Caged Between the beta and alpha

Chapter 34 Renji

RAVEN

“Well first of all, you all acted stupidly. I’ll start with that idiot of mine.” She shook her head. “I get that he doesn’t want to share. Then, instead of running away, he should have stayed here and come up with a solution, but he’s always been the passive one… Even when they were younger and both he and Kiara wanted something, he’d let her have it. I guess in this situation, he couldn’t really just give you up but also didn’t want to cause damage, and so he left. I personally think seeing that you two didn’t even move on probably just confused him even more, and he now thinks Damon has lost his chance so has decided he will take what he wants. What irritates me is that you aren’t an item.”

I remember Liam saying; ‘you two can do whatever you want”. That’s a good point. He did give us a chance in a way… Even if i t was in anger and bitterness.

“Damon, his heart is in the right place, but by playing the lenient passive one he’s giving both you and

Liam the impression that you aren’t that special to him, and I won’t deny that his relationship with

Robyn doesn’t help his case. H e said to Liam that he’d wait, but what if Liam never changes his mind?

Then what? I know Liam is calmer than Elijah, but h e is still his father’s son. They are possessive and stubborn, they won’t budge from their decision.”

That’s true too… Like Liam is fighting for me now, but Damon i s still taking the back seat, and that deep down does hurt. Aunty Red was right. I did feel it inside, even though I knew his reason. He’s trying to diffuse a bigger problem.

“And you, Raven, just waiting for men who lack brain cells and think with their dicks rather than their minds? This isn’t the 15th century. We women take what we want, know what we want, and own it. You can’t string them both along without being clear about it. I understand you want it to work, but how?

How will it work? It’s not only the emotional aspect, it’s the sexual aspect. Will you give them a day each? Will you all b e together? I don’t personally see that happening considering how Liam can’t even deal with the fact that you’re mated to Damon. But things could change. What is your plan? HOW were you going to make this work?”

Her words rang in my mind and I realised how true they were. I kept thinking ‘poor me’ and feeling sorry for myself. Talking about making it work, but never about how it was going to work…

Urgh! I feel so stupid right now.

“You’re right… I never really thought of it, I just wanted everyone to be happy, without even thinking how.”

“This is reality, and as much as two mates sounds hot or great, I don’t think we realise that there’s so much more to it mentally. We are beings with complex emotions. Ultimately, i na two mates to one woman situation, there will be jealousy and issues throughout. Even if it works out, you have to remember that there will be issues that will pop up and you have to be ready to diffuse them because you are mated to them both. Just because Liam might be acting entitled it does not mean you should be giving him more. What if when things work out, if they do, he always expects you to be his first? At his beck and call whenever he wants?”

Damn, I didn’t even think of that… This was hard…

Aunty Red sipped her hot chocolate and was now pacing my room.

“And what if it doesn’t work? Who will you choose? And if you can’t choose, ultimately, will you reject them both? You can’t let them fight over you, you will have to be the one to make that decision then.

We both know they can’t be strung along forever. This pack needs its Alpha, its Beta, and it needs you.

I want you all happy, and regardless of what decision you three make, you have to make sure that everyone is treated equally. You cannot favour Liam over Damon even if he is an Alpha. Both are men who deserve equal respect and love. If you want i t to work with both, then I’m hoping tonight you were planning on having Damon in here.” She winked, smirking at me.

I blushed, embarrassed.

“That – That wasn’t the plan! I didn’t even realise Liam was here. He snuck in!” I protested.

She frowned at that. Any amusement she had was gone.

“Raven, you need to make sure you know what you want and don’t let anyone push themselves on you, Liam included. If you have boundaries, make them clear. But also, I think you being uncertain about what you want doesn’t help. Take the reins; they are your mates.”

“I understand. Thanks for your insight, Aunty Red… I’m glad you gave me your opinion. It’s really given me a different viewpoint on it.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” She said, with a small smirk.

I glanced at her, thinking this was my chance to ask her about something else that had been on my mind.

“Aunty Red, there’s something I wanted to ask.”

“Shoot.” She said, sitting down again.

“Dad said I had a brother, that…” How do I say died because of me? “Do you know how he died?

Sadness washed over her and she looked at me sympathetically.

“Your parents never liked talking about it, I’m surprised they even told you.” She replied, looking out the window.

The sun shone on her vibrant red hair, she looked stunning and she seemed to be lost in a memory from long ago.

“Your brother was two years senior to you, but he was extremely ill. He had leukaemia, and even his werewolf healing ability wasn’t enough to heal him. The doctors advised having another child, that the chances of a sibling being a bone marrow match would be potentially higher. However, his health deteriorated fast, and even when you were born prematurely…” She hesitated, looking at me keenly.

“What else do you know?”

“Nothing, but I would appreciate it if you tell me the full story, Mom and Dad won’t ever tell me.” I said quietly.

“Your father-”

“He blamed me for his death, so I think I deserve to know Aunty.” I said softly, hoping she listened.

She frowned at that, clenching her jaw.

“You were not responsible! I thought Haru was delusional at the time due to two children on their deathbeds. How can he blame you?!” She hissed coldly.

“Please, forget Dad; just tell me the full story.” I pleaded.

She ran her hand through her hair.

“You were born at four months rather than the usual six months. They already said Renji wouldn’t make it by then and i t caused your mom to go into early labour. When you were born, you were far too weak, and they weren’t sure you would make it either. Your father wanted you to get better and stronger, but it was far too early to even consider you for the bone marrow transplant or even check for a match. I can’t believe Haru is actually blaming you for his death.” She sounded angry and her eyes flashed silver.

“It doesn’t matter.” I sighed softly. “So, he died because I was too weak to give him the bone marrow he needed?”

“Even then, the chances of him surviving were slim. You can’t blame yourself for something that was not in your control. You were blind in one eye as well…”

“What?” I asked, surprised.

“That blue eye of yours, that was Renji’s. When he passed away, the doctor offered to transplant it into you. Haru refused, but your mother said it would be a way for Renji to see the world he never had a chance to explore. When you were little, she used to say that you were so adventurous because you wanted to see the world and explore it for both of you.” She said, smiling softly.!

I swallowed hard, the emotions that rushed through me were inexplicable. So I had an eye from my brother and had never been told? To think Mom had agreed… Where was that mom of mine? She seemed so far gone under Dad’s opinions… Renji…

“Where is he buried?” I asked.

How could you feel sadness for someone you have never met?

“The children’s graveyard down by the blossom trees.” She said softly.

I nodded, I think it was high time I paid my brother a long overdue visit…