Chapter 1: First Experience With Love
I remembered some people saying that love made you see things that were more beautiful than they actually appeared.
Right now, I watched the man who was sitting across from me, his arms folded on the table with his head resting on them as he slept. I propped an elbow and laid my chin on my hand, gazing at him with interest.
I had noticed this many times before, but it never failed to surprise me every time. He was still so handsome since the day I first met him, and he never lost that childlike innocence to him despite him already being in his late twenties.
I still couldn’t believe that the man sleeping in front of me was the same man who was the CEO of the biggest company NA Games Inc., which was known all over the world for its global and international success in producing the best video games.
To be honest, I had never tried their games before, but my brother loved to play them whenever he had time, and his eyes would always light up whenever I bought him a new game of theirs for his birthday and for Christmas.
As I continued watching this man, I couldn’t help but feel amazed and confused at the same time.
‘Nathaniel Adams…’
‘Why me?’
This was probably a question that I would keep asking myself for a long, long time.
Of all the beautiful women out there who were intelligent and successful, he chose me.
Why?
***
Five years ago, I had been in love with the idea of romance.
My friends sometimes called me ‘Julia the Hopeless Romantic’ and ‘Julia the Innocent Girl’, because I would often talk about love, how much it interested me, and how I longed for a harmonious relationship that was filled with trust and affection.
When I was in high school, I would read tons of romance novels and squeal over cheesy romance movies. I would also get really excited whenever one of my friends was dating.
But I never got to experience love for myself, probably because I was too scared to try it out or because I found love much more interesting in books and movies rather than in real life. I did have my fair share of crushes though, but those were simply pleasant yet hopeless dreams.
I wasn’t the most attractive girl on campus back then. I had short, mousy brown hair and a few pimples on my cheek due to puberty. My eyes were a dull shade of gray, and I was basically unnoticeable.
It was only when I graduated high school that I noticed the obvious changes in myself. My hair grew longer until it fell in soft waves below my shoulders, my eyes appeared a bit bigger than usual, my chest filled out considerably, and my curves started to develop. It had been a fascinating change since I could see that I was starting to mature from a meek-looking teenager to a young adult who was now eighteen.
When the university period rolled in, everyone around me was either dating or in love with someone. I was fresh in college at that time, and after being curious enough and telling myself to finally go for it, I tried searching for my own soulmate as well.
My ‘soulmate’ back then was a student from the same college who majored in IT. I was at a karaoke bar with some friends who also invited a few guys that they knew. After I sang two songs and everybody clapped for me, one of the guys approached me and asked for my name.
Most of the people there were already drunk, but I was one of the few who were still sober. I didn’t like to drink that much and preferred water over beer.
But this guy… I could tell that he was clearly drunk.
His name was Tom Wallace, and he was a lean, slender man with plain features. His hair was black and neatly combed, and he had brown eyes and an attractive smile. I was charmed by him almost immediately, and within two hours of talking, I agreed to one date.
We arranged a meeting at a nearby café. I could still remember how impressed I was that he still remembered our date despite him being tipsy at that time. I even thought to myself that he might’ve forgotten about it, that it was all just some harmless fun that didn’t need to be taken seriously.
But he didn’t forget.
We talked a lot and discovered that we had a few things in common, much to my delight. I found that he was easy to talk to and that he liked to laugh a lot. He had a natural charm that drew me to him immediately.
I really liked Tom.
We started dating after that. He was patient, gentle, and had a natural way with words. He never got angry at anything, and he never got mad at me, either. He also always insisted on paying whenever we had a meal together.
He had hinted a few times about sleeping together, sometimes even suggesting it as subtly as he could. However, we weren’t that far into our relationship yet, so I politely refused him. Even after that, he was very understanding and promised that he would wait for me when I was ready.
He was the perfect gentleman. I thought that I was the luckiest girl alive.
It turned out that I was wrong.
After dating for a year, I planned to surprise him on his birthday with the wallet that he’d been talking about so excitedly for months. He didn’t ask me to buy it for him, and he didn’t imply anything to me at all, but I took note of this detail simply because I wanted to make him happy. Even though money was tight, I did my best to save up for him just to see that delighted smile on his face.
But the moment I snuck into his apartment, I heard something.
Something that shattered my heart into a thousand little pieces.
As I approached the bedroom, the sound of moaning reached my ears. It wasn’t a sound that one made out of pain, but one out of lust. I could even hear a woman’s voice saying ‘faster’ over and over.
I wasn’t naive enough not to realize what was happening.
I wanted to deny it right then and there. I wanted to pretend that I was just hearing things, that I was just tired and hallucinating.
But when I froze right there, the noises just kept getting louder and louder. No matter how hard I tried to pretend it was a dream, the reality was hitting me harder than a sledgehammer.
And when I opened the door, it only got worse.
The sight of Tom and another woman in his bed would never be erased from my memory for a long, long time.