Breaking The Routine

Chapter 11 Chapter 11 - New York, New York

The airport terminal was really packed but Sam guessed that was normal considering it was near Christmas and all that. She chewed her lip nervously as she and Robert exited the plane and into the airport. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," she said nervously taking a few steps back and feeling a sense of panic wash over her. Robert gave her a "don't be silly look" as he draped his arm over her shoulders and guided her towards the baggage claim.

"Chill, just take deep breaths Samantha," Robert told her and grabbed her luggage handing it to her. "You know many times we work up our fears in our head so much that they are usually larger than life. If we gather up the courage to actually face them more times than not we realize that that what we fear really wasn't worth the fear in the first place," he explained and grabbed his own.

"I hope you're right because I feel I just stepped in to the lion's den," Sam admitted honestly with a frown and he mussed her hair playfully. "Great, just great, I am a nervous wreck and now look a mess, thanks a lot! You're doing a great job in making me feel much better," she told him with mocked anger giving him a push smiling. However it faded when she saw Mark was with Tabby. He was frowning looking very unhappy to be there. Why did he have to come, he hates me, she thought darkly. Tabby rushed up to her and gave her a bear hug squealing Sam deaf but she didn't care was just as happy to see her friend.

"How I have missed you girl," Tabby squealed giving Sam a once over smiling then eyeing Robert over. "So this is your friend?"She asked putting special emphasis on the word friend with a sly smile at the end.

"Yes this is my friend, Robert; Robert this is Tabby and that is Mark" She said and Robert held out his hand smiling. "Nice to meet the ever famous Tabby, Samantha talks about you non-stop," he said shaking Tabby's hand and just nodded to Mark with a cool expression which Mark seemed very happy to return.

"Aw really, you talk about me." Tabby said clasping her hands together.

"Of course, you're my best friend. How am I not going to talk about you," Sam told her and she could almost able to see the blonde's ego grow. Tabby snagged her arm around Robert's and Sam's. Mark's frown grew colder, Sam noticed.

"So tell me Robert, how did you meet my dear Sam and how the hell did you get her to let you call her Samantha? She has always hated her full name," Tabby asked as they walked out of the airport

"Oh I know she told me several times how much she hated it but I just ignored her and kept calling her Samantha till she gave up telling me how she hated it," Robert told her with a evil smile.

Tabby nearly doubled over with laughter. "Oh I like you," Tabby told him and he grinned at her.

"You're not so bad yourself," Robert replied with a smile. "Samantha and I met when I helped her find her classes. I teach philosophy, the business and the philosophy departments are pretty close so I knew where all her classes were since she obviously didn't pay much attention to the orientation," he explained giving Sam a light disapproving look and she shrugged with a smile as Robert went on relating their first meeting.

"So you guys want to come to the apartment first or leave your things at your hotel first?" Tabby asked and Sam stiffened wanting to avoid Mark's apartment at all costs. If she was there David could pop up in any minute. Sam swore she would avoid any place that David might be as if it has the plague.

"I think we should stop at the hotel first then how about we meet somewhere for lunch?" Robert suggested smoothly and Mark seemed as relieved as Sam felt. Tabby pouted a little but agreed that they would meet in their hotel lobby in an hour.

When Robert and Sam got in the taxi she waved to her friend from the window and sat down with a sigh of relief. "Thanks coming up the lunch idea. Their apartment is not at all neutral territory," she said looking out the window at the big city starting to think she didn't like it as much as she did Indianapolis.

"No problem Samantha that is why I am here," he said patting her on the shoulder.

"Plus I don't think Mark seconded that invitation at all," Sam replied.

"So that was stick in his ass Mark," Robert asked with an evil grin and Sam smiled slightly and nodded. "I see I got his name right then," he added looking positively impish and Sam could help a burst of laughter escape and she slapped him on the shoulder.

"Now that wasn't very nice," Sam scolded him.

"No but its true, the man looks like he just ate a whole bag of lemons," Robert teased.

"I don't think he liked that you and Tabby got along so well," she told him but it was clear Robert didn't give a damn what Mark liked.

It took a while for them to arrive at the hotel not because of the distance but because of the traffic. Sam definitely didn't like New York as much as she did Indianapolis. By time they checked in, got to their room, they had only fifteen minutes to get ready for their lunch with Tabby. Once alone in her room, Sam started feeling anxious again.

She washed her face in the bathroom trying to calm her nerves and telling herself that Robert was right that she was making a big deal of nothing. "Don't be a drama queen, Sam," she scolded herself then changed into fresh clothes actually feeling little calmer. She left her hotel room and walked down toward the lobby where Tabby and Robert were already waiting.

