Camp Closeted

Chapter 1: I’m Straight, Bro

I feel like an actual piece of garbage. I don't feel okay and everything in my life is going to shit.

I slowly closed my eyes as I took a deep breath in, trying to relax my tensed muscles as my mood only

got worse.

My sexuality is the last thing I'd ever want the people in my school to know about and the fact that I'm

sitting here on my couch like a dead pig contemplating whether my life is still worth it or not because I

got outed is a really trashy feeling.

"Fuck my life!" I screamed, already feeling my mom's cold glare pierce through the kitchen.

"Micah, language!" She yelled back, proceeding to walk towards me. "Is everything okay?" She asked

with a seriously worried tone, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

My eyes kept closed for only another second until I finally opened them at her. "Have you ever had one

of those days where you just honestly wanna vanish. Or better, sleep and never wake up again?"

My mom humorously looked up. "Yea of course, every time I remember I married your asshole of a

father."

"Well mom this is worse." I felt my breathing start to become more rapid as I fixed my posture on the

couch. "Maybe not worse but it's definitely not okay." I added.

"Okay, spill the tea already! Throw shade!" She laughed as I cringed. "Wait before you do I just wanted

to say that I really like your slang by the way and I use it at work, everybody loves me now because I'm

a such cool mom."

"I don't even say those things." I suddenly winced. "You're not that cool-" She quickly interrupted me.

"Hush, I don't need your approval because I know I'm cool." She smiled before speaking again. "Now

forget about me. What's your issue?"

I tried to speak through the incoming wave of emotions as I rolled my eyes. "You know that football

player I told you about." She quickly closed her eyes since she seemed to connect the dots already.

"Well he outed me out to everyone at school, and now my phone is being blasted with DM's and

comments if it's true or not."

"DM's?" She queried out of nowhere, making me roll my eyes as I answered.

"Direct messages."

"Oh, well I specifically told you not to trust him just because he's attractive. I warned you about this.

You can't just tell the other kids that he's lying?" She spoke, continuing to make my blood boil at myself

for being so stupid to be trusting the football team captain just because he was hot.

"Mom they're not gonna believe me! He's popular and I'm not." My voice got subtly quieter as

continued. "Well now I am since I'm now known for being this little thirsty gay kid who wants to get with

the captain of the football team. What makes it worse is that it's actually the other way around! It's not

okay to out someone's sexuality just because you're insecure about yours and you have a reputation to

keep."

"I'm really sorry Micah." My mom's tone was very depressing to hear. Knowing how close we are, I can

tell how saddened she genuinely feels about my situation. "We're gonna fix this okay?" I slowly nodded

as I returned her warm comforting hug.

"I don't know how but thanks I guess." I sighed through my existential crisis, my mind racing on what I

should do next.

Jump off a cliff maybe?

Knocks on my front door progressively got harder as I tried to ignore it so I don't miss a single moment

of my favorite T.V show, but it was clearly not gonna stop.

Ugh why do other humans exist!

I rolled my eyes as I casually opened the door. "May I help you." My mouth dropped as Brandon's

green eyes sliced through mine. "What the hell, what are you doing here?"

I felt myself unconsciously move back from him as a rush of emotions began to course through my

body every second I kept my eyes on him. It was like looking at someone absolutely different. All the

moments, the time, the things we gave to each other, stripped away as if it was some fever dream that

never happened.

"You don't sound too happy to see me." He smirked, walking himself in as he adjusted his varsity

jacket. My mouth was still dropped as I watched him act so careless. "Look Micah, I gotta admit, you're

so much better than my girlfriend. She doesn't even know how to kiss me right."

"Brandon this is not okay! Get the fuck out of my house before I call the cops." My fists tightened as

looking at him only made me angrier.

"Why are you so mad?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

My eyebrows furrowed down as my mouth only got wider. "Why am I- why am I mad? Are you fucking

kidding me right now? You outed me out to everyone at school!" I screamed out.

Thank god my mom went to the store because he's about to catch these hands.

