ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Cross Pov

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

I asked as we sat on the plane going back home, but she ignored me like she has been doing since our earlier conversation at home, at least she agreed to go home with me, and she was going to stay with my parents too, I had been surprised when she had said that, she had even told my mom about how she knew how much I want to be home before Anna gives birth, I had been already looking for excuses to give but she had saved the day, I had expected her to be madder at me after she met with Ginna, but the reverse was the case, even though she wasn’t talking to me right now, she spoke to me last night and even let me share a bed with her, which was progress and also she sat in the car with me on the ride to the airport and didn’t shout at me when I touched her either, and she hadn’t talked about divorce, all she had told me this morning was that she didn’t want our parents knowing we had a fight which I was okay with, I didn’t want them knowing either.

“Could you request a second pillow for me and I will like to sit by the window,”

She finally said and I got up from where I was without thinking twice, and also got the air hostess to give us additional pillows.

“Anything else? We are taking off soon,”

“Nothing, just don’t talk to me, I need enough time to get my acts together so that I can act like we are both cool when we get back to Arizona,”

She replied I couldn’t tell if that made me sad or happy, on one hand, I was happy she was at least giving us a chance, on the other hand, I was sad that she has to pretend to be cool with me. I wanted us to be cool, I wanted us to be back the way we were before this whole thing happened, the way we were at the beginning of the week, I knew I was pushing it, I had spoken to Dean this morning while she had been taking her bath, and I had told him everything that happened and he said it was better than nothing, and that I should not let her feel alone, keep telling her I love her, which wasn’t so hard to do, but each time I tell her and she ignores me, I feel a stab of pain, I wondered if that was how she felt when I hadn’t been saying it back to her.

Last night, I had watched her sleep and have decided that whatever happens, I must keep her with me, she said she had a lot of questions and I was ready to answer them and tell her everything, there weren’t secrets anyway, I just choose not to share with anyone, my parents didn’t know that Ginna and I almost had a child together but Dean knew and Max knew too, and I made up my mind to tell her too even if she doesn’t ask that, I would have told her on the day this whole issue started anyway, as we sat in the plane taking off, I ran over everything resolution I had made last night and hoped by the time we return to New York we will be a couple again, this time, we will be in love.

“How long is the flight to Arizona?”

She asked and I looked at her, glad she was the one talking to me first, she must have been watching me, she looked away when our eyes met

“About six hours or less, I think five hours and thirty minutes to be precise,”

I answered my heart doing a small happy dance just as it had done when she let me share a room and even the bed with her last night, those little things that I might have overlooked before suddenly were so important.

“Okay, not long,”

She replied.

“Why aren’t you comfortable?”

I asked in concern, I would take us back home if she is uncomfortable and call them back home in Arizona that we can’t make it, I am sure everyone will understand but I don’t want her uncomfortable.

“I am, just that this is my first flight, and I am kind of scared, I don’t want anything to go wrong,”

She explained and I wondered what the heck she meant by that because this was clearly not her first flight, heck we have travelled by air a couple of times since we got married, let’s not talk about the flights she took before we met.

“What? That’s not true,”

I said after long consideration.

“Yeah, if you just let me finish what I was saying,”

She replied and I realized I cut her off, well technically, I didn’t because she was the one that stopped talking on her own but I wasn’t about to point that out, not when I still have a lot to be forgiven for.

“Sorry, my bad,”

I apologized wondering what my previous year self would think of me right now apologizing.

“I was saying it is my first flight while pregnant and I don’t know what to expect,”

She said and it all made sense finally and she had valid reasons, but I did a couple of research and she was go to travel.

“I googled it last night and a few women do feel nauseous during the flight which is why I had requested that the flight attendant added more waste bags just in case you wanna throw up, you can tell me when you feel like it,”

I answered, she seemed to be satisfied with my answer but she didn’t say a word, just nodded and turned her head away from me as the plane finally started moving in the air, I closed my eyes and silently prayed that we only made happy memories in Arizona, fix our relationship, and stayed together…