A wife for my brother

He dropped into an armchair, his hand hurting. He poured all the frustration and pain he felt for Deanna into that punch. His life without her was once again a mess. He threw his head back and cried again, silently.

Every time her smile came over his head, his heart squeezed. He could still go begging, asking her to come back; but he’d see her with Reed, getting out of his car, the guy ready to go into a fight with him for defending her, and his stomach would turn.

And Harry… all his speeches about starting over were about that. He was going to start a new life, in another city, with his daughter and his wife, but before he left he was going to make sure to end it. Was his grudge so great that he had to break them up to be happy?

For God’s sake, he wanted to kiss her so badly! He had thought he would spend the rest of his life kissing her, holding her, loving her. These desires would remain in the air, reminding him every day that he no longer had her. The tousle-haired, warm-eyed Prima Donna wannabe had beaten him.

Leaving Harry with Camilla, Susan went to look for Daniel. She found him more or less as he had been that morning when he had locked himself in his home office.

– Brother… I’m so sorry… –

– She’s not coming back, Susan… –

– Oh, Daniel! –

It broke her heart to see Daniel’s world fall apart.

– Beverly told us what Harry did, I still can’t believe it –

– He did it to take her away from me! If he couldn’t be with her, I couldn’t be with her… What am I going to do? –

He had asked himself the same question the day Emily died.

-Go get her… Go, brother… Deanna loves you and she won’t stop loving you because of this. She loves your children, she’s taken care of you all since she arrived… Please, Daniel, go find her… You have gone through so much to be together… –

This time it was not pride that paralysed him, but the fear that she would reject him. He couldn’t bear that. He didn’t react for fear of seeing her eyes full of pain and sadness looking back at him. That night, Deanna, she changed completely and it frightened him.

The powerful, overbearing man was gone, replaced by an unknown. This man’s soul ached for what he had done, and that is the greatest pain one can feel: to lose everything because of a mistake. The helplessness he felt was huge, Deanna had not been taken by disease; she was within his grasp, but he could not reach her.

Finally, Philippa went to see her at the hotel. She had no choice but to tell her mother that she had left him, and that was all Deanna needed to get the weight off her chest. As soon as Philippa walked through the door, she was disarmed from head to toe.

Hugging her mother, she cried her heart out as she hadn’t been able to before. She choked, she despaired, her body trembled. Such was her love for him. Philippa held her back as best she could, stroking her hair. She knew this would happen because men like him and men like Leonard didn’t really love.

Lying in bed, Philippa wrapped a blanket around her as she had when she was little and afraid of the dark. The warmth of her mother’s body soothed her and made her feel safe.

– What am I going to do, Mummy?

– You’re going to do what you always do, Deanna: you’re going to go on. He can’t stop you.

– I wanted to believe him, I really did. I love him too much and it hurts –

– Of course it hurts, darling, and it’s going to hurt for a long time. But one day you’ll wake up and it won’t feel so bad… And the next, a little less. Until it doesn’t hurt at all. You’ll be able to sing and pick up where you left off without fear. I’m telling you, Deanna, you can do this, you’re the strongest girl I know

– It was this woman, Beverly… She’s like Daniel, elegant, refined, beautiful… And he… he touched her and kissed her… –

The images came back to her and the crying became more agonising. How blindly she had lived all this time, thinking that Daniel would love her despite all her faults! Everyone had told her that she was not fit to be the wife of a man like him, implying that she lacked everything that Beverly had in abundance.

Had she been a different woman, she might not have felt so humiliated and unworthy. But the doubt of not being enough had always lurked in the corner of her heart, and now it resurfaced. She had been nothing more than entertainment for Daniel, how could she ever fill that place with him? Surely he would be with Beverly by now, he no longer had the excuse of a wife, a false wife, a plaything.

-Don’t cry anymore… –

But Deanna cried herself to sleep and Philippa was furious. The wretch who had come to her house to swear that he loved her daughter and meant it was just another coward. She left her sleeping and went out with one purpose: to tell Daniel some truths to his face.

But as she walked down the corridor, she saw Leonard getting off the lift.

– What are you doing here? – she asked him.

– Hi Philippa… I’m here to see Deanna and if she needs anything –

– What for? She doesn’t need anything from you, that’s why I’m here –

– Oh, please, Philippa! I know you hate me, that’s for sure. But she’s not to blame for my bullshit, at least let me help her now that she’s in this state because of that idiot –

– I’m going to find him and give him what he deserves. He’s made my daughter cry herself to sleep and I hate to think how many times he must have done it without me knowing.

– Crusher? No need, Deanna left him a wreck. He’s crying and hiding in corners like a rat –

– How do you know that? –

– I have my contacts. Come with me to the hotel restaurant, have a coffee and I’ll tell you all about it. Let Deanna sleep, there’s nothing to be gained by going after him. She’s ruined him all by herself,’ he said with a sardonic grin.

Philippa hesitated for a moment, he was just like Daniel.

-Come on, don’t be resentful. We’re both here for the same reason: Deanna.

She finally accepted Leonard’s offer and they went down to the hotel restaurant.

They sat together for the first time in over 25 years and he told her in detail what had happened between Daniel and his brother; also how the Crusher family had treated Deanna, Harry’s lies to get her to marry Daniel and how Laura had asked her to leave. Philippa was almost in tears.

– But how do you know all this? Oh, Deanna…

– I told you, I have my contacts. This world we live in is too small for us, the rumours and gossip are faster than the wind –

Of course, Leonard kept some things to himself. He had also contributed to the whole mess.