"Come on, the place I picked out is awesome," Tabby cheered when Sam arrived and explained that Mark had other plans already and couldn't meet them with lunch. Sam knew it was a lie but she was glad. She didn't really need a reminder of how much he disliked her or how much she really deserved it.

"Good because I am starving!" Robert declared rubbing his stomach and Sam smiled.

"You are always hungry Robert," she replied poking him in the stomach.

"So what if I am, being incredibly charming and intelligent takes a lot of fuel," he told her with a wink. Tabby and Sam rolled their eyes in unison and left the hotel.

The restaurant looked nice, which didn't surprise Sam any, Tabby, always had good taste. They sat at the table the waiter lead them too. Tabby and Robert chatted away, they seemed to get along very well but Sam wasn't listening. She was lost in her own thoughts while looking out the window of the restaurant remembering that fateful weekend that had brought her and Tabby to the city for the first time.

It seemed like a life time ago and she wasn't the same person anymore. That carefree and happy Sam was gone and replaced by the worried and guilt ridden Sam who wasn't sure if she could remember what being happy was like any more. Her thoughts turned to David, she wondered as she had done so many times before: where he was, what he was doing, who was he with? She felt her pulse quicken as she thought he could possibly any one of the people that busily rushed passed by the window.

"Samantha, everything ok?" Robert asked placing a concerned hand on her shoulder.

"Huh...oh um yeah I am great," she said with a smile realizing both Tabby and Robert looking were looking at her with concern.

"You Sam are anything but great," Tabby said pointing her fork at Sam menacingly.

"I have to agree with her on that one," he stated squeezing her shoulder lightly. Tabby tapped her finger on her chin.

"I know you're not going to like what I am going to say but I think you should really talk with David while you're here," Tabby said looking at her with a serious stare and Sam sighed loudly.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? It wouldn't fix anything Tabby!" Sam angrily stabbed a piece of chicken on her plate she had ignored till then even though she really wasn't hungry at all.

"Samantha," Robert started with his professor voice, "it would absolutely fix everything. If he is still upset by what happened maybe your apology is just what he needs to move on and if he has moved on then you should too," he lectured her.

"Yeah, I really doubt he is just sitting in his apartment waiting for me to ring the bell and say "hey it's me and I just wanted to say sorry" and then poof, all the crappy things I did will just disappear into sparkly glitter!" Sam shot sarcastically.

"No one said it would do that but I do believe it do you a lot of good. So stop being a coward and face the music woman!" Tabby told her grinning and Sam glared at her friend then looked to Robert for help.

"A coward, she just called me a coward! Are you going to let her talk to your friend like that?" Sam asked him with a demanding expression.

"If the shoe fits," was his answer with an impish expression on his face and she pouted.

"Why does everyone gang up on me, why can't anyone side with me for once? So let's say hypothetically I agreed and I stress hypothetically. I can't exactly show up on his door step and say hey

surprise I am in New York. Let's chat," Sam said pointing her fork now at Tabby before stabbing another piece of her chicken oddly feeling a little better.

"Well first it's not a surprise. He knows you're here," Tabby said as if she was commenting on the weather and Sam choked on her food. After turning a nice shade of blue the piece of chicken finally slipped down her throat and she took a large drink of water glaring at her friend.

"What do you mean he knows?" She asked her voice starting to rise. Robert draped his arm over her shoulders telling her to calm down but she ignored him. How could she be calm at a moment like this!

"I am sorry Sam, but he overheard me while I was talking with Mark. I didn't know you wanted to keep it secret," Tabby justified to her.

"This is horrible, absolutely horrible! See Robert, this is why I didn't want to come here," she stated with irritated panic.

"Calm Samantha," Robert told her reassuringly and she noticed some people turned and was staring at them. "This could be a good sign," he added.

"How could this be a good sign Robert? David knows I am here because she told him, which is exactly what I didn't want to happen! I was talking hypothetically only! I have no intention what so ever in being in the same building as David much less having a conversation with him! You know he probably hates me and I would rather pass on hearing what nasty things he has thought up to call me," Sam ranted. Tabby gave her a look that seem to say she wanted to say something but just shrugged and gave her a smile. "Don't give me that look, what is it Tabby," Sam asked but Tabby shook her head.

"Nope, for once I am not getting in the middle. You want to know more then you will have to talk to David," Tabby said determinedly.

"Oh so now you decide to shut up, it's a little late for that one don't you think?" Sam snapped acidly knowing she was being rude and unreasonable with her friend but she had to make them understand. "Listen up the both of you and make sure you both understand this really well! I am not going to meet up with David, got it! I am not going to do it. I won't talk to him, I can't! I came here to just see you and only you," Sam demanded. Robert and Tabby looked at her with disapproving expressions but she didn't care. They were lucky she didn't get up and leave them sitting right there in that restaurant and take a plane back home.

