A House With Heartthrobs (English Version)

We spent the whole day in front of the house of the lot owner where we lived. He seemed to hear no complaints from the people. He deliberately set our homes on fire to build a new commercial building-the squatter area where almost all of the land is owned by various traders. When I was in elementary school, we tried to live with Lolita. Still, we had difficulty with the situation because the school there is far away, and traveling is also difficult.

My companions here are getting smaller and smaller as time went on. Some left the tarpaulins used on the road. We came to the Mayor, asking for our justice. But he could not answer properly. I really feel that someone knows what happened. Even though I knew there was very little chance of hearing us, I was still hopeful. The local government assistance is not to live our life the way before we used to. Tomorrow the dead victims of the fire will be buried at the same time.

The dead victims are currently in the church for the wake. As my stomach swelled, I felt tired. I have nothing to save except the things left in my bag. Fortunately, half of my savings are in the bank. I stared at my parents’ unrecognizable face. I didn’t want to stare at them, but I couldn’t help it. I might even shed tears in their coffin. It’s hard.

“Ma, Pa. I know you are happy where you are. Don’t worry about me. You know that this child of yours is strong and brave,” I said, laughing even though my voice was hoarse because of holding back the tears that wanted to drip. I can feel the throat trap because of the ache in my heart. I took water from the water dispenser to calm down. It was as if my chest was being pinched.

Today I will spend the night at church. There is free food for the fire victims. Some also donated clothes, including blankets.

In one corner, I lay down near the window. The mat I use is what Mother Misha gave me. She is one of the kindest nuns here. She’s always open to those people who need help. In fact, when Mama had to be taken to the hospital when she got sick, she took care of everything. Even in financial deficiency, she also gave. I am very grateful to her.

“If you want, you will be with us for the time being until you return to the province,” she said after placing the noodles on the long chair. She knew I had a relative in the province, and I also told her I was planning to go home. She disagreed because apart from being a woman, I was afraid I would travel alone. She still wanted to pay for my fare, but I refused. I also wonder if I ever went home there, is there a school for my college?

“Not anymore because you have done too much for me. That’s enough, Sister. I am thankful for those things.”

“I’ll look for a job. Then I’m not sure if I can go to college in case I go home,” I added.

She took a deep breath then stacked the pillow I was going to use. “Just in case you need anything, just call me” The noodles and rice in front of me are gone. I just played with it with a spoon and fork. I don’t know if I can eat without Dad and Mom together.

I don’t know if I can survive without hugs or kisses from them every time I go home after school. The night was refreshing. After turning on my cellphone five more times, I only realized that Lucky called me. I feel the trembling in my chest. I am afraid if they know what happened.

“Kaoree! Are you busy? Auntie didn’t answer my call” I bit my lower lip. I breathed a sigh of relief. “Uh. Mama lost her cellphone. Why?” My breathing tightened slightly. It was as if he was hesitant to say because he let out a deep sigh in his own breath.

“Lolita’s medicine is running low. We don’t have any income in corn yet because the pest recently eats lots of the corn” I bit the nail of my thumb. “Uh. All right. I’ll send you the money, maybe the next week. Can Lolita still wait?” I’ll deduct that from my savings. Maybe when I find a job, I can get the money back.

“Yes, Ate. Thank you! I’m sorry. I have a lot of school fees. Then how are you, Aunt and Uncle” I drank a glass of water.

“We’re alright” It was as if a thorn had pulled me out as he dropped the call. I stood up to approach the altar where Mom and Dad were. There are a few more awake. Wiping the glass of their relative’s coffin.

“Coffee?” A boy offered me. He seems to be the son of one of those who died here. They just moved into our barangay recently, so I don’t know what’s his name. I shook. He gave his coffee to his mother, who’s mourning.

I watched him from the other row of chairs. I just noticed that I was crying because my tears were falling on my fingers.

“Hey, Lady, Are you okay?” the child approached me.

“Of course. Am I?” I forced a smile. We did not know each other, but he hugged me. I only slept for three hours. I am restless. Aside from the mixed smell here, I hear some other people crying.

It’s almost morning, most of them wake up. The crying was constant, so it was more challenging to sleep.

“Girl!” it’s Jez. He was wearing a black shoulder bag and a white polo shirt and pants.

“I just read your text! How are you? Come here” I avoided her embrace.

“You don’t want my hug?” I also agreed. I could not hold back my tears. I sobbed as he comforted me. “It’s just natural that you feel mournful. I’m still here! Your Lolita, I, and Lucky! Add my sister who’s next to me” I let go of his hug, then wiped away my tears with the handkerchief he handed me.

I think it’s a miracle that Apple is wearing a dress today. Apple is her name, the younger sister of Jez.

“I feel sorry for him,” she said. She still does not change. She looks like a woman because of her beauty, but she also likes girls too. “I’m just here even though we don’t talk often,” she added.

“Don’t be shy to tell the two of us about your problems,” said Jez while adjusting his BB cream unevenly.

“By the way, Jez. I can’t go home to the province yet. Maybe you know where I can work?” He smiled broadly. His white teeth are shown, as well as his brace. He returned the used BB cream to his expensive bag.

“Sure! I know where that is!”