BETROTHED TO THE BILLIONAIRE

Valerie’s POV

Impressive is an understatement of Ryan’s behavior tonight. First, he sent me a message for the very first time since we have crossed paths with each other and ended the text with a heart emoticon.

Second, he was polite enough to tell one of the guards to drive me down here.

Third, he got me flowers, apart from the necklace from last night which I haven’t brought myself to try on yet.

Fourth, he is being one heck of a gentleman.

He is trying to make me forget Fred that easily by insisting on calling me Val. I can’t help it but that name stirs up something in me that I can’t figure out.

It is not just anger or the remembrance of Fred. It is something unspeakable that I haven’t figured out on my own yet.

He was right in saying that I haven’t gotten over Fred yet. If I had gotten over the idea, I wouldn’t have cried last night.

I didn’t particularly cry. A tear actually rolled down my eyes. And I was quick to wipe it off my face because I already made a vow never to cry for him or any other man.

I am done with them.

I should get rid of him and everything that reminds me of him. This was the exact thing I said to myself on the day I met with Ryan in that restaurant. I said I wanted to forget Fred but it hasn’t been an easy task.

Forgetting him is like erasing half of my life away from my memory. Forgetting him means restricting my movement and not going to places we have been to before.

Forgetting him means not visiting the orphanage too where he accompanied me twice.

Forgetting him means a lot of things that I can not do without.

Fred left with those butterflies too but I really can’t live without them, can I?

Ryan is right. For the first time since I have known him, he speaks with so much wisdom.

I should get over Fred but not by insisting that I want to stop doing or hearing things that remind me of him.

“You know what?!” His deep voice pulls me out of my thoughts as the waiter serves our meal, taking the bouquet away and dropping them on a separate table.

My gaze lingers on the flowers until Ryan taps my hand.

“You look lost in thought”, he remarks as he digs into his food. I smile without a word. “Let’s eat.”

I suddenly lose my appetite. I wish I can tell him that but I am afraid he will get upset after everything he has done tonight, even though they are not meant to impress me.

I begin to eat too.

“A day will come when you will think about that man and smile, not because you are still hurt but because you are grateful he left.”

My spoon stops halfway.

That statement. Where have I heard that from?

I raise my eyes to meet Ryan’s own. His blue eyes shine brightly and he is nowhere close to someone who is about to lose his mother.

He looks happy and carefree, like someone who has no care in the world about what misfortune might befall him in the next couple of days or months.

That statement just hit up something in me. I know it is supposed to make me feel better but it makes me feel strange.

I think I should call this a wave of deja vu. I have heard this from someone before.

“Are you a love doctor?” I blink to come back to reality, then dump the food in my spoon back onto the plate.

He shrugs indifferently with a wide smile on his face. “I am not.”

“Have you ever been in love, then?”

“No.” He answers rather sharply.

“Then how do you know how I feel?” I never told him I was heartbroken.

What does he think of me? That I am broken because of Fred? Of course not, I might be hurt but I am a strong woman.

“I don’t really know”, he murmurs, staring into my face and his smile disappearing. “I just want to make you feel better, you know?”

I don’t feel better. I wish I can tell him this. Shout it into his ears.

But we aren’t here to publicly display our underwear by fighting like we have been doing since we got married.

Today should make a difference. That can only happen if I control my emotions because Ryan is an annoying jerk who can’t go a day without making me mad.

“I’m sure there are still a lot of men out there who are good and not…”

“Can we change the topic? I’m not interested in my man and I don’t plan on dating ever again, ok?”

He seems taken aback because his jaws drop open, perhaps out of shock or because I cut him short while talking.

“Ok”, he eventually closes his mouth and looks like he is still interested in pursuing the topic.

I throw him a cold glare and he shut his mouth again.

I sigh deeply.

This is more difficult than I thought.

Calm down, Valerie. You got this. Talk to him freely about Fred, it won’t hurt. You can’t get over him if you avoid talking about him. He is a complete asshole and I want you to prove to these men that you are not as hurt as they think. You got it, right? My subconscious screams at me.

