Chasing

“Your mother was a good woman…I fell in love with her despite our differences. I visited the club every time just to see her. I should have controlled myself knowing what we had would be frowned upon by the public and my family but I couldift. I loved Chloe too much to give her up.”

“…we…” he seems to be at a loss for words. He buries his head in his palms, his back rising and falling. When he brings his head back up, his eyes are red, at the brim of tears again. Guilt is written all over him and I hate this thing I am starting to feel from seeing him like that. This dread fills me and makes me want to run out the door before I hear the inevitable truth.

“I’m sorry, Leslie. I am so sorry for not fighting for you and your mother, I’m sorry I gave you both up when you needed me the most. I am sorry for choosing fame, money and my family over you. It’s been years and those things haven’t saved me from the unimaginable pain and regret I go through everyday knowing I lost an important part of me.”

I lift myself off the couch slowly, looking down at the man who is now shaking with tears. “Stop,” I say, my voice barely audible. I refuse to believe what my head is making up from his words is .true, “Please stop.” I beg before I can hear him say the words I am dreading with every part of me.

“What do I do to earn your forgiveness? What do I have to do to be worthy of being called your father, Leslie?” Covering both my ears with my palms doesn’t save me from hearing the truth I was afraid of. The world seems to go silent as he says that. I find myself in a void with the distant and repeated call of my name but I am unable to process anything until Travis taps me.

I blink, finally dragged to the present that my mind ran away from for a brief second.

“Leslie, are you okay?” Travis‘ worried voice reaches my ears again and I shake my head, slowly backing

away.

“Home…” I say breathlessly, “I want to go home. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

The man who claims to be my father comes closer to me, “Leslie”

He tries to touch me but I recoil.

“Don’t touch me!” He also recoils backward, hurt clear in his tear–filled eyes. I turn to Travis, eyes pleading.

“Please take me out of here.”

Travis nods without hesitation.

“Sir, I think it’s best we leave now for both your sakes.”

I have already turned my back to him, too shaken to look at him anymore. A hand grabs my wrist

suddenly just as another one squeezes a small brown envelope into my hand and closes my palm around

it

“I’ve been punished for so many years because I gave you both up. I deserve every punishment I have -gotten. If you decide not to see my face again too as a punishment for what I have done, I shall accept it but please don’t punish me that way, my child. It will kill me to know my only child hates the sight of me.”

Squeezing the envelope he gave me tightly in my hand, turn without a word and walk out of the house

12

26 BONUS

not caring if Travis follows or not. I get into the car and Travis joins seconds later.

The drive back to Travis‘ home is quiet but my thoughts are the total opposite. Once we get to his house, i go into my room immediately, tearing the damn envelope into pieces to get to its content. Out falls a black card but something else that falls catches my eyes instead.

It’s a picture.

“Mom…” I whisper as I look at the photo where she’s smiling brightly. He’s there too–my father–right beside her, looking at her with so much love and adoration in his eyes instead of looking directly at the camera. Together, they hold an infant in their arms. Me

I fall to the ground by the bed. I cannot hold my tears back as I stare at the picture of the family I should have had. The family I was robbed of and made to live without. Grandmother knew this and she waited all these years, waited till I was in desperate and in need before leading me to the truth.

My tears escalate into sobs so loud they draw Travis‘ attention as he races into my room in concern. He stops when he sees me and without asking questions, he falls to his knees beside me and gathers me into his arms.

I bury my head into his chest as I cry harder than I ever have.

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