Chapter 88
Vincent Ainsworth POV
Burning rage hissed through my body like deathly poison, screeching a demanded release in the form of unwanted violence.
It felt like a volcano was erupting inside of me, fury sweeping off of me like ferocious waves, every words of her evoking dread.
I shifted the gear more increasing the speed and held the steering wheel too tightly, my mind crashing harshly, giving life threatening pain.
” It’s all because of you…… And I f***ing hate it!”
” I feel…… I feel so suffocated and trapped when it comes to you!!!”
” Each and every second ticking here, killing me with desperation to run very far away from a vicious person like you!!! ”
Her each words was suffocating me with ugly emotions, burning hate seeping through in and it was wearing me down.
How could she……
My heart dropped as the truth of those words settled in my mind. But it was turning out it was all obligation and nothing more. My chest ached deeply.
I didn’t know where I was going but I swerved into empty roads, my breath going heavy and I could hardly breathe.
*Flashback*
” Vincent! There are so many rumours spreading about her and Jake……! It’s all dating rumours for God sake!” Blake hissed at me as I was dribbling the basketball.
” Hmmm okay……” I said calmy hitting the basket.
” What the…… How can you stay chilled motherf***er??? ” Blake barked at me slapping my head hardly and I rubbed my head glaring at him.
” Owwww…… is it always necessary to hit me first and then talk???? ” I hissed at him rubbing my head as it stinged and he just showed a middle finger at me.
” I will always do if you keep pissing me off! How can you react to it so lowly!??” Blake hissed at me and I rolled my eyes.
” Because rumours need not be always true …… people talk what they want to talk. I know what my Eva is……”
*End of the Flashback*
I increased the speed, shifting the gear, a lone tear escaping from my eye, tearing through my heart.
*Flashback*
” You’ve literally gone blind Vincent! Why can’t you see the truth for once??? She’s is cheating with him behind your back!??” Emma blasted me and I narrowed my eyes at her.
” Can you stop falsely accusing her!? You just can’t disrespect my girlfriend like that!”
” I’m not falsely accusing her for God sake! She’s everywhere with him Vincent! How can you not notice that!????” Emma fired up and I sighed.
” I know…… she tells me wherever she goes. And by the way he’s just a project partner of her Emma. I’ve cleared every misunderstandings and rumors with her……”
” I admit it I feel jealous whenever I see them together…… but possessiveness and insecurity are like slow poisons Emma……. boys and girls should be taught respect for each other’s liberty……”
” And my Eva deserves the best and I’m ready to do any thing for her. I trust her from the bottom of my heart…… I know what she is and it’s enough for me.”
*End of the Flashback*
I increased the car speed more than ever, my vision blurring, the pressure in my head and chest reaching an alarming point as the question brought old memories and feelings.
*Flashback*
” Will you still believe that b*tch if I show you her deeds with full proof!??? I will definitely catch her and make you witness with your own f***ing eyes you see!!!” Blake hissed at me fuming up.
” Maybe I wouldn’t still…… even if god himself comes and tell me I wouldn’t accept it……”
” It’s called stupidity……” He scoffed at me.
” No…… it’s called love…… True love……” I laughed out whole heartedly looking at the sky, as I ran with ball, my heart racing more than ever.
*End of the Flashback*
I swerved into empty road at full speed and then slammed on the brakes with a loud ear piercing screech. My body jerked forward, and my seat belt dug into me over my jacket, causing a sharp pain.
I rested forehead against the steering wheel, breathing hard.
” You like to play around don’t you? First that guy Hayden, then me …….”
” A cheap slut always keep wh*ring around, no matter how much ever you treat her nicely……”
” I already know how much of a gold digger, attention seeking b*tch you are…”
” How would you do that, by selling this body of yours here? As you are looking nothing but a slut anyway……”
” Were you that desperate for him? Lying to me and meeting him behind my back… You even jumped to this extent just for him……?
Wh*re Slut Gold diggerWh*reSlut Gold diggerWh*reSlut Gold digger Wh*reSlut Gold digger Wh*reSlutGold diggerWh*re SlutGold digger.
I held my head panting with the travail and the pain, words ripping me, like a daggers to my heart, slicing me deeper and deeper until I bled out in life threatening pain.
This wasn’t real me……. I was never like this!!!!
I whimpered, my tears gushing out of me breaking me into pieces, everything exploding in me, and the tears, hurt, loneliness, and pain made me blind and deaf.
I had turned into emotional abuser, a monster. It was choking me, dragging me further into the depths of emptiness, and the agony, the pain was quickly getting out of control, it was prevailing over me, untill I was nothing.
I hid my face on the steering heel crying my heart out. Why did I react to her like that whenever I found her with someone else??
The rage, the hurt, the betrayal of the past blends in me like a deadly poison killing me within and unknowingly I always make her suffer with me.
I couldn’t stop my vicious mind to play with me when I saw Jennie with him. I felt terrorised and unbreakable fear evoked in me.
