Stronger

Ella POV:

It was wonderful that Annette was back. I had never seen our people so despondent. I couldn’t imagine what the alpha had been feeling all these months while she’d been chained up and incarcerated.

I couldn’t imagine what they felt when they saw each other again. Getting to be beside each other getting to touch.

I looked up from my weaving and he had made his usual pass by where I was. I looked back down at my lap and felt my cheeks heat. I wanted to run up to him to jump into his arms, feel the beat of his chest, feel the warmth. I wouldn’t though, and I couldn’t.

He was beyond my-reach and I was a disgrace to his name if he was honest about his feelings. He came from five female alphas and he was the heir to one of the most important packs in the United States.

It didn’t matter that time slowed down when he passed, it didn’t matter that no matter what we did we found our way back to each other, and it didn’t matter that the thought of him with someone else made my heart wrench in my chest.

He was my Lunas brother…..I couldn’t have him.

I finished my weaving in silence. I hadn’t seen the Luna since we’d spoken and I felt horrible for being so angry with her,

but she didn’t understand I couldn’t have him it wasn’t my place and he had a duty to do, he needed a woman who

would help him carry on his legacy.

I knew how remarkable my own Luna was her strength, her skill, her determination. I could only imagine what the other female alphas were like, I’m sure they were a much better fit for him.

So I did what I always did I kept the thought of him in the back corner of my head. I went on with my day I helped the

Luna make dinner with the others and when he walked in the room I looked up at him unable to resist and then I shoved

my wants back down.

He would walk past me and sometimes stand so close that my body would gravitate towards his the temptation to be closer, to let all those things be real, it wouldn’t be ever I knew that but if for a few seconds every day it might be.

“Excuse me,” he said and his hand brushed my back slightly and I shivered.

It lived in my head the rest of the night at dinner in the pavilion I replayed it and didn’t eat a bite, but I didn’t notice or care, I replayed the feeling of him on me just a brush, just a second, nothing more but It filled up my mind trying to push it away didn’t exist when moments like that happened.

“My son is such a good man,” A stone cold voice brought me out of reverie. “He looks after his family so well I can only Imagine what he’ll be like for his wife, so dependable,”

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I looked over to Luna Eva my joy and daydreaming frozen by her Icyness. “I love my children more than anything, I almost lost my daughter to your Alpha,” she growled. “Still she loves him so dearly,” I saw her look at her kids her eyes welling up with tears. “Love is so blinding, you know that,” she turned to me her face so disturbed, her mind clearly thousands of miles away.

“I see you two, my husband does too. I see the way he wants to be close to you so earnestly, he cannot help himself,” She brushed my hair behind my ear, and before my eyes saw him my body reacted her hand caught by white knuckles.

“I don’t know what’s being said here but I’d like to see you back to your seat Mother,” I had never heard him like that I looked up at him wide-eyed shocked to hear him so cold so angry.

“Ella,” another chilled voice, and the game of tug of war became uneven, my Luna appeared her soft hand on my shoulder, “I miss your company please come sit by me,” She grabbed my hand and led me away.

It felt out of body for a moment as if I hadn’t realized what had just happened, but I knew that Luna Eva did not see me fit for her son and the threat had been made, Charlie had stopped her before she could do anything too serious and my

Luna had protected me with her shadow over me.

I was always such a problem, always causing trouble with my presence. I hadn’t meant to start this war, I don’t even remember seeing the sigma last year but he had seen me, stayed camped outside of the pack for days calling for me, how he learned my name I don’t know, why he was so desperate for me I didn’t want to know, but he had to have me.

He had almost killed my brother to make me his, it only ended when Grayson ripped his neck out. Then his brother wanted revenge and I had brought Marcus upon my Luna, now I was ripping a family apart all because my stu pid heart

couldn’t let go of a man I never had.

*I’m so sorry Annette,” I told her. I didn’t look at her but she interlaced her fingers with mine and instead of heading to the head table, she started walking off towards her house.

I followed her trying not to cry, I should just keep away from my Luna, from her family. I had done all of this, I had I

hadn’t meant to but I had.

Somehow we had gotten to the living room and I was sitting on the couch I don’t remember taking the long walk to the house. She set down Christian and held me close to her, it was awful as I should have pushed her away and left the house but I didn’t I stayed there and I silently cried soon I felt tears on my back.

“I feel it too every day if I hadn’t gone

for

a run

mother for his first six months, Matt would have

morning,” She whispered to me. “Christian would have had his

both of his arms, and so many would still be alive,”

women who hadn’t meant to start all of this, and she looked me in the

I grabbed onto her and we sat there together two eyes. “We didn’t do anything, we didn’t lure them here, we didn’t invite them. We didn’t even speak to them they had no

right to come into our lives and ruin it all and you d

nothing wrong!,” She grabbed my arms tightly and looked at me her eyes so fiery and serious.

I inhaled deeply and a so b came out instead of a breath, “But it’s my fault, it my fault, it-s it my,” I kept saying it felt so

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true, it had to be true it all started with me, didn’t it?

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She held me again as I cried, i grabbed onto her crying so tightly I didn’t instead to end my day this way, I didn’t think Lana Eva intended for her talk to lead to this, but it did. Throughout all the horrors we had faced I had this weight on me and now here I was still holding it in my chest and the way she had looked at me the deep freeze in her mind as she stared at me I wasn’t alive to her. It made me realize I wasn’t the only one who had thought all of these things.

My tears slowly faded letting out the guilt I held onto was cathartic and when they dried I felt better and the weight was a little less. “It isn’t easy, telling yourself over and over again you didn’t do anything wrong, you hadn’t asked for this, but every time that voice whispers to you say It out loud you aren’t at fault,” she ordered me her eyes met mine “Thats what I do,”

She held my hands “Say it,” she nodded and encouraged me.

“It’s nof…my,” I stopped and Inhaled telling myself to say it. “It’s not my fault,” I rushed the words almost afraid of

them.

“I’ll tell you that too if you need it,” She wrapped her arm around me and we sat on the couch together talking then about meaningless things. Annette told me how she’d fought with her mother, she told me about Charlie as a kid and how he always had the biggest heart and protected everybody.

We talked about clothes, and food, TV shows, and my mind was eventually off of the horrible things that had happened. For the first time I wanted to be Charlle for more than him, I thought of a moment like this but instead, Annette and’I

were sisters.

I fell asleep on the couch and I dreamt of a life like that, of coming home to Charlie the sun shining on us children running around, Annette and Grayson sitting by us as Christian played with our kids, it was the best dream I had in a long time. Too bad It would never happen.

I didn’t want Ellas POV to go unseen as she was the one Marcus’s uncle had attacked in the first place. I felt she would feel guilty and that had to be adressed as one of the reasons why she thinks she cna’t be with chalric. Thank you again