Chasing His Muse

Brenton’s POV

I looked at the painting, didn’t know for how many hours already.

I woke up this morning feeling ecstatic, having her in my life. Loving her. I’ve never even known, I could feel this way again. Not since Marcie, that voluptuous red-haired bitch.

But this was much more than Marcie, I couldn’t believe that I had fallen for her that fast. Since Marcie I had pledged myself, to never settle to one woman. That I would fuck whoever I wanted, and live happily ever after with my wealth until I was old enough to die.

Nobody cared about me anymore, not since I killed my little sister, Gwyneth. God! I missed Gwen. I should’ve taken better care of her. She needed me, I knew she had been hurting. I should’ve pushed harder. Maybe she would still be alive. I should’ve seen the signs. She was never been that brave, she had been bullied because of her weight issues. Mum and dad were always too busy, to noticed her change of behavior. But I saw right through her, I just didn’t try hard enough.

Maybe Nicolette was right. Maybe we’re moving too fast. Laura told me to backed off, and promised me that she will keep an eye on Nicolette, and she would also ask Regan and Ian to watched her.

She knew about Gwen, she understood me, she knew my fears. Gwen was admitted to the same hospital as Nicolette. That was why I stayed there. It’s like I was trying to make up for my failure with Gwyneth.

I didn’t want to get hurt again. Marcie hurt my ego that day when she revealed her true nature. When I found Marcie, with her legs eagerly spread for her ex. She said that she loved me for my wealth, and for all the things that I could give her.

The wealth that I never asked for. I was a surviving artist, showcasing my works. When one day, some rich fuck decided that he liked my paintings, and decided to buy them all at a ridiculously high price tag set by the gallery owner. My best friend Trisha. She was tremendously happy with her sale and fucked me, to hell and back that night. I smiled reminiscing her. But it was just lust, platonic lust.

Never passion, never deeper feelings. There was always something at lost, in every fuck I had before. Until I found it in Nicolette. It was like another level of experience, happiness, lust, hope, passion, love. I love her so much. I intended to give her all the space she needed. Until one day, she would be back in my arms.

One day.

Until then. I would paint her. I needed to paint her, I needed to let all the feelings out.

I decided to call Trisha.

“Hey Trisha, yes. About the schedule. I think I could make it. Yes, I’m working on it right now. I think you’re going to love it. Cause I’m not even sure if I want to sell these now. No, it’s okay. Well… No. I will be okay. I promise you. She left. But I think I need to give her some space for now. Meaning, I could finish my works faster. And that will be good for you…”

We kept on talking for a while longer. She had become my best friend for awhile now. She knows about Gwen, she was the one that encouraged me to paint my pain.

I was estranged from my parents after Gwen. They always look at me like it was my fault like they had lost the wrong child. Like it should have been me, instead of her.

I started laying out my paints and brushes, then started frantically painting my heart out in trance. The pain, the love, the insecurity, the blame, the passion, the lust, I pour out all my feelings. Strokes after strokes of paint and colors, deeper, stronger, darker, until I stopped.

Then I started the same process with another canvas.

Then another.

Then another.

Until I passed out, laying on the floor.

I opened my eyes the next day, it was dark already, I didn’t even know what day and what time it was.

I tried to get up, and slowly dragged myself up to the kitchen and gulped down a bottle of water. I sat down on the floor trying to gather my strength.

Until I heard the rattles of keys, opening my door.

“Fuck! Dude! What happened? Trish called me earlier. She told me to check up on you. Damn it! Come, get up off the floor.” Shane held out his hand for me.

We sat on the couch, while he put the pizza and beer that he brought with him, on the coffee table.

“I’m good Shane. It’s just one of those days. My creativity was on a roll that’s all.” I lied to his face.

“Fuck it, man! Don’t talk to me, like I haven’t known you for years! You were my fucking roommate, throughout college. I think I would’ve known when you’re not being you. Damn! I should’ve come earlier.” He told me to set out our meals and drinks.

“Now eat! Then we talk.” I ate as he told me to, my stomach thanked me with a growl.

“Thanks, man, this is good. I needed this.” We ate in silence and flushed down our pizza with cold beers.

“You know Shane, I never knew you care so much about me. But I might have to tell Trisha to backed off a bit. She scares me sometimes.” I was finally full and started to get my words back. He laughed at me and slapped my back making me coughed my beer.

“Dude! Unnecessary! Sometimes I would wish you and Trisha, just fuck already. She’s always calling you for favors, I know she got the hots for you, Shane. I think both of you are such great players, you might finally find your match.”

“Who said that we haven’t already? I won’t be sharing that info dude! I don’t fucked and tell, I’m not like you! But I do think she’s hot though. I mean those legs and that ass. Hey! you’re straying our conversation here, Brent!”

“Hey, it’s just that one time man! God! I knew I should never tell you about it.” I drank my beer and tapped my belly.

“So, speak man! I’m waiting.” He muttered.

I sighed, and start telling him about Nicolette from day one.