I’d hurt us both, and despite trying my best to focus solely on Jennie, there were moments when my thoughts betrayed me.
I’d thought time would cure everything, but as the time passed by I wasn’t so sure anymore……
Right from that Hayden to this boy……
I was aware of my recurring mistakes but I just didn’t want to return to that scary place where opened more old wounds untill it kills me within.
I struggled to find the right words to express my emotions, but I wanted to share all my feelings with her, my pain agony.
She promised me……. she’ll will heal me, make me get out of my cage which haunts me even till now.
She wanted to change me…… but I was so lost, so broken I didn’t even know how long her decision would last. One day, one week, or forever?
F***k. I thought my insaneness dominates over me, but more than this insanity, she’s the one I can’t ever resist.
A powerful fear haunted me in my dream—the fear of losing her this time.
I resumed driving my car wiping my tears, right now my heart wanted to bleed out, begging me to go to her and apologize her and tell everything was going to be all right.
I was driving towards Rose’s house, where she was. I decided to focus on something that made me happy so I wouldn’t sink deeper into this everlasting darkness which I had surrounded for past years.
I got of my car as I reached right in front of the house, my fast heartbeat deafening in anticipation.
” Go Run! Get going to that shitty village of yours! I don’t care anymore…… I don’t need your f***ing help!”
” I know how to survive I don’t need you. I personally set you free from the show you are trapped in. Both of our responsibility and ties ends here. You are on your way and I’m on mine. ”
I stilled…… freezing in my place, all the harsh words I said flashing up. I’d pushed Jennie away, so she had the right to be angry with me.
” I did everything you ordered me to, ruined my holidays, stayed here…… but you just…… what more do you want from me Vincent?”
” I just want to run to my village but I can’t! It’s all because of you……”
She felt each emotion much more intensely than I would ever be able to, and I could only imagine how devastated she’d been after I insulted her.
The allegations and hatred in her eyes, which mercilessly reminded me I’d made her suffer terribly.
It reminded me of the hunting pain, the deep agony that followed her everywhere, when I destroyed her in the university.
This raging guilt was eating me up, messing with my heart and mind, and I didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore.
I wasn’t the right person for her.
I wish I could tell her…… I wish she could understand me…… but I pushed her unintentionally again and again. She hates me now…… and I don’t know how to fix it back.
I shouldn’t be so selfish. His indifference shouldn’t hurt me.
For a person with a fear of abandonment and extreme self-doubt, this was all vain, there was no light for people like us……
Maybe we deserved to be lock in cage and let us rot in hell because we were not like rest of them……
We were captivated by our own demons…… we were damaged mentally…… we were monsters who had lost their self controls.
I closed my eyes, already shaking with cold, my tears soaked my neck and collar of my shirt, adding to the freezing cold that scraped my skin, but I didn’t mind the cold now.
I was punishing myself, so I didn’t move from my place. I always tried to make things right, yet I always made mistakes.
So many mistakes.
I was torn, battling myself.
My heart couldn’t gather courage to meet her again but it was refusing to move from my place in still hope of seeing her.
*Next morning*
I couldn’t sleep properly how much ever I wanted to, everything repeating in a loop on my mind deeply suffocating me within.
Suddenly I felt someone brushing my hair and I whimpered in cold which was numbing these excruciating feelings.
I lifted my head squinting my eyes someone appearing in my field of vision.
I let out a gasp of surprise when I saw Jennie standing in front of me outside the car.
Jennie!????
There was concern in her eyes, her eyelashes little drenched, like she had cried and the guilt increased, pressing me from all sides, making me small and insecure.
I looked away lowering my head, feeling ashamed of myself, making her feel like this. My chest constricting and the breath I’d been holding released in raspy puffs.
I needed to be away from her, because whenever she was near me, my emotions took the best of me, it made me spurt out all the emotions all at once.
She barged into the car rendering me speechless and I creased my eyebrows as I took her in.
She should be running away from me I will just hurt her more but she just adjusted herself oblivious to the tension created between us.
Is she here to make fun of me and take revenge on me?
Make me feel more low spurting out harsh words? Like how much of a monster I’m!?
I had enough already and I no mood to take in…… why the f*** she isn’t running away from me!
” What???” She said and I just froze still baffled and confused, desperate to know the answers and decipher her, but it seemed impossible.
” What do you think you are doing? ” I hissed out lowly, she was so many things, and she always made me feel so much……
Even this anger.
” Coming with you…”
” Didnt I f***ing warn y—”
” My things……. my things are still in your house. I know you told me get out, atleast I need bring back my valuable things and stuffs. So drive…” She cut me off looking ahead and I was stunned.
Things…….
So you really desperate to run away from me……
Was I delusional having a tiny hope of she actually came for me……
” No need…… I will bring your f***ing things to you, get the f*** out now.” I barked at her fuming up.
” No you won’t…… you can’t touch girls stuffs though…… I have to come on my own.”
This kid……