Bonds

Chapter 154 

-Alex’s POV- 

My eyes flickered open, slow and heavy. It took a few seconds for my brain to catch up with my body. Where was I? The place was dark, too dark. No windows, no doors, just endless darkness. I tried to sit up, but a sharp pain shot through my thigh. My hand went to the spot, and my fingers found something cold and hard. The knife. Delores had said it would hurt. She hadn’t lied. 

I pulled the knife out. The pain was blinding, but I ignored it. I had to get up. I had to find him and the urgency was overwhelming. I stood up slowly, my legs shaky. The ground was cold and hard, like concrete. 

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I started to make out the shape of things. It looked like a vast, empty plain. There was nothing around me, just endless nothingness. It was cold, too, a bone–chilling kind of cold that seeped into my skin. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold in the heat. 

I started walking, not knowing where I was going but driven by a need to keep moving. I walked for what felt like hours,my legs burning with every step. There was nothing to see, nothing to hear. Just the sound of my own footsteps echoing in the silence. 

Then, a flicker of light appeared in the distance. It was small, like a tiny star in the vast emptiness. Hope ignited in my chest. I quickened my pace, my legs feeling lighter. As I got closer, the light grew brighter, revealing a scene from my past. 

I was young, maybe five or six. I was laughing, running through a field of wildflowers. My mother was chasing me, her face a mask of pure joy. I could hear her laughter, high–pitched and carefree. The scene was perfect, a moment frozen in time. 

བན་བང་བའི་འར་ཡཎ་༤་༢ 

STT PEARS 

But then, the scene changed. I was still young, but the laughter was gone. My father was there, his face dark and angry. He was yelling at me, his voice like thunder. I felt small and scared. I turned away from the memory, unable to watch. 

I continued walking, the scene fading behind me. More memories appeared, flickered, and disappeared. Happy ones with my mother, painful ones with my father. I tried to ignore them, to focus on finding what I was looking for. 

But the memories were relentless. They kept coming, one after the other. Each one a piece of my past, a part of me that I had tried to bury. I felt overwhelmed, like I was drowning in a sea of emotions. 

And then, I saw it. A storm was brewing in the distance, a dark, angry mass of clouds. It was different from the other memories. It felt…alive. It just couldn’t be cupcakes and rainbows. I took a deep breath and started walking towards it, my heart pounding in my chest. This was it. This was what I had been looking for. 

The storm was closer now. The wind howled like a wounded animal, whipping around me. The ground trembled beneath my feet. I could see the storm now, a dark, swirling mass of clouds that seemed to be alive. I could hear thunder rumbling in the distance, a low, menacing growl. 

Fear gnawed at me. It was a cold, icy fear that gripped my heart. I had faced danger before, but this was different. This was a confrontation with myself, with the darkest parts of my soul. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I had to do this. I had to face my demons. 

As I stepped into the storm, the wind knocked me off my feet. The rain was freezing, stinging my skin like needles. The thunder roared, and lightning flashed, illuminating the darkness. I was alone, completely and utterly alone. 

Then, I saw him. My father. He stood in the middle of the storm, tall and imposing, his eyes burning with hatred. A cold dread washed over me. I knew what was coming. 

“You,” he growled, his voice like thunder. “You weakling.” 

I tried to speak, but no words came out. My throat was dry. He took a step forward, and I stumbled backward. I could feel my heart pounding in my cars. I was trapped. There was nowhere to run. 

“I tried to toughen you up but in the end you remained that little boy that would forever cower at my voice. All you do is disappoint, cause pain and betray everyone around you.” 

The words cut like a knife. They were true. I had betrayed Amaya, I had betrayed my children by not being there. I had been weak. 

“You’re not a man,” he continued. “You’re a coward.” 

The words ignited something in me, a spark of anger and I rose to my feet, “I am not a coward. If anyone is the coward here, it is you. You were so blinded by your insecurities which fueled your need to be better than everyone else. You could have loved me,” I felt the first tear drop from my eyes, “You could have loved her but instead you tormented us. You made our lives miserable and then you took her from me. As if that wasn’t enough, you molded me into this man that I hated every time I stared in the mirror. A man that had to build a wall around him so no one could get to him because you made me believe that everyone was out to get me.” 

