Chasing His Muse

I knew something had happened, I could feel it in my bones. Just like the day my parents died. My body shivered. God! Please let this be a mistake.

I tried to concentrate on making my coffee. But I kept on gazing at my phone screen. Looking at it, wishing it would stay quiet for the day. Then it rang, and it startled me. My fingertips were shaking as tapped the answer button.

“Nicolette my girl, I’m at your front door. Could you let me in?” Laura asked me on the other line.

“Yes Laura, I’ll be right there,” I answered.

No… No…

I opened the door and looked at her and I knew it. “Brenton? Please tell me he’s okay? Laura! Say something…”

She just pulled me to her embrace, and let me cry. “Damn it, Laura! I told you! I love him, and this is what happened. I can’t do this.”

“Ssh… my child, he’s in the hospital. He was mugged last night and was stabbed with a knife. He’s out of surgery and stable now. They’re confident, about the full recovery. He’s asking for you in his sleep. His parents asked me if you would come. I could take you to him if you want. Look, I don’t want to put more pressure on you dear. You’re also at risk here.” She explained.

I nodded at her. “Come in Laura, I need you to talk to me, about my risks.”

“I’m trying to be strong here Laura, but life keeps giving me shit.” She smiled at me. I poured her some coffee, I needed something to busy myself with.

“Nicolette dear, this could be your chance to dig yourself out of the hole. He could help you out. I know Brenton. I actually know Brenton much much longer, than you would think.” She brushed my hand lovingly.

“He’s always a regular at the hospital. Since ten years ago, when his sister was admitted there. Oh… Nicolette, he is just as broken as you are dear.” She wiped my newly shed tears.

“He lost her, she eventually committed suicide and no one can stop her. She passed away, and ever since then, he would offer his help as a volunteer at the hospital. It’s his way of coping with her death. He blamed himself. His parents can’t get through to him.” She kept on talking as I tried to calmed myself, and listened to her.

Deep down inside, I needed to know his whole story. I needed to know if I could move on with him. If I could survive to love him.

I didn’t know that he had been hurt before. Now I knew why he was always quiet when I had an episode. He knew. He knew exactly how it felt to want to be left alone.

“His tattoos tells his whole life story, Nicolette. Some people wiped their hurtful memory. But Brenton kept them inked on his body. He would never let himself forget about Gwen.” She continued.

“I think when he first saw you, it triggered his natural instinct to protect you. What he couldn’t do, to protect Gwen. He will give his life, to protect you. That day, when you told him it was over. I can see him breaking down. My dear, I can see that he loves you deeply. But he still forced himself to listen to me and backed away. He’s chosen you, over himself Nicolette.” She sighed.

“That’s when I know that I will have to give you a choice. Will you help him pull through? and also help yourself up. I know you’re a strong-willed woman Nicolette. I know you can survive this. You have, Regan, Ian, and myself and now you can have Brenton also. That is if you could pull yourself up and help him.” She hugged me and leave me to my thoughts as she drank her coffee, and waited for my decision.

I glanced at my parent’s picture above the mantle. I could see their happiness. The happiness I was chasing and failed with Collin. The happiness that made me scared to move on.

I went to their picture as I trailed my fingers tracing their happy face. I would do anything for a chance of that kind of happiness. If I could fucked up my life with Collin. I should be brave enough to start my life with Brenton.

Why am I even thinking about this? I love him. I should be with him.

“I’m going to change and get my things for the hospital. Fuck it, Laura! I love him. If destroyed my self loving him, I’ll bravely take that chance.” I hugged her tight, and quickly run to my bedroom.

We arrived at the hospital half an hour later. Laura took me to his room. He was sleeping, he looked so pale. I rushed to his side.

“Brenton love, I’m here baby. I’m good, we’re good. Please wake up.” I kissed his chapped lips, my tears were flowing.

“I love you, baby, I’m so sorry.” I hold his hand, kissing it. Laura was on my back, she rubbed my arm and I hugged her. That was when I saw them. His parents, she looked at me giving me a little smile. As her husband helped her up and walked my way.

“Mr. & Mrs. Adams. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you’re both still here. My sympathy for what happened to Brenton. This is Nicolette. Nicolette dear, these are Hellen and Patrick Adams, Brenton’s parents.

I held out my hand to her, but she pulled me in for a hug. “Thank you, for coming. He’s been mumbling your name for hours now.” Hellen rubbed my arms. I just nodded and smiled at her.

“He woke up earlier, but they put him on a sedative to help him recuperate faster.” Patrick also hugged me and thanking me for coming to see his son.

“Can I stay with him?” I asked them not knowing what to say to them. Since I never knew their existence, until this morning when Laura came to my house.

“Of course Nicolette. It’s our pleasure. I know Brenton had probably never mentioned us.” She looked sad, but her husband hugged her and kissed her forehead.

“But you’re here now. Whatever it was, it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here at his time of needs. And that what parents are for.”

“Oh! Nicolette, you are too sweet… I can see why he falls for you.” She gave me her warmest hug. At the same time, I could hear Brenton was calling my name.