Chapter 22
Flashback Continues…
Phoebe Point of View
“This is not happening, Phoebe.” Rick exclaimed in frustration. “I am telling him right now.” He announced pulling out his mobile from his pocket.
No, No I cannot let him know.
“Please understand, Rick. This situation is better handled by what I said. Please.” I pleaded and tried to make him understand that what I am doing is right.
It has to been otherwise everyone will get out of hands.
“Why don’t you understand, Rick. I cannot let you tell Nicco that I would be leaving the house forever the next week.” I exasperated pacing before him.
“You have completely lost it, girl. If Niccolo Russo comes to know about your release from the house after you are gone, then he would get all the Gods from the sky to find you. Heck, that man will break down when he come to know he can never see you again.” Rick yelled at me and ran a hand into his hair in great annoyance.
He pulled his hair in irritation and looked at me like I have gone mad completely.
“Alright, then please tell me what will Niccolo do if he learns about my release? How will he handle the matter?” I questioned him back with tears filled eyes. “Till this day, I am with him only because he was the one who paid for me, for my services but then what? What will happen after this week comes to an end?” This is a painful decision for me too. I am burning from inside and the burn will leave a permanent mark of pain which is caused by love.
But… I am doing this for his own good, why cant he understand that?
“You think all these years of what ever took place between were mere money related services?” He asked in disbelief and anger. I know Rick is friends with Nicco and he cannot take any insult against him. I can understand his anger and I am very happy that he is looking out for his friend but I am right in my place too.
This has to be done. This is the only way to clear a path for Nicco to move forward and make a future.
“There is love undoubtedly, Rick. I love him and he loves me so much as well. I know he will be very happy to know I would be getting out of this hell and would be eagerly waiting to take me back to him. But for how long?” I asked him clearing my tears and looking at him pleadingly.
Rick opened his mouth to answer me back but closed it immediately finding no answer. “How long will he keep me? I will be his mistress for how long? I don’t mind being his mistress because I love him however what about his life and his future? Rick he might love me beyond imagination but he belongs to a high society circle who should take a wife and produce heir. If I am in the picture then that would never happen, Rick.” I cried and sat down beside my bed trying my hard to stop myself from howling with pain.
The hurt that will be caused by our separation will be incurable, I know; still I want my Nicco to take a wife and have kids. If he gets stuck with me then neither he could have a family nor could his family accept me. I am already ill-fated and hurt is nothing new to me. Why should my Nicco go through unfortunate life because of me?
“I tried, you know. I killed me but I still tried to encourage him to go out with another woman of his stature. Indirectly, directly, I had tried several times to set him up with a nice girl. I attempted to get him into a good marriage but that person was not having any of it. I don’t know if he didn’t understand my efforts or he did understand but still dodged them. If I go back to him, I will be the reason to pull him back, Rick. I will be the reason for his downfall. I will be the reason for his family to get disappointed at him and I don’t want it. All these years, I was bound by the contract and couldn’t help put hold him from finding his future but not now, Rick; not when I finally got an opportunity to give him back the life somehow I held back.” I muttered crying loudly.
God, why is it so agonizing?
Why does God have to take away all my happiness whenever I thought I was finally content?
Why should this decision make my life harder?
Neither can I stay back with him nor can my heart let me leave.
I felt strong arms go around me taking me in a comforting hug. Rick hugged me tightly and patted my back to console me but there is no amount of consolation in this world to lessen my guilt, pain, anger and hate for myself.
This is torturous!
“Phoebe… Phoebe, shh calm down. Its okay I understand. Please calm down.” Rick whispered and held me in his arms like a brother would when his sister hit turbulent times.
I did not see Rick behaving this emotional or this comforting before. He was a good person, no doubt but he was a stoic person too who doesn’t let others know what he is thinking. Looking at him trying to comfort me in this chaos touched my heart.
“Where are you going then? And when?” He asked me once my tears turned into hiccups. Crying in his arms helped me. It was as if the invisible burden that was building up in my heart was lightened a little.
“On the day of Christmas… after the Christmas eve party ends.” I replied making him gape at me in concern.
“Are you sure about this, Phoebe?” I nodded my head positive and leaned my head on his shoulder when the energy inside me drained.
“Where are you going? Did you make any plans?” He asked me.
Where will I go?
I have no family or relatives. The only friend I have is Nicco. I have no house, no job nor any qualification then where will I go?
“No plans yet. Since I get some hefty amount of savings, I can manage for few months until I find a place to live and a job.” Rick nodded his head and hummed in response.
“Let’s do this. I will book a ticket for you to a safe place and will arrange a room for you there for few months until you find something to do.” Rick said challenging me to reject his offer but a beggar has no choice.
I nodded my head and smiled a little at him feeling grateful for what he is doing for me. I will miss him when I leave. Sienna and Rick are like siblings to me and it would pain me for not being able to see them again.
“Thanks. Rick, can you also please buy a new sim card with a new number please.” I asked him and in return got a frown from him.
“I don’t to give Niccolo any chance of having contact with me.” I explained before he questioned me.
I know I am being harsh on Nicco and myself but sometimes it is better to be harsh than kind. Kindness always doesn’t work in favor. Sometimes kindness is capable to induce more ache than cruelty.
Rick nodded his head and left my room without a word. Once he is out of the hallway, I walked towards the new dress that Nicco bought for me for the upcoming party. It was a beautiful dress and I would look good in it. But this time I will not be able to hear lovely whispers of Nicco describing how pretty I look.
Trailing a hand over the velvety cloth, fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. I would never be able to see Nicco after this week. I would not be able to hear his soft voice.
I would never be able to touch him, kiss him and hug him. After this week my Nicco would not be mine anymore. He will be seeking love and care in another woman’s arms.
“Am I doing this right, Nicco?” I whispered to myself and found a big album with mine and Nicco’s pictures. Going through the picture album, all the happy, sad and loving moments of all thirteen years played before me.
Our lives had many ups and downs in all these years but from now on, Nicco will only be happy. I will never let anything bad go near him.
One week…
One week more to get out of this hell and get into another unknown hell. But these few days, I plan to live to the fullest. I will live so happily with him that no amount of pain can crush my good memories with him.
Just one week more…
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