Alpha Noah

~Abella

I have a lot on my mind as I sit here, sorting through mail.

So far, I’ve come across two pieces of mail from the pile that come from the address Noah stated on the letter to me. Just thinking about that letter makes my cheeks flush with heat, and not because the Alpha wrote to me directly, but because of how I was publically embarrassed last night in front of everyone.

I’m not sure what they wanted to prove. Maybe they are jealous, however, I know he only wrote to me on a business level. The extra part was just to make me feel good and maybe stay quiet about what he wants from me.

And Cian left so swiftly, I can’t help but wonder why. Maybe it upset him, or maybe he just didn’t like the sudden attention shift. Either way, I haven’t heard from him.

Honestly, I’m grateful.

Picking up the two envelopes I’ve been ordered to burn, I take them to a separate room. It’s late, Heather having gone back to the accommodation, while I remain to take care of the last set of mail. All that is left is to rid of this mail as per Noah’s request.

Going down a small flight of steps, I go out into an open area, where a put is already lit. Keeping my work is important, if I want to take his job seriously. I doubt Noah has any more patience left for me if I make another mistake. If all goes well, and Noah keeps his promise, I will be able to get enough money to get out of here.

With a sigh, I toss the first envelope into the fire. I slowly watch it burn, wondering what the contents could have been. I can’t help but look down at the one I hold.

What the hell…

Throwing all my inhibitions away, I tear into the envelope. This is wrong, and everything is telling me I shouldn’t look at this. It’s private. It’s Alpha business. But I can’t help myself. I know how long I’ll spend wondering what it could have said if I didn’t do this. Even if I’m completely going against everything I’ve been telling myself.

Slipping the piece of paper from inside the envelope out, I fold it out onto my lap, looking at the extensive letter that has been written out, addressed to Noah. I read the beginning immediately.

Here’s a simple truth. Our agreement is clearly off, however, that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to create some rules around what is being said to her.

“Thank you for that.”

I startle, quickly stuffing the letter under my shirt, as the sound of Noah’s gentle voice floods the small courtyard area. I’m hoping he didn’t see, but that wish it unlikely. Now he’s going to know I betrayed him, once again, because of my damned curiosity. It’s most likely he’s going to assume I’m one of his doting followers who wanted a chance to meet him, even if he was the one to offer me the job.

I clear my throat. “For what?”

“Burning the letters,” he replies, taking steps toward. I remain where I sit, staring at the crackling fire, wondering how painful it would be to dive head first in compared to being in this situation. “I know it might seem strange, but it’s better for my peace of mind that I don’t get any mail from that particular person.”

“Fair enough,” I comment, unsure of whether I’ve managed to get out of this or not.

Without any invitation to – as if he needs any – he sits down beside me. I don’t tear my eyes away from the fire, too scared that if I look at him, he’s going to know there’s one of his private letters underneath my shirt. However, my decision to concentrate on the fire isn’t going me much good. The shock of feeling his presence next to me, to smelling that cloying scent of his is inescapable.

“How are you finding it here? In the accommodation?” the asks. For a moment, I assume he is making conversation because he actually cares.

“Other than the fact that all the girls you’ve hired have it out for me, and the fact that a person from my recent past won’t quit tormenting me, I would say it could be better,” I admit, my mind straying back Cian. I can’t help it.

“I apologise about the girls. I’ll have that seen to,” Noah comments. “And a figure from your past? That’s intriguing.”

Frowning, I finally look at him.

He’s looking at me too. It doesn’t matter how many times I see him, his striking features, including those emerald eyes in contrast to that midnight black hair, his lips, his everything. I don’t let it get the best of me, though. I’m having a conversation with my boss who doesn’t know what I’m concealing under my shirt.

“Not really. What are you doing down here anyway?” I question, hoping he doesn’t think I’m trying to be rude. Sitting in his presence is unnerving, and I don’t like feeling vulnerable. This man could ruin my life in an instant.

“Boredom, really.”

I cast my glance back at the fire. “Alpha’s have time to get bored?”

“Not really. However, in my case, I’m not particularly able to leave these premises, which leaves me with little to do outside of work,” he tells me. How sad. I couldn’t imagine a life with that much power, that much weight on your shoulders. Suddenly I’m grateful for my simple job and my relatively simple life.

“You don’t have anyone to keep you company?” I ask. He could just hire someone to entertain him if he wished. I bet there are plenty of girls in the accommodation who would love that duty.

“Are you trying to decipher whether or not I’m in a relationship with my assistant?” he asks.

I almost flinch at the forwardness of his question. As much as I’m fascinated by the whole aspect of their relationship, and admittedly curious, I’m not as obsessed by it as others. It’s not as if he would be willing to share personal information like that with one of his workers. I’m not even sure his real reason for coming down here.

“No, of course not. That’s not at all what I’m saying. It was just a general question…”

“Well, is you just know, I don’t have anyone really. People can make rumours about my assistant all they want, but there are no real feelings there,” Noah tells me. I’m not sure what he is trying to prove, if anything. Maybe he is venting. Either way, I think I can see what he is insinuating.

“So, you just sleep with her?” I ask, before I realise what has just come out of my mouth. I quickly back pedal. “I’m so sorry, that was extremely out of line.”

Noah laughs under his breath. “Interesting deduction, but no. I’m not like that.”

That’s hard to believe. I feel bad just thinking about it, but I know the rumours that circulate. I know that doesn’t make it real, but it makes it somewhat likely, when almost everyone has their story about how they believe Noah is one of the more promiscuous Alpha’s. I’m not sure what I think yet.

“So why let all those girls write to you then? I know you explained it, but don’t you feel even a little bit of guilt?” I ask him, watching him shift uncomfortably. He stares into the fire, as if it’s producing his answers for him.

“Of course. But I’d much rather them indulge in a fantasy than a reality that is cruel and harsh,” he tells me.

I screw my face up. “Because being with you is such a fantasy?”

“Quite the opposite. Being with me involves a lot of heartache, I’m sure,” he admits, to which I study his face carefully. Solemn eyes, furrowed brow. He really does think that about himself. Maybe he really did come here to vent… “Although what’s the use of dwelling on that when there are worse people in the world.”

I roll my eyes. “Tell me about it.”

“Care to elaborate.”

Sighing through my nose, I think about Cian. I hate how he has managed to invade my every thought. Even now, when I sit with Noah, feeling the way he sparks up interest within me, and the way that is so similar with that golden-haired man. I decide it’s my turn to vent.

“I’m sorry if this offends you in anyway, being you’re my boss, but would you ever be with someone if everything in your mind is telling you that this person is bad and wrong for you, but you can’t keep away? Like they are so irresistible you physically struggle to contain yourself?” I ask.

Noah looks contemplative. “Your instincts are always right above anything else.”

“I knew it, that bastard,” I mutter. There has to be a reason why Cian makes me uneasy. It’s an underlying feeling that refuses to go away when I am with him.

“I have a question for you then,” Noah moves on.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like to not be you? To be normal enough that the person you so desperately want might actually want you back?” Noah questions, looking exasperated, but not tearing his gaze away from me for a second. “Because I know that feeling fairly well.”

It takes me a moment to consider that, and all the ways in which I can’t relate. I’m almost too normal.

That is, until Noah reaches out, grabbing my chin between his fingers and drawing me to his lips, where he kisses me.