"Oh that." Brandon pouted as he looked like he was holding in a chuckle. "I didn't think you'd care." He

shrugged.

"This is ridiculous! Brandon get out of my house, I can't believe you just said that." I pointed my finger

to the door.

"Chill Micah, you're acting like a girl. That's one of the reasons why I liked getting with you. You didn't

act like a little bitch. But now look at you." He threw me a dirty look as he buried his hands into his

jacket pockets.

"Well this little bitch doesn't want anything to do with you. You ruined my life and you don't even seem

to have a single ounce of care!" I rapidly swung the door open as I gestured for him to leave. "I never

wanna see you again. You're a disgusting human being."

"Yea right. I know you think I'm hot!" Brandon replied back.

My face wrinkled in pure confusion as my hand ruffled into my head. "W-what are you even saying right

now. Who are you. The Brandon I know would've never done that to me."

"L-look I just told everyone that you were gay. I mean it's not like I lied you are gay right? I just don't get

why you would be so mad about it." He defended as tears began to stream down my flushed cheeks

now. "I mean I basically have it worse, I'm the one that's gotta face all the questions like why was I

hanging out with the gay kid. I had to tell everyone I hung out with you for tutoring and I hate lying."

"Are you even straight?" My voice got unconsciously louder as he prepared to reply again.

"I'm 100 percent straight, bro." He slowly nodded his head, a perfect strand of brown hair falling onto

his eyes. "I just wanted to experiment and see how kissing a guy would feel like."

"B-but-" I struggled to talk as began to cry more as it seemed like it only annoyed him even more. "You

said you liked me. You said you were ever gonna let anyone hurt me. All these years you made me

think it was safe to open myself up to you and I've never done that before." I sniffed as I felt like dying.

"Oh come now don't cry, I just said those things because it made you more passionate. if I never said

those things you would've been so dry at kissing, and mind you, you're a virgin. Virgins are awful at

kissing." Every word that left his mouth stabbed and tore me apart as I began to feel dizzy now.

"That is so bullshit! Are you listening to yourself right now? You're trapped inside a glass closet

Brandon. Also I'm not just some experiment, I'm a human being!" My fists clenched at him.

"Something tells me you're not really mad at me." Brandon threw me a smug look, biting his lip as he

slowly moved closer towards me.

"What are you talking about?" My face was disgusted as I moved back, my tears dripping down on the

wooden floor.

"Your nose is bleeding." He let out a devilish laugh as I let out a tired sigh. "That only ever happens

when we do stuff together. Micah I know you like the way I make you feel."

I gently brushed my hand under my nose and let out an exasperated noise as it quickly drew blood.

"Get out! I never wanna see you again!"

"Whatever." He shrugged, preparing to leave. "Have fun getting your ass handed to you on Monday.

The boys in the football team are already planning to beat the fuck outta you anyway, fag." He laughed

as he walked out the door, making me slam it the second he walked out.

I took a deep breath as I tried to gather my thoughts but it failed and swirled like a tornado in my head. I

didn't even notice the tears that continued to fall down my cheeks anymore as I processed everything

he said. I couldn't control myself as I began to have a full on breakdown.

I slowly turned around against the door, resting my head on it as I cried, proceeding to curl up into a

ball to only cry louder. My quiet sounds of cries mixed in with the engine of his car outside as it

proceeded to drive away.

A rainfall of tears continued to leave my eyes as I felt my tightened chest begin to hurt and my throat

begin to form a lump. I felt broken since it was so easy for him to say those things to me like I was

nothing. Like I wasn't human. I began to feel disgusted with myself as I couldn't believe I let Brandon

touch me thinking like he actually cared about me. How pathetic that I actually thought someone like

him would like me for me.

He told everyone the only thing I felt like I had complete control over and it might be dramatic to say,

but it felt like the world was ending. God knows I didn't have a single bone in my body that would be

ready to confront everyone about it and he took that freedom and choice from me.

After what felt like an eternity of sobbing like a lost dog, I finally gained enough energy to get up from

the door and go back to my room.

I don't care what anybody says, boys can cry too.