The rest of the meal was a little awkward, both Robert and Tabby appeared to want to push the David topic but knew better. When they said good-byes to Tabby Robert insisted they go visit one of the many museums and then some site seeing so that Sam could relax. The museum was alright but Sam really didn't get into art as much as Robert did but she managed to enjoy herself. She enjoyed the site seeing a lot more.

She was tired when she was back in her hotel room but she felt much more relaxed. She sighed as she slipped into the steaming hot water feeling what was left of the stress that came from the realization that David knew she was there leave her body. She loved the huge tub that was in her bathroom and only got out when the water finally went cold dressing in a large t-shirt and shorts.

"Finally, was starting to think you drowned in there," Robert joked from the large overstuffed chair where he sat and she threw a pillow at him as she sat on the bed.

"I needed that, thank you very much" she said crossing her arms and sticking her nose up in the air.

"I will never understand what it is with women and baths," he replied with a shrug.

"It's too complicated for the male mind," Sam explained to him and he gave her a half smile then turned serious.

"So Samantha," he asked her looking too serious and she frowned at him.

"So Samantha what?" She asked back decided to play dumb hoping he would get the hint.

"You know what Samantha. You are going to talk to David while you're here. So how do you want to go about it," he stated with a matter of fact tone and she glowered at him.

"Excuse me did I not make myself clear at lunch or is it just that you have gotten to that age where you start suffering from hearing loss," she shot back and Robert tossed the pillow back at her.

"I heard you just fine Mss. Sarcastic but you need to do it all the same!" Robert replied.

"Robert since you are my friend I will be honest with you. The only thoughts I have had about David is on how I can absolutely avoid him. I don't need to meet up with him what I need is to stay away from him," Sam told him.

"I know you better than that, I know you can't stop thinking about him and I know you want more than anything to speak with him but your just too damn scared to do it. Fear is never a good reason not to do something," he told her and she rolled her hating that he knew so well in only a few short months.

"Doesn't matter because it is not happening, I refuse and I am my own woman," she told him very serious. "You know what Robert; I don't see how you and Tabby seemed so convinced this is going to end up being something good for me. What if he hates me? What if he never gave me a second thought? What if he has a new girlfriend? None of those things are good for me! Seriously, me showing up could really just piss him off even more," she told him wondering if he suggested her to come to this stupid city just so he could ambush her into meeting with David!

"Samantha, have you ever asked yourself, what if he is in love with you as much as you are with him? What if he can't stop thinking about you? What if he is just waiting for you because there is

no other woman for him than you?" Robert asked her giving her a questioning stare and she sighed falling on her bed.

"That sounds too much like a Disney movie to me! I am not Cinderella nor is David Prince Charming. Sorry you're what-ifs don't work," she told him flatly hoping they would all just leave her alone.

"That is you're problem right there, you're so negative and see the glass always half empty," he told her sounding angry and she wondered why he would be getting angry with her. "You said you two shared something special and I think it is very egotistical of you to just assume it was only special for you. I know David was an ass to force things on you to quickly like that but he did it because you are worth that much." Sam sat up on her elbows looking at him doubtfully. She wasn't worth any of that, she was a lying, betraying, piece of trash one should find in the gutter.

"Take if from a guy, we don't bother ourselves to get hard to get women we just move on to one that is easier" he continued and Sam frowned. "Unless of course, the woman in question is something special, I think David falls in this category Samantha." He finished getting up from the chair he was sitting.

"Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you love someone, sometimes things just get too messed up to be able to fix things. It's best to just leave them be and hope not to screw up at the next chance," she explained and Robert shook his head.

"Tabby is right, you the most stubborn woman yet!" He told her before he left the room. Why did everyone say she was stubborn? She wasn't that stubborn and this wasn't about stubbornness. Sam couldn't believe that meeting with David and giving him a simple apology could fix all the wrong she had done, it would be too easy.

She buried herself under the covers feeling awful and regretting she ever came to this city. It made her remember how badly she missed David, how much she wanted to have him there with her, and how much she loved him. Robert said she couldn't turn the page but being here wasn't helping. Being here and remembering her first time in New York and what happened after was only making her fall back to square one.

Frustrated Sam got under the covers realizing that she couldn't dwell on the past any longer. She had to forget about David and move on. Sam was sure he had done the same a long time ago. With a loud sigh she tossed and turned waiting for sleep that didn't come. Her mind just wouldn't stop spinning around what had happened that day and what everyone had told her.