I sucked in a deep breath, the intensity of the rain increased, stinging my skin even more, “I hurt people, people I should have loved because you broke my ability to trust. I am not the coward father. You are and I am done. I am done letting what you did to me control me and I am done running.” 

1/2 

D 

2/2 

10:21 AM 

My father laughed, a cold, cruel sound. He charged at me, his eyes filled with rage. I raised the knife, ready to fight. The battle was brutal. We fought with the ferocity of wild animals. I was stronger than I thought, but my father was relentless. Every blow he landed sent pain shooting through my body. 

Finally, I managed to disarm him. He was bleeding, but he was still standing. I looked at him, my heart pounding. I could kill him now, end this nightmare once and for all. 

But I couldn’t do it. I had come here to confront my demons, not to add another one to the list. I lowered the knife. My father looked at me, surprise and confusion in his eyes. 

Then, the world started to change. The storm faded, the wind died down. The ground beneath my feet started to dissolve. I could hear voices, faint at first, but growing louder. Amaya’s laughter, the sound of children playing. 

I wanted to reach out, to grab hold of something solid, but there was nothing. I was falling, but there was nothing to land on. 

A low growl rumbled deep inside me, a primal sound that was both terrifying and exhilarating. It was my wolf, calling out, desperate to break free. I wanted to answer but something held me back, a thick, invisible wall blocking our connection. It felt like a lifetime of pain and regret had solidified into this barrier. 

Just as I was about to give up, the growling stopped. The world around me shifted, and there she was – my mother. She stood before me, looking 

exactly as I remembered her, her smile warm and inviting. Her eyes, the same shade of blue as mine, held a depth of love that took my breath 

away. 

“I’ve missed you, my darling boy,” she whispered, her voice soft and gentle. 

Without thinking, I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around her. It had been so long since I had felt her warmth, her scent. I held her tightly, as if afraid she would disappear. 

She returned the hug, her hands stroking my hair. “You’re not my little boy anymore,” she smiled, pulling back to look at me. Her eyes held a mixture of pride and sorrow. “We don’t have much time, Alex. The spell is weakening. You need to find your wolf and leave this place.” 

A wave of panic washed over me. “But I don’t want to leave you,” I pleaded, my voice trembling. 

She placed her hands on my face, her thumbs wiping away a tear that had escaped my eye. “You have to, my darling boy. There are people who need you. And remember, even though I won’t be there physically, I’ll always be with you and I’m so proud of the man you’ve become.” 

I nodded, but my heart ached. I wanted 

to stay with her forever. 

The growl started again, louder this time. I could feel my wolf’s desperation, his frustration at being trapped. I tried to reach out to him, but the barrier was still there, solid and unyielding. 

“I can’t reach him,” I said, my voice filled with despair. “I can feel him, but I can’t reach him.” 

My mother’s smile faded, replaced by a look of understanding. “You have to let go of the past, Alex. Forgive yourself. Only then can you be whole again.” 

I shook my head. “I have done so many horrible things. Hurt the very people I was meant to love. I just can’t. I can’t.” 

Her eyes softened. “You’re stronger than you think, my darling. I know it’s hard, but you have to try. The world is fading, and soon it will be too late. If you disappear in this world, you die and this time there will be nothing I can do again.” 

ཚོའི་དེ་འོང་འའི་ཤ 

It finally clicked. When I had died, when it had all ended I felt something, someone so familiar. It was her. She was the miracle that gave me another chance to live. A second chance. A chance to right my wrong but I still did not want to leave her. 

“Please don’t go,” I begged, my voice breaking. 

She reached out and touched my face. “I won’t leave you, Alex. I’ll always be with you. But you have to find your wolf. It’s time.” 

was 

I closed my eyes, trying to focus. I could feel the world around me starting to disappear. The ground crumbling beneath my feet, and the light was fading. I had to do this. I had to let go. With a deep breath, I pushed away the fear and the doubt and as soon as the words formed in my mind, the world around me exploded in a blinding light and I plummeted backwards. 

色 

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