catching my attention.
“Monsieur has requested your presence in his office,” she announced, bowing before taking her leave.
I went to Lord Remus’ study, finding him lounging in his chair, feet propped up on the desk, and a cigarette between his fingers.
“Big night, my lord,” he greeted me as I entered, promptly pulling his legs down and assuming a more composed position.
“Indeed,” I replied, my expression was serious.
“I apologise for summoning you here, but I wanted to inquire if you have extended any invitations to members of your pack. I wish to ensure they feel most welcome,” he explained.
“I would have, but given the suddenness of this event, I do not wish to burden them with such short notice,” I responded, considering the abrupt event.
“So, it will be just you and your butler on your special night,” he remarked, not posing it as a question.
“Yes,” I confirmed decisively. Lord Remus appeared perplexed for a moment but swiftly dismissed it.
“Very well. Are you certain you do not wish to invite anyone else?” he inquired, his curiosity evident.
“If you believe it is necessary, my lord, I can extend invitations,” I offered, recognizing his eagerness for guest attendance.
“No, it’s alright. I merely wished to ensure. Regardless, let us commence the festivities,” he declared, ready to get the party underway.