I shut my eyes, suddenly feeling sorry for Ryan, then I pick up my spoon and say. “You are right, Ryan.”

He gazes up, his expression unreadable for a second.

“There are a lot of good men out there but I think I’m done.”

“Why? You can’t be so sure…”

“I am sure. I don’t think I can ever fall in love with another man after what he did to me.” My voice is a bit raised out of anger. I wish we can just get through this dinner without getting me to talk.

“Why?” He asks again. “Are you stone-hearted?”

I roll my eyes at him and he laughs for the first time since I have known him.

“I am not stone-hearted but if you call me that, then so be it. You men aren’t worth all the stress. Fred is an example. He taught me a lesson and I am f**king done with you guys.”

“So you mean after our contract, you will never date again?” I shake my head vigorously and continue to eat.

“Never?”

“Yes. Never.”

“That’s bad. Well, I plan to start dating again but I don’t plan to get married again. Ever since we got married…”

“Your women suddenly lost interest in you?” I mutter quickly, remembering how he once boasted to me about how women flock around him.

He looks surprised. “How did you know that?”

“You are still an arrogant asshole so I know. Stop boasting about women to me, it won’t change anything.”

“I am not boasting”, he laughs out loud. “I am telling you the truth. I don’t know what happened but I guess it was expected since we are married and they won’t know it isn’t real.”

“The marriage is actually real, it’s just that it has a few limitations”, I explain in between mouthfuls. “Don’t worry, they will come back for you when I am gone.”

He nods and takes a sip of his wine.

“Are you having sex, though?”

“Sex?” He scoffs. “I haven’t had that since I got to know of this thing…”

The way he talks about our betrothal makes me feel as though he is the only one who hated the idea. I also hate it too but what do we have to do? We have gone past that stage and all I am waiting for is the annulment period. Then we can go our separate ways.

He can go back to dating and having sex while I will go back to….

My family? No.

I don’t know what else I will do after this. Maybe I will just focus on my work and getting a career.

“So tell me about this guy.” He leans back in his seat, dropping his cutleries.

“Fred?” I look up.

“Yes, if you do not mind.”

I am not ok with the new topic but I keep reminding myself that I need to do this. This will probably help me heal.

“Why do you want to know about him?” I stop eating too. I didn’t plan on eating much after all. I pick up the glass cup and sip the wine, then drop it back to catch Ryan examining me.

“What?!” I ask, looking down at my dress to see if there is a stain or something.

“Nothing. Tell me all about him.”

“There is nothing much to say….”

“Don’t avoid the topic, Valerie. If you don’t want to talk about him, can you talk about yourself then?”

“What about me? There is nothing about me you should know about.”

“Why do you like arguing with me?” He questions and I burst into laughter.

“What? Is that the first thing you will ask me? Are you serious?”

“Yes”, I continue to laugh. “I am serious. I want to know why you like arguing and fighting….”

“I don’t argue or fight. I only try to make my opinions known…”

“By shouting?”

“I don’t shout.”

“You do.”

“Of course not.”

He keeps quiet and then takes a hold of my two hands on the table. With his gaze fixed on mine, he rubs his hands over mine like a father would do to a child.

I raise a brow, wondering what the hell is happening.

Before I can say a word about it, he raises both of my hands and pecks the back of my right hand, then the left.

My imagination is running wild.

All of a sudden, he drops my hand and rises up slowly, not breaking eye contact with me.

Leaning over the table to my side, he pecks my forehead also and buries his head in the crook of my neck.

This is when I begin to think that Ryan must either be drunk or about to seduce me to his bed because he hasn’t had sex since forever.

Before I can push him away and warn him never to try such rubbish with me ever again, he whispers into my ears. “Someone is watching us. Be calm. Don’t look nervous.”

I almost exclaim loudly in disbelief. Who could be watching us by this time? Is this why he is doing this?

He stays in the position for 40 seconds before pulling away and winking at me.

Just then, I hear a click sound of a camera and I turn slightly to the transparent door to see a man in a hood running off.