Alpha Alec's Redemption

Chapter 0047

"We need to go back and start preparations," I said, breaking the silence after we'd been there for some time.

Thankfully, Knox doesn't argue. He just stood up and started the trot back home. Despite everything, we felt more at ease. I know it's only for a while before restlessness takes over, but it was still fucking worth it coming here. *How do you imagine our new mate will be?" Knox asked.

"I haven't really thought about it," I answered, not really in the mood to talk about a new mate.

Deep down, I know it's a fucking lie, though. I've thought about it, and I just can't imagine it at all.

"Honestly, I don't think there is anyone that can match Lola... I don't know if I'm ready to accept a new mate, not when my heart still beats for Ama." He whimpered, voicing the silent thoughts I've been struggling with since learning the truth.

His voice breaks a little when he mentions Lola's wolf. I want to comfort him, but I don't really know how. We've carried Lola and Ama in our hearts for so fucking long that we don't know how to let go. Even after all these years, they are still imprinted on our souls.

"We don't have a choice, Knox. We have to accept the new she-wolf if we want to stand a chance at saving our pack."

"I get that, but how can we be a true mate to her if we haven't let go of our former one. It'll be unfair to them." He was starting to give me a fucking headache. I didn't want to think about it. I already felt like my soul had been stripped raw. This wasn't the time to think of that when we hadn't even found her.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," I mumbled tersely.

Shaking his head, he scoffs. "You're trying to evade the matter."

"What do you want me to fucking say, Knox? That I'm afraid of hurting her, which we fucking will because someone else has already claimed our heart. At this point, I know we'll just be using her because we can't fully love and commit to her.

I don't want to think about it because I know we'll break her heart, and she doesn't deserve that. I'm afraid that we'll grow to resent her since she's not who we want, and, most importantly, I'm afraid she'll refuse to help us once she figures out that, apart from what she can do for us, we don't really want her."

Fuck! Why was the moon goddess messing with us? We are taught from birth to trust in her and her ways, but I'm beginning to think she abandoned us a long time ago.

Knox is quiet as we reach the pack house. Sprinting up the stairs, we rushed to our bedroom. After shifting back to human form, I took a quick shower, put on some clothes, and then headed to my office.

Opening the door, I found Jason and Micah already seated. I'd mind linked them to meet me at the office while I was showering.

"So, what's up?" Jason asked. "You seemed a little tense when you asked us to meet you."

Sighing, I rounded the table and took my seat. "I need one of you to get ready. We are leaving for The Hope Pack in three days. We need an alliance with them."

They look at me with their jaws dropped. I get them. I'm never one to go looking for alliances, but like I said, this was just in case things don't go as planned... And for some damn reason, I feel like nothing will go as planned.