Ari (Child of the Beastman Goddess)

The rays of the sun shimmer through the window while I was trying to calm myself. The sun was setting, shedding its light along the horizon as it showed a beautifully drawn silhouette of the mountain from afar. Sweat runs down my body as I try to take a deep breath one after another, while looking at a nostalgic scene from the vast window of my room.

I was alone in the room while the others were preparing for dinner. They didn’t let me help in the preparation because they wanted to surprise me with the dishes they were about to prepare. I appreciate their efforts, but the loneliness was killing me as if I wanted to run to them right now if I wasn’t feeling exhausted. I couldn’t help myself but to think too much about everything.

It felt like it was just earlier when I went through the bridge, but it had already been a month passed since the day of the poisoning incident. I haven’t even cleared up the things that had happened before the incident, but they all acted like everything was already settled.

Dillon said I changed so much of my voice, my appearance and my personality-I couldn’t agree more. I can feel there was a huge change within me after I felt that horrifying tearing sensation in my heart in the bridge-but I know it’s a positive one. I felt like my chest became light and a new me was born in a blink of an eye. Even so, I couldn’t bear the conscience of almost choosing to be selfish and run away from the responsibility vested in me.

One part of me felt like I was tricked into accepting it as if it was already set on stones for me to be here and become the sacrificial lamb of this world to regain its proper order just because of the jealousy of a particular god. I don’t even know how to face my sister Ayla-I don’t hate her, but I was hurt because I felt like she killed me the moment she pushed me that day.

I drowned in my thoughts as I sat on the bed facing the window when a pair of hands suddenly wrapped around my waist while pulling me to stand up-hugging my back, but kept his silence as he pressed his head against mine. My feet were an inch above the ground, but he slowly placed me down without letting go. The beating of my heart skipped for a second due to surprise-I almost hit his face with my tiny fist, but I stopped upon sensing who he was.

I didn’t feel his presence earlier due to overthinking, but his scent and stature was neither Dillon nor Lowell. His scent exudes sweet vanilla that opposes his sharp eyes and terrifying height-I was not the only person who grew up rapidly. I couldn’t shake him off like I always did to Blake since I knew I was weaker despite the gentleness of his touch.

There was this sense of familiarity I felt from him and Tora since the day they showed up, but I couldn’t understand what it was.

He stayed still and didn’t speak, causing me to be impatient and uttered, “I didn’t know you were as clingy as a Lion. Are you ready to share your thoughts now? I don’t look like it, but I am quite impatient if there are things I couldn’t understand easily.”

“I know, you’ve always been like that. Sorry, Ari. I have no right to utter the words that others may easily convey. Can we stay like this for a minute? Just a minute, I won’t ask for more.”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion upon hearing the first few words that came out from his mouth.

I struggled and tried to pull away, but his grip was so tight and his arms were so firm. I was annoyed and uttered, “What do you mean I was always like this, Macan?!”

I was so confused because he sounded, someone I knew, but his voice and language didn’t match with the person in my mind.

His hands trembled and released me while mumbling, “Sh*t! Uh… No… Sorry… Don’t mind my words. I might have used my words incorrectly! By the way, dinner is ready, everyone is waiting for you in the dining room.”

He was so suspicious, but it’s impossible for the person in my mind to be in this place, not to mention, they look extremely different.

He looked away and showed me the way. He acted as if nothing was wrong, but I can see the cold sweat on the side of his forehead and the irregular breathing he has. I knew for sure he was hiding something he couldn’t say.

We walked into the hallway in silence and I didn’t keep my eyes away from him as he walked awkwardly towards the dining room with me on his back. He hadn’t even taken a glance back at me and his tail was as stiff as a corpse while he was walking with his hands and feet in unison.

Before we reached the dining room, I called out, “Mac!”

He froze for a moment and his fur was standing up like a surprised cat. He took a deep breath and faced me slowly with a bright red face.

His eyes were drenched and he was trembling, but he was smiling and took his time before uttering, “S-sorry… Does that mean we are close now? Am I no longer just Tora’s brother to you? Please tell me I wasn’t mistaken. Please?”

I was taken aback by his words. His response was way beyond my expected reaction he should have if he was Mac or not. He looked sincerely innocent but felt suspicious at the same time that it was hard to come up with a conclusion.

I felt awkward and guilty because of his words, but felt like I was being tricked at the same time. I wanted to believe my intuition, but what if he was really not Mac? Will I be unfair to him by thinking about another person while I look into his eyes?