A Promising Youth

Chapter 1 Family of Origin

When I was very young, my parents argued every day about trivial things, but the arguments always

led to angry looks, pot-busting and even big fights.

My father also loved to drink and beat me when he was drunk, for no reason.

My mother tried to stop him a few times, but then she became so afraid of being beaten by my father

that she became numb to it, and it was rightly treated as a family affair.

At that time, I was really scared, especially when it was thundering and raining, I even wrapped myself

in the blanket and went to sleep under the bed.

In the countryside, there were especially many ghost and god cults. The old people spread that thunder

was from heaven to split the little ghost, who loved to hide in children's houses and took the

disobedient children to the eighteen levels of hell.

I didn't think I was an obedient child, otherwise how could my father beat me every day?

So since childhood, I have been particularly timid and sensitive, living every day with trepidation and

afraid to come into contact with anyone.

I had an elder brother, a year older than me, but our personalities and treatment from our parents were

different.

My brother was a smooth talker, very good at making my parents happy. He was never scolded but had

the best food and best clothes. He bullied me but he was uneducated.

If we didn't look like brothers, I would suspect that I was adopted by my parents.

It wasn't until I went to high school and lived in the school that my life got a little better.

Although I was ignored by my classmates because of my personality, I remained particularly content

that at least I didn't have to be beaten every day and live in extreme fear.

During high school, all the students complained that the holidays were too short and that they only had

one day off a month.

I was the only one who felt that a day off was too long, because I was too afraid to go home that

depressed and terrified me.

So every time I was on vacation, I dawdled home late into the night. And early the next morning, I

rushed to my mother to get my living expenses, fled for my life, got on a bus and left the village.

Our family was not rich. Even when I was in the county, I would not go to Internet cafes, play billiards,

or visit supermarkets like other students. Later I found a Xinhua bookstore in which I could read many

extracurricular books for free.

That became my happiest time of the month, for it was only by immersing myself in books that I could

find myself, my faint sense of existence in this world.

In the bookstore, I often ran into a pretty girl, who looked like a city girl, dressed especially fashionable,

tall, fair-skinned and smelling good.

We didn't talk, but we often sat and read together. She brought me fries, and that was the first time in

my life, I had a snack.

Carefully eating one, I licked my fingers and she laughed her head off.

Then I came across a book about “family of origin”.

At the time I couldn't stop the tears while I was reading it, because I felt like it was talking about me,

and every word stuck to my heart!

It said that a bad family environment will leave deep scars inside the child, which will make them weak,

timid and inferior, causing character defects that will follow the child for the rest of his life and cannot be

escaped or erased.

I thought everything would be fine after high school and away from my family, but this book, it sent me

into deep despair!

Because I found that the shadow that my parents gave me was not far away because of the distance,

instead it kept swaying my character, my behavior, my life.

Between my tears, a clean white tissue was handed to me by the pretty girl, who half crouched down

beside me, looked at me, and then at the book in my hand and said.

“It will be fine.” The voice was like heavenly music, more like a sweet spring that poured into my heart.

I wanted to say something to her at that time, but the cowardice and low self-esteem in my bones were

so strong that I didn't dare to look up.

Then she took out her ballpoint pen and wrote some words on my hand that it was the name of

University of Business and Economics in our province. She said that she was going to study in this

school and that she would wait for me at this university and read books with me.

I hadn't seen her since then. I thought she left for school and left the county.

And then, my life was still gloomy and I was still timid. My parents began to quarrel after three

sentences or fight. If they hated each other so much, why did they get married?

I didn't want to stay in such a family for a moment. My parents only fed and clothed me, but never gave

me any care. They never cared about my feelings but lived selfishly respectively.

I'd had many thoughts of dying, but every time the pencil sharpener was pointed at my wrist, the words

of that pretty girl, “It will be fine.” “I will wait for you in college” would come to my mind, and that

became the last straw to save my life.

A year later, I was accepted by the University of Business and Economics, not because of how much I

loved to study, but because I simply had nothing else to do but study.

I had no friends, I was afraid to entertain myself. My parents wouldn't beat me if I read and wrote; my

teachers would protect me and my classmates wouldn't bully me if I did well in school.

Most of all, I wanted to find her, who gave me hope when I was at my most helplessness.

Our high school celebrated its outstanding graduates, and even had us come up on stage to share our

experiences and tell our ideals, goals, and ambitions motivated us to have such impressive

achievements.

I didn't know how to speak. I was timid and had a dumb mouth.

Standing on the stage, looking into the eyes under the stage, I was so scared that I was shaking and

my head was pounding with dizziness.

After constant prodding from the host, I finally shouted, “I did it for a girl! She said she would wait for

me at the University of Business and Economics and told me to get in!”

The room erupted at this comment, with many students following suit, whispering and whistling.

The principal, as if someone had stepped on his foot, scurried onto the stage, grabbed my microphone,

shoved me down on the stage and stared at me viciously.

I was so scared that I went cry.

It was particularly humiliating to cry.

Because I never had any ambitious ideals, nor did I ever think that I was going to university in order to

serve my country, make contribution to society, and dedicate myself to research. I just told the truth,

and to get into the University of Economics and Business was just to find the girl, who helped me and

inspired me when I was at my most helplessness.