Alec’s

Alec.

Regret. Regret. Regret.

That's the one fucking emotion that no one ever wants to feel. One of the emotions that has the ability to gut you and leave you hating yourself for the shit you did.

I look at my daughter and my heart hurts. I almost killed her. I hurt her mother. I lost three years with her. She doesn't know who the hell I am or just how important she already is to me.

To her, I am no one but a stranger. Someone staying in their pack. Someone who doesn't have an impact on her life. I am a nobody to her. I doubt I even exist in her little world.

These last couple of weeks, since I learned she's mine, I've watched her. Watched her play. Watched her laugh. Watched her smile. Watched her cry.

I've been studying her. Learning about her. Her likes and dislikes. What makes her happy and sad. I've watched and studied her personality. She's an amazing little girl, so full of joy. Sadie really did a great job raising her, because Aspen was an angel through and through.

So many times, I've wanted to pull her into my arms and hug her. So many times, I've wanted to kiss her rosy cheeks. So many times, I've wanted to hold her and just be with her. It has gutted me over and over watching her interacting with King. Watching her run to him when she sees him. Watching her treating him like a father figure. Knowing your daughter doesn't even recognize you is like a stab to the heart over and over again.

I know that I don't have anyone to blame, but fuck it. That doesn't mean it hurts any less.

"Hey, are you okay?" Micah's voice pulls me from my tumultuous thoughts.

Running my hands down my face, I shake my head. "No."

While Micah, Jason and I traveled in one car, Sadie, Aspen, Raven and the nanny were in the car in front of us.

My jet could only carry ten people, so the rest of my warriors who had come with us and some of Sadie's warriors would arrive the next day. Their flight was for tonight.

I would send my jet back once we arrived to pick up Piper, who had refused to leave without Calvin. They would both come, but Calvin would continue staying in my dungeon until Sadie and I decided on what to do with him.

"Is this about the pack? You know you don't have to worry since Sadie agreed to help. Everything will be okay. We won't lose anyone," Jason says, once again pulling me back to reality.

Fuck. How can I tell them that this is about more than just the pack? That this is about more than just being worried about the injured members? Everything is a mess and I have no idea where to start to fix shit. It was messing with my head. I dug a hole for myself when I treated Sadie like shit. A hole that, now, three years later is my own undoing. It's frustrating, to say the least.

"Can't you read the message on the wall?" Micah turns to Jason and asks. "What Alec is dealing with isn't just about the pack. Have you forgotten about Aspen, who doesn't even know who the fuck he is? Or what about Sadie, who wants nothing to do with him?"

Sighing, I close my eyes and lean my head back against the leather seat. Why did life have to be so complicated? I wish every person you met would come with a sign. Something like, hey this person will be important to you in the future. Tread carefully. That would have surely stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life.

"I'm not worried about that. They are mates," Jason turns to Micah in a relaxed and casual manner. "It's only a matter of time before Sadie gives in and forgives him."

"Are you fucking serious or are just being ignorant? Sadie doesn't seem to have a forgiving bone in her. I doubt she'll let this go. The fact that she asked Alec to accept the rejection after she helps us should be proof enough."